zoe

It is 4:30 A.M. here and I just got a call from my niece. She was very upset and crying because as usuall my sister (her mother) is drunk and has been off of her lithium for about a month. She started back on it about two weeks ago but the drinking knocks out the effects. Anyway she had just talked to her mom and is upset because her mom is drunk and talking to people that aren't there. My brother in-law and nephwe got into a fight and they both left my sister by herself. My sister has a gun at the house and has shot at atleast one person and as far as her feelings for me well lets just say I am the last person she wants to see or talk to right now. It is tearing me up to here my niece so upset but as I told her there is nothing I can do short of calling the police. I had to help raise my niece and nephew because of this behaviour and now my niece has taken my place in dealing with her mom. I wish I could still protect her and her brother but they are both over 20. I just needed to talk

In memory of miracle

Oh, ((( Zoe )))
I'm so sorry. I would call 911 hon, as hard as that may be, she is a danger to herself and others, having a gun in the house, under those circumstances? Very dangerous. She is psychotic,as you know. I wish you the best and you will be in my prayers...
Bless, Trish

zoe

Miracle, what an appropriate name for a respondent! Yes she is psychotic and I should call the police. I have gone that route before but she can be so convinceing when faced with the law. A big part of her mental illness and her A is manipulation and deception. She was a prescription junky at one point(may still be) and I got to see first hand just how far she would go to get anything that would make her high. Unfortunatly that is what alot of people that are affected by this disease will do to feel normal. I have tried to be there for her to hold her and talk to her when she is out of lithium. I have bought her meds and had her(our) children live with my husband and me so that they could have half a chance at being children. I will not call 911 this time because as so many times before nothing good will come of it. If God forbid she does harm herself I will never forgive myself and I would not expect her children to either. As so many times befor I will wait to see how it all comes out of the wash. I have spoken to my mother about her enabling my sister by running to her aide eveytime she is out of money, is low on food, has the utillities shut off, has no place to live, because she has spent her money on alcohol but she just won't stop. I quit giving her money and food long ago when I realized that I was just a means to an end. I know she loves me and I certainly love her that is why it is so hard to watch such total destruction. I don't want to lose my sister (what I have of her) but I have to stay my distance so that if she does need some support she will call me.

At the moment my heart hurts for my niece and nephew. They love and need their mom so much. It amazes me to see the bond they all have in light of the A and mental disease that has taken so much from them. The love of a child is absolutely boundless.
I hope I was able to call my niece a little this morning. She was so worried and crying and all I could say was calm down and try to get some rest, your mom will be fine, by the time I get there she will be passed out and sleeping. I was informed for the first time that my sister was talking to a girl that was not there. This is new to me. I did not know that she talked to imaginary people but evidintly this has gone on for some time. She did tell me that she heard voices sometimes but I never imagined that she had conversations with them. We are both over 40 you would think I would know this by now.

In memory of miracle

(((( Zoe )))))
Next time she starts "talking" to those people its time for a ride in the "wagon". If anything happens it is SO not your fault. Don't do that to yourself.
Bless, Trish

zoe

She has taken the ride a couple of times already due to her first husband and once on her own. She also went to rehab which obviously did not stick. She is a self admitted A and we have talked about it because of my husband being an A in denial although he tells me he stopped a year ago but that is a whole different story. She says she likes to drink and will not quit even though she knows it hurts her kids. I need to find a way to stop my niece from being the next victim. She does tend to blow things out of proportion and quiet often she adds and leaves out details that are important to the situation so I am at a loss as to what to think right now. I can't imagine my brother in law leaving my sister alone in the state that my niece says she is in, that is just not like him. My nephew on the other hand would leave in a second. I'm thinking that he just went down the road until my nephew left and I'm not quite sure how my niece found out about all this. Who called who? So you can see where my hesitation is comeing from.

meli2005

I am so sorry to hear about this. What a bad situation!!


By drinking, she is making her bipolar disorder worse. I assume she has this due to the Lithium. Is there any way the neice can move out and be on her own and away from all the chaos? I hope things get straightened out soon.

not good to be going on/off psych meds.

zoe

Didn't mean to sound stubborn as I said I just needed to talk. I appreciate your support and your time. I am trying to go over what little info I have. My niece was crying and as we all now when in that state of mind it's hard for anyone to make sense. Being awoken at 4 in the morning I was not able to think fast enough to ask all the right questions not to mention she was standing outside in the cold (we are in Alaska) so that she could get reception on the cell.

I really wish I could call my mom but she will in turn call my sister and lecture her which will result in my sister going off on my niece and not talking to me for quite awhile. Mom just doesn't get it. She knows about the bi-polar but she doesn't understand the A and manipulation. I told her about this site and suggested she read some but I think she will be in denial till the end. Mom can not face the truth, she is a fixer, she doesn't understand that she can not fix this so she enables this to go on. Everything that happens is someone elses fault not my sisters. She is an A because her husband drinks. She is not responsible for her actions because she is bi-polar. When my nephew gets angry as says hateful things after being called filthy names by my sister he gets lectured. I am the only one who has stood up for the kids.
Thank you so much for talking with me. You have been a true miracle.

zoe

My niece is not in the home right now. She is 190 miles away, that is why she called me. She is currently liveing with her mom but had to be elsewhere for the night.

My sister has been told to take her lithium religiously or she could end up worse than when she went on it. She does do well about taking it when she is supposed to when she has it but the doctors up here are something else. Sometimes she can not get an appointment until her meds have run out wich I find ridiculous. When I know she doesn't have the money I go get them for her.

meli2005

My AH has bipolar also. When his bipolar is out of control, so is the drinking, so I know both illnesses need to be treated.

I think nationwide there is a shortage of psychiatrists, so I'm sure it is really bad in Alaska. Hard to get an appt everywhere.

The doctor told my AH that if he stops the meds and tries to go back on them, sometimes they will not work as well.