Do you believe that alcoholism is genetic?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 240
Do you believe that alcoholism is genetic?
And if so, would you knowingly choose to have children with your wife/husband and take that "chance"? My husband and I do not have children and I find myself wondering, if he ever does really get sober, would I allow myself to get pregnant? I don't know if I could ever get past the "what if" factor.
It's a Puggle!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: On the road to sanity
Posts: 235
I absolutely believe it's genetic...as far as kids go, I think it's a fifty-fifty chance and I love my son with all my heart, so I think I would still have gone ahead with the pregnancy even if I knew then what I know now. Can't live life for the what ifs, gotta do it for the here and now. 
Hugs,
Paula
Hugs,
Paula
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
i believe its genetic..but its more than that when it comes to alcoholic families...
families teach people how to handle crisis.... so kids taught poor coping skills have a better chance of turning to drink.
families teach work ethic... so if kids are taught to take the easy way out.. they have a better chance to turn to drink.
families teach communication... so if kids are taught that selfishness and yelling are the norm... they have a better chance to turn to drink.
families teach self value... so if kids are taught they have value only as part of a grander scheme of someones addiction... they have a better chance to turn to drink.
families teach role modeling... so if kids see that lifes struggles are best dealt with drugged, drunk, or by another means of escape.. they will have a better chance to turn to drink.
i have two children with an alcoholic. my son chooses not to drink because of the crisis he has seen with his father. my daughter was luck and had a stepfather who taught her many of the skills she will need when old enough to face those decisions. it is inherited as a trait.. but the development of the whole being.. that is dependent upon not only genetics, but environment, and guidance, and belief in a higher power.
quietsins
families teach people how to handle crisis.... so kids taught poor coping skills have a better chance of turning to drink.
families teach work ethic... so if kids are taught to take the easy way out.. they have a better chance to turn to drink.
families teach communication... so if kids are taught that selfishness and yelling are the norm... they have a better chance to turn to drink.
families teach self value... so if kids are taught they have value only as part of a grander scheme of someones addiction... they have a better chance to turn to drink.
families teach role modeling... so if kids see that lifes struggles are best dealt with drugged, drunk, or by another means of escape.. they will have a better chance to turn to drink.
i have two children with an alcoholic. my son chooses not to drink because of the crisis he has seen with his father. my daughter was luck and had a stepfather who taught her many of the skills she will need when old enough to face those decisions. it is inherited as a trait.. but the development of the whole being.. that is dependent upon not only genetics, but environment, and guidance, and belief in a higher power.
quietsins
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I think there is a vulnerability that's genetic, but I believe there are multiple causes leading to addiction and that there may very well be differing types of addiction.
Hey - I don't get any moral highground over someone addicted to alcohol, I drank as much as I could at uni but luckily my tolerence never rose and it was impossible for me to drink more than 3 pints without throwing up or falling asleep!! That's one of the many reasons I think there are physical underlying differences not caused by behaviour. I'm what's known as a lightweight and I'm not alone in that.
Hey - I don't get any moral highground over someone addicted to alcohol, I drank as much as I could at uni but luckily my tolerence never rose and it was impossible for me to drink more than 3 pints without throwing up or falling asleep!! That's one of the many reasons I think there are physical underlying differences not caused by behaviour. I'm what's known as a lightweight and I'm not alone in that.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Statistically, a child has a 45% chance of becoming an alcoholic if one parent is and the percentage rises with both parents being alcoholics. My son is recovering. My husband is recovering. However, I do feel that with the correct support, education and environment, it can be instilled in the children that alcohol isn't all it's cracked up to be and not worth even trying. We never did take our son to alatot or alateen after my husband went to rehab. For that I am sorry.
If I had the education I do now, I would still have a child if my husband had quit. However, if he was drinking I couldn't bring a child into the world with the possibility of having to live in a sick environment.
Quiet's got it about right. We are products of our environment. Even without alcohol, we can still be sick. I was growing up in my grandparents home and there was no alcohol between them, but both their daughters were alcoholics. One deceased and one in her 21st year of recovery.
If I had the education I do now, I would still have a child if my husband had quit. However, if he was drinking I couldn't bring a child into the world with the possibility of having to live in a sick environment.
