REHAB Suggestions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Lost in the world
Posts: 107
REHAB Suggestions
Hello all, I am the wife on paper of an alcoholic. We are currently separated and he knows he is not welcome in my home with our 5 year old daughter with is current drinking ways. He has just lost his second job in one year and we are without insurance. He is back on the "WANTING" to get help phase again. Without a job and insurance right now, I am scared to think of the cost of inpatient rehab, which is truly what he needs.
So, I figured I would ask you. Those of you who have made it through rehab, do you have any real success stories or facilities that really made a difference? I'm looking to find somewhere that will hopefully be somewhat affordable but where he will get the help he needs. He also has a problem with depression so I would like to find a place that also helps with dual diagnosis.
We are in Michigan and I think being closer to home knowing that family and friends could come to visit after a little while would make him more comfortable as well, but any suggestions would be very welcomed!
Thank you!
So, I figured I would ask you. Those of you who have made it through rehab, do you have any real success stories or facilities that really made a difference? I'm looking to find somewhere that will hopefully be somewhat affordable but where he will get the help he needs. He also has a problem with depression so I would like to find a place that also helps with dual diagnosis.
We are in Michigan and I think being closer to home knowing that family and friends could come to visit after a little while would make him more comfortable as well, but any suggestions would be very welcomed!
Thank you!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here us a link that might help
http://www.addict-help.com/general.htm#tollfree
And the Salvation Army runs a free program
If he is a Vet....check with the VA
I did not go to a rehab....AA was my solution.
I sure hope ge is going.
Take care
http://www.addict-help.com/general.htm#tollfree
And the Salvation Army runs a free program
If he is a Vet....check with the VA
I did not go to a rehab....AA was my solution.
I sure hope ge is going.
Take care
Last edited by CarolD; 02-21-2006 at 10:59 PM.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
I agree with Carol. Rehab wasn't necessary in my case either, in fact I'd gone through them before and drank afterwards. Not to say that it hurt though, I just wasn't committed. Of course, they all advised I go to AA afterwards. This time, I just skipped the prelims.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Hi leem,
I didn't go to rehab myself. I got started in AA and latched on to a group of folks, my first sponsor being one of them, and held on for dear life. My son, however, did go through rehab and it was a locally sponsored rehab in the county where I reside. He did a month there and then to a halfway house. Rehabs, as with any other form of drying out or getting started, work only if the person really wants to be there. Your husband has to "want to" get sober. He's not the important person here. You and your daughter are. Hold your ground.
I didn't go to rehab myself. I got started in AA and latched on to a group of folks, my first sponsor being one of them, and held on for dear life. My son, however, did go through rehab and it was a locally sponsored rehab in the county where I reside. He did a month there and then to a halfway house. Rehabs, as with any other form of drying out or getting started, work only if the person really wants to be there. Your husband has to "want to" get sober. He's not the important person here. You and your daughter are. Hold your ground.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Lost in the world
Posts: 107
Sorry I didn't reply sooner. Thank you all for your comments. I don't think AA is the answer for him. He needs a place to dry out. Not having a job again now allows him to spend yet MORE free time up at the bar. His dad says that his car must go into automatic pilot and just take him there everyday regardless.
He is getting worse, and I am afraid. I have read a few more books and both of them say that letting someone hit rock bottom may no longer be a good solution. Because that when some hit their bottom they never get back up.
Hi to you too Minnie, thanks for the welcome back. He is not actively looking for rehab options, but he asked for some information from an Intensive Outpatient facility near by. I don't know if he's called or not yet, but probably not. It is so hard to try and live my life when his always seems to overshadow mine. I know the basic rule of Alanon is to live my life first, but it's just not that easy. He is an absolute mess. While his actions don't run my life like they have in the past, they are still affecting me. I want so badly to help him. I have thought of trying to do an intervention, because he will admit that he needs help, but he just can't get his foot into the rehab door.
I don't know....sorry for blabbing on here. And thank you for the Salvation Army suggestion, but I know for sure he won't commit to a 6 month plan at this point. So I guess I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing...........feeling helpless.
Thanks!
He is getting worse, and I am afraid. I have read a few more books and both of them say that letting someone hit rock bottom may no longer be a good solution. Because that when some hit their bottom they never get back up.
Hi to you too Minnie, thanks for the welcome back. He is not actively looking for rehab options, but he asked for some information from an Intensive Outpatient facility near by. I don't know if he's called or not yet, but probably not. It is so hard to try and live my life when his always seems to overshadow mine. I know the basic rule of Alanon is to live my life first, but it's just not that easy. He is an absolute mess. While his actions don't run my life like they have in the past, they are still affecting me. I want so badly to help him. I have thought of trying to do an intervention, because he will admit that he needs help, but he just can't get his foot into the rehab door.
I don't know....sorry for blabbing on here. And thank you for the Salvation Army suggestion, but I know for sure he won't commit to a 6 month plan at this point. So I guess I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing...........feeling helpless.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Hi Leem,
The fact is, where he's concerned, you are helpless. You can spend countless hours trying to influence him in all sorts of ways, but until he's ready to do something about his drinking, nothing's going to work. He's lived his life to this point, hearing and seeing the results of his drinking, and still, he drinks. He's selfish and self-centerd. That's the problem! The people who say "don't let him hit his bottom," actually think they can say something or do something to make him change. My wife and I went through this period with our son. We let him know we loved him but he wasn't allowed in our home unless he called first and was clean and sober. We didn't give him any aid whatsoever, unless it was to go to a meeting, or rehab. Like the old saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." We can however, say and do things to make him thirsty. But, that's all. Yes, people die out there drunk, and their loved ones go for years wondering if they could have said or done something to change him. The answer is still, "not unless he wants to change." People go to rehab every day, dry out and then when they feel better, go right back to the old watering hole. He has to want to not drink any more and be totally willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that end.
The fact is, where he's concerned, you are helpless. You can spend countless hours trying to influence him in all sorts of ways, but until he's ready to do something about his drinking, nothing's going to work. He's lived his life to this point, hearing and seeing the results of his drinking, and still, he drinks. He's selfish and self-centerd. That's the problem! The people who say "don't let him hit his bottom," actually think they can say something or do something to make him change. My wife and I went through this period with our son. We let him know we loved him but he wasn't allowed in our home unless he called first and was clean and sober. We didn't give him any aid whatsoever, unless it was to go to a meeting, or rehab. Like the old saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." We can however, say and do things to make him thirsty. But, that's all. Yes, people die out there drunk, and their loved ones go for years wondering if they could have said or done something to change him. The answer is still, "not unless he wants to change." People go to rehab every day, dry out and then when they feel better, go right back to the old watering hole. He has to want to not drink any more and be totally willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that end.
BitSizeDayz
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Pretoria ZA
Posts: 56
hi all
I did the rehab thing but it did not work. off drink for 3years and went full tilt for another 10. Found the doors of AA on my own and now am 4years and have not thuoght of a drink in a long time
Hope he comes right and uses AA with a rehab program as i've heard this does work
I did the rehab thing but it did not work. off drink for 3years and went full tilt for another 10. Found the doors of AA on my own and now am 4years and have not thuoght of a drink in a long time
Hope he comes right and uses AA with a rehab program as i've heard this does work
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