Step 10 discussion anyone?
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Step 10 discussion anyone?
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
I love this step. Well, I actually have enjoyed most of them. I am glad that this is progress not perfection, or I'd really be screwed!!
I had been having trouble with constantly looking to see what my fault was in things throughout the day. It was exhausting!! I was told by some members of AA that at least now I was able to see that I may just have a part in my problems and was trying to make them better.
It was like I was going through some type of growth spert. I keep working this step, at least it has calmed down a litttle.
Example:
At work, I saw 3 patients while the other girl saw one. A patient called hurting, so we told her to come right over. When she got there the other therapist looks at me and says, "Are you going to see her." I said, "I guess." and she says, "well I don't know anything about her."
I then decided it was best if I saw her since she was hurting to badly. Then the other therapist LEAVES the clinic to go get money to buy a dog!! That really ripped me off. So, I went and vented to the boss.
Jeesh, talk about a poor me moment. First of all, we have charts, so any qualified therapist can treat our patients by reading the chart. Second, I saw 3 people to her 1. Then she pawns the next patient off on me, so she can get money to buy a DOG during working hours!!!!!!!!
I really felt like it was wrong. But as I thought about it. I don't think it would have bothered me as much, if she would have told ME she was leaving. I felt like I was doing all the work and she had her own agenda and was sneaking behind my back.
Anyway, I went back and apologized to the boss about flying off the handle. He said it wasn't a problem, thanks for telling him about the issue, and he would handle it.
Like I said, it's progress not perfection baby!!
Maybe I'll do better next time!! LOL
Missy
I love this step. Well, I actually have enjoyed most of them. I am glad that this is progress not perfection, or I'd really be screwed!!
I had been having trouble with constantly looking to see what my fault was in things throughout the day. It was exhausting!! I was told by some members of AA that at least now I was able to see that I may just have a part in my problems and was trying to make them better.
It was like I was going through some type of growth spert. I keep working this step, at least it has calmed down a litttle.
Example:
At work, I saw 3 patients while the other girl saw one. A patient called hurting, so we told her to come right over. When she got there the other therapist looks at me and says, "Are you going to see her." I said, "I guess." and she says, "well I don't know anything about her."
I then decided it was best if I saw her since she was hurting to badly. Then the other therapist LEAVES the clinic to go get money to buy a dog!! That really ripped me off. So, I went and vented to the boss.
Jeesh, talk about a poor me moment. First of all, we have charts, so any qualified therapist can treat our patients by reading the chart. Second, I saw 3 people to her 1. Then she pawns the next patient off on me, so she can get money to buy a DOG during working hours!!!!!!!!
I really felt like it was wrong. But as I thought about it. I don't think it would have bothered me as much, if she would have told ME she was leaving. I felt like I was doing all the work and she had her own agenda and was sneaking behind my back.
Anyway, I went back and apologized to the boss about flying off the handle. He said it wasn't a problem, thanks for telling him about the issue, and he would handle it.
Like I said, it's progress not perfection baby!!
Maybe I'll do better next time!! LOL
Missy
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
My wife would vent about that same issue at work then she puts things in perspective... She is a good worker and she can't force others to gain a proper work ethic. So she continues to do what she should and what she gets paid for.
Daily reflection is a great habit. As you said...
I also found I like it. The self improvement feels great and I like looking in the mirror each day.
Daily reflection is a great habit. As you said...
I love this step. Well, ..... I am glad that this is progress not perfection,
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Each night I take that personal inventory, I ask for guidance on my decisions and choices and let it be revealed if I'm missing an amend somewhere. This program has taught me how to say I'm sorry. I'm grateful that I have that ability. I have a clear concious now in that as difficult as those amends may be, reflecting on my own inventory it's the right way to end my day. If someone doesn't take or accept it, that's their issue as I know in my heart I'm doing the very best I can to live a guilt free life and do the right thing.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 1,639
i'm a "spotcheck inventory" kinds guy
it's the things that happen during the day
but
sometimes i do an "easy does it"
to sit in the park
or a prayer for someone in a wheelchair
or maybe, it's time for some gratitude
and make a meeting
it's the things that happen during the day
but
sometimes i do an "easy does it"
to sit in the park
or a prayer for someone in a wheelchair
or maybe, it's time for some gratitude
and make a meeting
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
10. "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
"Continued" means all the time. Not once a year, not on payday. All the time.