Quiet's got it about right. We are products of our environment. Even without alcohol, we can still be sick. I was growing up in my grandparents home and there was no alcohol between them, but both their daughters were alcoholics. One deceased and one in her 21st year of recovery.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Posts: 387
i believe it to ge genetic. my dad is an alcoholic and like gelfling said the percentage is 45% if one parent is an alcoholic. I believe that. I am 20 years old and do not drink one I can't and two because of the fear of becoming an alcoholic. If you never pick it up than you do not have to be afraid. But with Al-Anon my mind as changed alot. CO can't live my life in fear of what ifs and if I do chose to drink in the future than it is okay because I know that facts of this disease and stuff like that. My opinion on your question is that you can't live in fear. If you want a child have one, but I do agree that you should not bring a child in if you they are still drinking., that is just my two sense
LOve,
Shana
LOve,
Shana
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 71
Yes, I believe in many cases it is genetic, but not in all cases. It depends on the person. There have been studies galore on this subject, and I think it's safe to say that YES, it is genetic for many, but not all.
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
My exabf's father is an A, his grandfather is a recovering A. Also has two uncles that are active A's; one recovering aunt and uncle. So yeah, I do think it's genetic.
Also, his Dad was sober, not recovering but a dry drunk, while exabf was growing up. He replaced gambling for his drinking during that time; I think exabf started going to the casinos very young with his Dad, thus he has a gambling addiction as well.
So, so sad!!
Also, his Dad was sober, not recovering but a dry drunk, while exabf was growing up. He replaced gambling for his drinking during that time; I think exabf started going to the casinos very young with his Dad, thus he has a gambling addiction as well.
So, so sad!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 240
Thanks everyone! I don't want to jump ahead of myself in terms of anticipating that my AH will in fact actually recover (long-term), but I'm 34 and find myself thinking about children alot lately. I am thankful that we don't have children right now going through this nightmare, but I feel like I'm cheating myself from the opportunity to ever have children, whether it's with him or someone else by continuing to stay with him.
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Originally Posted by WhatAboutME
but I feel like I'm cheating myself from the opportunity to ever have children, whether it's with him or someone else by continuing to stay with him.
It's a hard decision to make, and I do miss him and love him, but know in my heart that I would never have the things I want with him.
Take care,
Savana
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
I believe that genetics may play a part in the alcoholism. But as has already mentioned, I believe that there are other underlying things that contribute as well.
Personally, I have 3 children with my AH. I wouldn't trade them for the world. And because of what they have been through, all of my children have commented that they want no part of alcohol. I'm hoping they continue with that thinking.
However, I think I'd be more concerned with having an A that may relapse and the damage that alcohol can bring to a child growing up versus a child's chance of becoming an addict. Using my children as an example, I believe there is a lot of education as well as life experiences that can teach a child/person on the dangers/risks of alcohol. I believe this could possibly be one of the keys to fighting the addiction or preventing it from escalating, etc. However, living with an A will always affect a child regardless if they choose to ever use or not.
Just my opinion.
Personally, I have 3 children with my AH. I wouldn't trade them for the world. And because of what they have been through, all of my children have commented that they want no part of alcohol. I'm hoping they continue with that thinking.
However, I think I'd be more concerned with having an A that may relapse and the damage that alcohol can bring to a child growing up versus a child's chance of becoming an addict. Using my children as an example, I believe there is a lot of education as well as life experiences that can teach a child/person on the dangers/risks of alcohol. I believe this could possibly be one of the keys to fighting the addiction or preventing it from escalating, etc. However, living with an A will always affect a child regardless if they choose to ever use or not.
Just my opinion.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Carrollton, Texas
Posts: 218
NO...not for a moment do I believe it to be genetic
Nowhere...anywhere in my family nor my ex-husbands is there any alcoholic nor drug addictions. If there is anything..it has to be several generations back. I believe Sean was weak...I believe that Sean needed a crutch..a reason to be like everybody else.
I have never gone with the propaganda that this supposed ILLNESS is anything other than what it is to me...a way to lay the blame for it at someone elses doorstep. I have made it very clear to many people that the only genetic defect he got from me and his daddy is that he is left handed. Sorry..this is ALL ON HIM and his lack of moral fortitude.
I have never gone with the propaganda that this supposed ILLNESS is anything other than what it is to me...a way to lay the blame for it at someone elses doorstep. I have made it very clear to many people that the only genetic defect he got from me and his daddy is that he is left handed. Sorry..this is ALL ON HIM and his lack of moral fortitude.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
I have stayed out of this today as I am not feeling very diposed towards a particular alcoholic at the moment.
What I believe from all I have read and heard:
There may be a genetic component, however it is likely to be only a small element and so cannot be the be all and end all explanation.
Sustained drinking can cause physiological changes that lead to the addiction element.
The fact that alcoholism runs in families doesn't mean it is genetic. It is more likely that this behaviour is modelled as a way of coping with life's stresses (and celebrating life's victories).
Alcoholics almost always talk of being apart, of not fitting in, and of having an emotional void. Very often this stems from feeling valued for what they do, not who they are. Drinking allows them to escape these feelings and be part of a crowd. Funnily enough, so does AA.
