JennyK

I really really really can honestly say that I am giving no thought or energy to James's drinking...NONE. I am shocked mostly at how easy it is now that I am ready to do it. I FINALLY get that someone can not do something until they are ready to do it. I was ready...and BOY was I ready and WOW I am good at it. It feels great and freeing and a huge amout of self-induced pressure removed from me. (For those new to this board, this "discovery" has been a LONG time coming in a long term loving marriage...it has taken me a great deal of time, work and pain to reach this point).


Anyway...I do feel free from worrying about if James drinks or does not drink or how much he drinks....etc.

I won't leave him and I will go insane if I try to control him, hence I accept him and WOW...after all this time, it really is painless.


HOWEVER, I am finding myself getting neurotic about his job. I am tongue biting, stomach knotting, NOT saying what I am thinking about his job. I know he feels he should be doing better and being the wonderfully postive enabler that I was/am, I find it almost impossible to keep my mouth shut.

HOWEVER, I HAVE been keeping my mouth shut. Just waiting for the same thing to happen with the job stuff (as with the beer stuff), when the thoughts don't even make it to my mouth enough to shut it (does that makes sense???).

I really should not be worried to the degree that I am (at least in terms of the money). I am more just sad for him...this inability to find success or at least contentment with a career. Perhaps I am confusing compassion and concern with codie crap...it is a fine line at times...in a marriage.

Anyway...still feeling all "lightbulbed" after my reviewing of my life a few weeks ago. Breathing is really easy.

Jenny

cwohio

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Zoey

Acceptance is wonderful. I am so happy for you. I think praise for the good points in people is good. Has to be honest and very matter of fact.
HUGS

elizabeth1979

One day at a time.
You are at peace with his drinking being his issue.
In due time, the peace with his job will come along, I believe.
You sound well, and Im happy for you