H-Ellenback

Well, third day was rocky, but I made it! Saturdays are my 'singing' days at a private blues club, where they allow smoking, so I had to smell it, look at the cigs burning away in the ashtrays, see the packs opened on the counter...GRR

Didn't take a puff, though, just kept telling myself I don't want to go through this again, ever again! But, I got to sing, and this is the price I have to pay to do something that's even more important to me.

Then I went to a party with my old Da, that he'd invited me to a long time ago, (he noticed I smelled like smoke, and I could truthfully tell him, "it's NOT mine! LOL) and people there were spending a lot of time in the open back porch area...much more fun out there, but I stayed in the living room area anyways. Even had a glass of red wine, which could normally be a real trigger for me, but I didn't cave...Went to sleep very late, slept in, had a shower, and I'm back to 'normal' now, with occasional cravings, etc....

I GOT THRU ALL THAT, and didn't lapse, just kept swearing at myself in my head, "No way, it's gross, you don't want it, or you do, but you are NOT gonna do that.." LOL

Good thing my lips weren't moving...