And one of the (many) reasons why I split up with my ex was the fact that I could not imagine having children with him. In fact, I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle towards him, but that's another matter. I just could not bring a child into an alcoholic home.
What I believe from all I have read and heard:
There may be a genetic component, however it is likely to be only a small element and so cannot be the be all and end all explanation.
Sustained drinking can cause physiological changes that lead to the addiction element.
The fact that alcoholism runs in families doesn't mean it is genetic. It is more likely that this behaviour is modelled as a way of coping with life's stresses (and celebrating life's victories).
Alcoholics almost always talk of being apart, of not fitting in, and of having an emotional void. Very often this stems from feeling valued for what they do, not who they are. Drinking allows them to escape these feelings and be part of a crowd. Funnily enough, so does AA.
And one of the (many) reasons why I split up with my ex was the fact that I could not imagine having children with him. In fact, I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle towards him, but that's another matter. I just could not bring a child into an alcoholic home.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
What I think is genetic is the predisposition towards addictive behavior. I think it is more likely for an alcholics child to be an alcoholic than a non addicts child. Past "More likely" I cant really say.
Reikihelps
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 221
I believe there are strong genetic components. Lots of addiction in our family line.
That doesn't abscond someone from the responsibility of making choices to ignore the addiction and continue to let it run rampant in the life of a family.
Certainly, there are no simple answers. It is clear that the cruelty of addiction destroys. It is also abundantly clear that recovery can heal.
you got me thinking. good thread...
That doesn't abscond someone from the responsibility of making choices to ignore the addiction and continue to let it run rampant in the life of a family.
Certainly, there are no simple answers. It is clear that the cruelty of addiction destroys. It is also abundantly clear that recovery can heal.
you got me thinking. good thread...
Laughter Helps Me
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Twilight Zone
Posts: 9
My abf comes from a long line of it. His Dad was one his whole life (it actually killed him) as are his siblings. His Mom is not and tried her hardest to instilled different values in their life. My nephew is an A. (I did not know this until recently-yesterday as a matter of fact after revealing about abf to my sis) His Grandfather on my sister's husband's side was an A all his life.....it killed him also. My sister and her husband use to drink but mostly at parties on the weekends. At the time I didn't think much of that.....now I do. My nephew has so many problems because of his alcoholism. I also know that I, myself have addictive tendencies, but I do have some control over them and I am not an A. But I think I could be. Maybe that in itself will keep me aware enough NOT to let it become a problem. At least I hope that is the case!
The only thing I do know is that it definitely has seemed to run in families in regards to those I have come to know. Whether that is really genetics or learned behavior is beyond me. I really think it could be totally one or totally the other in certain people. I also think it could be the combination of the two in some. It just depends on the person. Okay.....this whole thing does not answer anything for you! LOL Darn alcohol! I think it just makes us stupid! Even those that don't abuse it! LOL
The only thing I do know is that it definitely has seemed to run in families in regards to those I have come to know. Whether that is really genetics or learned behavior is beyond me. I really think it could be totally one or totally the other in certain people. I also think it could be the combination of the two in some. It just depends on the person. Okay.....this whole thing does not answer anything for you! LOL Darn alcohol! I think it just makes us stupid! Even those that don't abuse it! LOL
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
I am very sure it is genetic, with the amount of drinking that goes on, why is it some cannot become alcoholic??
We inherit the weakness for heart problems, for cancer, for diabetes etc.
In one person those gene's are stronger, in a bro or sister maybe no inherited weakness at all.
We inherit the weakness for heart problems, for cancer, for diabetes etc.
In one person those gene's are stronger, in a bro or sister maybe no inherited weakness at all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Carrollton, Texas
Posts: 218
Ahhh...you have just put in to words Gianna what I was trying to say...("Don't get mad at me because I'm an "A"...it's not my fault.) (....."see, it's not my fault...it's genetic"!!). I believe that it is EXACTLY this that is letting some..not all alcoholics and or drug abusers off the hook. Sean could have said NO at any time. No thanks..not for me. He could have walked away and not taken that first hit...never had that first drink...BUT HE CHOSE TO STAY...okay...so how does that make it "genetic"? To say it's genetic..somehow to me implys that either my ex-husband or myself is at fault...and I refuse to take the blame for Sean's actions..no more than I would take them for Ryan's.
I am all about the fact that people are all free to say yes or no...to stay or go...free will folks..thats what it's all about. I can choose to learn to swim upstream or stay and doggypaddle....
I am all about the fact that people are all free to say yes or no...to stay or go...free will folks..thats what it's all about. I can choose to learn to swim upstream or stay and doggypaddle....
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