That's the way I lived my disease. I was deep in my "stinking thinking" all the time. Now I can be in "healthy thinking" all the time.
"Personal" means _me_. Not somebody else's inventory. That's the way I lived my disease, always thinking about how _I_ was better than everybody else. Now I can think about how _I_ can be better today than I was yesterday.
"Promptly" is like "continued". Not once a year, not on payday. Now. That's the way I lived my disease, promptly forgetting how I hurt others and myself. Now I can promptly see about correcting the thing I mess up.
This step tells me that I have to live my recovery the same way I lived my disease; continuously, focused on improving me, and now.
Mike :-)
"Continued" means all the time. Not once a year, not on payday. All the time.
That's the way I lived my disease. I was deep in my "stinking thinking" all the time. Now I can be in "healthy thinking" all the time.
"Personal" means _me_. Not somebody else's inventory. That's the way I lived my disease, always thinking about how _I_ was better than everybody else. Now I can think about how _I_ can be better today than I was yesterday.
"Promptly" is like "continued". Not once a year, not on payday. Now. That's the way I lived my disease, promptly forgetting how I hurt others and myself. Now I can promptly see about correcting the thing I mess up.
This step tells me that I have to live my recovery the same way I lived my disease; continuously, focused on improving me, and now.
Mike :-)
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
I too do my inventory at night and throughout the day. It's funny to see how easy it is for me to lie without even trying. That is one of the things I am working on.
A boss from the home office called one day and I answered the phone. He asked where the receptionist was and I immediately said she was on the other line. Well, she was in the bathroom. Not a big deal, people pee, but why did have to lie? Habit!?! Maybe I just thought that was something personal that he didn't need to know! I don't know!!!!!!
A boss from the home office called one day and I answered the phone. He asked where the receptionist was and I immediately said she was on the other line. Well, she was in the bathroom. Not a big deal, people pee, but why did have to lie? Habit!?! Maybe I just thought that was something personal that he didn't need to know! I don't know!!!!!!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Originally Posted by Little Missy
A boss from the home office called one day and I answered the phone. He asked where the receptionist was and I immediately said she was on the other line. Well, she was in the bathroom. Not a big deal, people pee, but why did have to lie? Habit!?! Maybe I just thought that was something personal that he didn't need to know! I don't know!!!!!!
You are too funny. Thing is, that is exactly the same sort of thing I would worry about, too! I am currently working on step 10.......well, I am supposed to be working on it. I am not doing so well. Of course, I have been letting my whole program slip, and I hope after my weekend of recovery (see the "celebrating miracles" thread), that will change.I do alot of "spot-checking" as well. But I know I also have to remember to look at the positive things I have done as well. I heard someone in a meeting referring to the 10th step as "taking out the trash." I review my day and find both the good and the bad. I let go of the bad and keep the good, praying I may do at least as well tomorrow.
I am a little brain-dead tonight, so I don't know if I am making any sense. I hope some more people will respond. I am interested in hearing other's takes on this step.
Thanks for the thread!
Hugs--
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Step 10
Yes...I too do a inventory each night. Good and bad.
I think of 10 as returning to the values and concious I had before I was a drunk.
I dislike doing amends ergo I try to be very aware of my actions and words as I go thru the day.
The Golden Rule Step is how I consider it1
I think of 10 as returning to the values and concious I had before I was a drunk.
I dislike doing amends ergo I try to be very aware of my actions and words as I go thru the day.
The Golden Rule Step is how I consider it1
Grateful recovering alcoholic
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Blissfield, MI
Posts: 814
I am very conscious of step 10 when I talk with people I don't care for too much (ex-husband....husband's family....). I need to be aware that I am treating others as I would like to be treated. There are times when I am unaware that I hurt someone. I really try hard to be aware. There are times when something comes out of my mouth and after it has I feel it was the wrong thing to say...then I apologize. Most of the time, it bothered me way more than it bothered them!!
