Htowngirl

Hello everyone! This is my first post and I would like to share my story and see if any others have gone through this. Both my parents were alcoholics and my mother died of the disease when I was seventeen. My father thankfully has been sober for 20 years! My probelm is that I cannot seem to let go of the guilt I have concerning my mother's death. Towards the end she was in a drunken stupor everyday and my brother, sister and I needed money for food(My parents were divorced) I was mean and hateful to her and that was the last contact I had with her. My father attends AA meetings all the time to help him continue to stay sober and he had suggested that I go to an Al-Anon meeting which I did after mother's death but it was full of very young children and never went back. I am now 42 years old. I cannot seem to shake the guilt. Anyone have any suggestions? I would be very grateful!

splendra

((((Htowngirl))))

Welcome to Sober Recoveery! I would like to suggest that you try alanon again maybe all the kids have grown up by now. I think your dad has made a very good suggetion.

My dad died of his disease when I was 21 I was totally devistated by his death and my mom who is an addict is still alive. I felt a lot of guilt for a long time. I think it stems from children of drug addicts and alcoholics often feel responsible for their addicted parents. We take on adult responsibilities at a young age and it makes us feel like we have power over our parents. In reality though it was them making the choices and manpulating us to do their bidding...

Htowngirl

Splendra

Thanks! I do know that about the responsibilities at a young age and I do understand that they made their choices, but cannot seem to get over that. I will try to look in AlAnon again. Thanks for the support!

splendra

(((Htowngirl)))

You go girl they will help you...

nocellphone

Hi Htowngirl and welcome to SR...

Here's a link to Al-Anon in Texas if you do decide to seek some serenity in those rooms. That's where I've found mine (well, not specifically in Texas )...

I know that growing up with alcoholism leaves us with a lot of unresolved pain. I also know that healing can be found from this pain. For me, the longer I'm in recovery, the less that pain has power to rule and control my life.

Twelve Step recovery offers an amends process that helps us let go of the guilt, even when the object of our guilt is no longer with us. But before I could realistically get to the point of making amends to others, I needed to make amends to myself. That, for me, begins at Step One...