Father is a Cocaine Addict - Need Help
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 1
Father is a Cocaine Addict - Need Help
I have a VERY long story, but I'll give you the very condensed version and can fill in details as you need or want them. I just need some thoughts/help/advice for my family right now.
My name is Becky and I'm a 26 year old married mother of 3 beautiful boys. I have three siblings ages 25 down to 19. My mom has been married to my step-father for almost 20 years. He is the one with the cocaine addiction, above other things, and has had a problem for several years, although it has just really come to our attention over the last 4 months or so.
My father is an engineer for one of the Big 3 automakers and lives in a big city so that he can work. He has always commuted home on weeks (three hours away from work) to be with our family.
In the last four months, our world has come crashing down. My father has gotten himself into serious trouble with his addiction from spending ALL the money that he earns on drugs, not paying any of the household bills, and he even has rented out several vehicles (some not even his) in exchange for more drugs. He had been staying recently with a relative (to save money on rent), and earlier this week police raided the house because they feel it is now a drug house (which it is not) because my dad is living there.
My father almost lost his job, but committed to going to rehabilitation where he spent 9 days. He promised all of us he was going to beat his addiction and promised us he would never return to drugs again. As soon as he left rehabiliation, THE SAME DAY, he went back to the drug houses he used to frequent. His employer made him submit to a drug test and he failed. He is still lying to my mother, saying that the test must be wrong.
All of us are just so beside ourselves. We just don't know what to do. Is there anything we can do to help our dad? What can we do for our mother who is also dying over all of this? She is left with all sorts of bills she cannot pay, my father is on the brink of losing his job for good and going to jail, the relatives my dad was staying with are possibly going to jail over things they had NO control over or knowledge of, my siblings and I are just sick over all of this.
Can someone please offer some insight to get my family through this? How in the world can we help my dad? We want so bad for him to love us and want him to choose our family over drugs, but he repeatedly keeps making choices to go back to "his good friends" at the cocaine houses he frequents. Please help.
My name is Becky and I'm a 26 year old married mother of 3 beautiful boys. I have three siblings ages 25 down to 19. My mom has been married to my step-father for almost 20 years. He is the one with the cocaine addiction, above other things, and has had a problem for several years, although it has just really come to our attention over the last 4 months or so.
My father is an engineer for one of the Big 3 automakers and lives in a big city so that he can work. He has always commuted home on weeks (three hours away from work) to be with our family.
In the last four months, our world has come crashing down. My father has gotten himself into serious trouble with his addiction from spending ALL the money that he earns on drugs, not paying any of the household bills, and he even has rented out several vehicles (some not even his) in exchange for more drugs. He had been staying recently with a relative (to save money on rent), and earlier this week police raided the house because they feel it is now a drug house (which it is not) because my dad is living there.
My father almost lost his job, but committed to going to rehabilitation where he spent 9 days. He promised all of us he was going to beat his addiction and promised us he would never return to drugs again. As soon as he left rehabiliation, THE SAME DAY, he went back to the drug houses he used to frequent. His employer made him submit to a drug test and he failed. He is still lying to my mother, saying that the test must be wrong.
All of us are just so beside ourselves. We just don't know what to do. Is there anything we can do to help our dad? What can we do for our mother who is also dying over all of this? She is left with all sorts of bills she cannot pay, my father is on the brink of losing his job for good and going to jail, the relatives my dad was staying with are possibly going to jail over things they had NO control over or knowledge of, my siblings and I are just sick over all of this.
Can someone please offer some insight to get my family through this? How in the world can we help my dad? We want so bad for him to love us and want him to choose our family over drugs, but he repeatedly keeps making choices to go back to "his good friends" at the cocaine houses he frequents. Please help.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Hello Becky and welcome to SR.
Sorry that you are going through this. The truth of things... only your father can do things for himself. We can't stop him. he needs to want to stop himself.
Look on the Nar Anon thread and read the sticky posts there. They may give you much info to help you understand this a little better.
Sorry that you are going through this. The truth of things... only your father can do things for himself. We can't stop him. he needs to want to stop himself.
Look on the Nar Anon thread and read the sticky posts there. They may give you much info to help you understand this a little better.
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