I really try hard to remember what my dad taught me growing up..."if you don't have anything nice to say; keep your mouth shut.". This really works well with my ex!!! I really hate apologizing - and I add another thing. I don't apologize unless I really mean it. Saying you are sorry is easy - changing and saying your sorry is another....
Jen
I really try hard to remember what my dad taught me growing up..."if you don't have anything nice to say; keep your mouth shut.". This really works well with my ex!!! I really hate apologizing - and I add another thing. I don't apologize unless I really mean it. Saying you are sorry is easy - changing and saying your sorry is another....
Jen
Guest
Posts: n/a
When I first came into the program and started the steps, I got to #10 and then began to take responsibilty for everything, I swung to the extreme other side. I was apologizing to everybody for just about everything. I would examin, and re-examin everything I did.
There were plenty of folks who had no idea what I was apologizing for...
Good topic Missy
There were plenty of folks who had no idea what I was apologizing for...
Good topic Missy
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
I do it also
If I'm aware of it during the day, probably from an event.lol
I check myself and my motives first.
We take shows or bath our bodies every night to clean ourselve
of the daily grime and sweat.This way it dosen't get carry over
into tomorrow.
This was suggest to me.
I actually do my 10th while taking my shower.
Something about the bath room....I use to pray on the toilet when
I got clean and sober or take a five from my two little girls.
Anyhow, that washing of my soul, mind, emotions while bathing.
Forgive myself and everybody for the dailey even.
Let go of everything and wacth it disappear
Bless everything and everybody for the lesson learned, or
issues pionted out that I needed to work on.
The water repersents love, purity, god for me.
I'm surrounded & soke by it, I get cleans by it, and there
and abondant flow of it.
I'm very clam and peaceful after and I sleep like a baby.
If I'm aware of it during the day, probably from an event.lol
I check myself and my motives first.
We take shows or bath our bodies every night to clean ourselve
of the daily grime and sweat.This way it dosen't get carry over
into tomorrow.
This was suggest to me.
I actually do my 10th while taking my shower.
Something about the bath room....I use to pray on the toilet when
I got clean and sober or take a five from my two little girls.
Anyhow, that washing of my soul, mind, emotions while bathing.
Forgive myself and everybody for the dailey even.
Let go of everything and wacth it disappear
Bless everything and everybody for the lesson learned, or
issues pionted out that I needed to work on.
The water repersents love, purity, god for me.
I'm surrounded & soke by it, I get cleans by it, and there
and abondant flow of it.
I'm very clam and peaceful after and I sleep like a baby.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
Unfortunately, it isn't something I keep in the forefront of my mind. I usually have to start stressing pretty firm before I think "hey dummy, there's instructions to follow here". Oh well, it gives me something to work on, to write about at night. Progress not perfection. To someone like me that can be an out if I'm not careful.
Grateful recovering alcoholic
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Blissfield, MI
Posts: 814
I was able to do a thorough step 10 today. Had to deal with my ex-husband and found that things went really well. I made sure I thought before I spoke. Things went well - no hurt or hard feelings. Hmmm....is this program a miracle or what?!?!?!
Jen
Jen
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
Had an experience like that with my ex this past summer. Probs picking up the kids, the old tapes kicked in but I held my tongue. So called problems cleared away like mist in the morning sun, I even got along well with her! Unprecedented......
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
After an AA meeting the other night, a man (who didn't attend the meeting) came up to me and wanted me to sign his paper that here was there. Said he thought the meeting was a 9.
Before I knew it I started to tell him I wasn't allowed to sign them. LOL Then I switched gears and said I couldn't sign it because he didn't attend the meeting. Sorry you were mistaken on the time, but you have to be there and hear what others have to share. Then gave him the time and the place of the next meeting!!
UGH to this lieing that comes out before I know it!!
Who would have thought I was such a little lier and sooo good at it!! hehe
Missy
Before I knew it I started to tell him I wasn't allowed to sign them. LOL Then I switched gears and said I couldn't sign it because he didn't attend the meeting. Sorry you were mistaken on the time, but you have to be there and hear what others have to share. Then gave him the time and the place of the next meeting!!
UGH to this lieing that comes out before I know it!!
Who would have thought I was such a little lier and sooo good at it!! hehe
Missy
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