Not a clue here...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Peidmont ND
Posts: 3
Not a clue here...
I am hoping someone can help me with this...
My husband was secretly buying hydrocodone online through his business, until he was caught and began using our personal account. I was nervous about him buying it online and not telling his doctor (he is on quite a few medications and I was worried about the drug interaction), so we went to his doctor for an alternative. My husband swore he would drop the Hydrocodone once the doctor gave him something. Now he is on Zoloft and still taking the Hydrocodone. He can't stop. He has promised to stop and lied to me many times, and I just found out he is even buying it online under MY name, since there are restrictions on the amount you can order. He promises to tell the doctor about buying the Hydrocodone for the last 2 years when we go to the the next visit, but he has ordered more under both of our names. I know this would be tough for him to overcome and want to be supportive. I am not sure how to do that. He acknowledges that is addicted and says he wants to quit. He just wants to wait until "insert latest stressful situation here" is out of the way and over with. I am worried because he was just lying to family and friends before, but now he is lying to me. Besides ordering it with my name, he is using someone else's charge account and paying them cash. Do you have any suggestions for me at all?
My husband was secretly buying hydrocodone online through his business, until he was caught and began using our personal account. I was nervous about him buying it online and not telling his doctor (he is on quite a few medications and I was worried about the drug interaction), so we went to his doctor for an alternative. My husband swore he would drop the Hydrocodone once the doctor gave him something. Now he is on Zoloft and still taking the Hydrocodone. He can't stop. He has promised to stop and lied to me many times, and I just found out he is even buying it online under MY name, since there are restrictions on the amount you can order. He promises to tell the doctor about buying the Hydrocodone for the last 2 years when we go to the the next visit, but he has ordered more under both of our names. I know this would be tough for him to overcome and want to be supportive. I am not sure how to do that. He acknowledges that is addicted and says he wants to quit. He just wants to wait until "insert latest stressful situation here" is out of the way and over with. I am worried because he was just lying to family and friends before, but now he is lying to me. Besides ordering it with my name, he is using someone else's charge account and paying them cash. Do you have any suggestions for me at all?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,522
Hi Kristen,
Welcome and I'm sorry for your situation.
There is probably not much you can do to change your husband's behaviour so you should take care of yourself. If you like, you can check out the NarAnon forum on this board where you'll find other people in similar situations.
Welcome and I'm sorry for your situation.
There is probably not much you can do to change your husband's behaviour so you should take care of yourself. If you like, you can check out the NarAnon forum on this board where you'll find other people in similar situations.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((kristen))))
Welcome to Sober Recovery! I hope that you will stick around and read as many post as you can. I would like to also reckomend that you hop over to the freinds and family board and get some support for yourself.
I am sure you are very worried about your H's behavior. Please protect your name and bank accounts he doesn't have a right to use your name for his illegal activity and if some how he got caught using your name to order drugs you could end up in trouble. Because you are still responsible for keeping your name yours. Take care!!
Welcome to Sober Recovery! I hope that you will stick around and read as many post as you can. I would like to also reckomend that you hop over to the freinds and family board and get some support for yourself.
I am sure you are very worried about your H's behavior. Please protect your name and bank accounts he doesn't have a right to use your name for his illegal activity and if some how he got caught using your name to order drugs you could end up in trouble. Because you are still responsible for keeping your name yours. Take care!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Peidmont ND
Posts: 3
Thanks... I feel like I am coming off as the overbearing gripey wife when all I want to do is be there for him and help him. If I let him know what I know, he will accuse me of not trusting him and checking up on him, but when it comes down to it, he gives me a reason to. I will check out that site -- thanks!
You're never alone!!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,191
Hi Kristen,
Oh my, you are cetainly NOT coming off as an over bearing WIFE!! No way...
Yes, we understand all you want is what's best for him, but I promise you, whats best for him, is definately not what he's doing now. If he gets caught, he will get in trouble, but the sad truth could be that not only you, but ALSO, this other person, the one who's credit card he uses, that person could also be in much trouble.
That's sad. It's all sad, I know, I am an addict, clean, over 5 1/2 months. A big accomplishment for me. It's a very hard disease to admit to, and get help for...
But that's what we all do in the end, when we can't take anymore..
In the end, we have hurt everyone around us, and done a whole lot of destruction normally, to our lives, as well, as to most that love us. We steal, we cheat, and we lie to get the drugs... Not because we necessarily want to, because thats what an addict does, it's a part of being an addict,,,,, Hard life.
There is an excellent post that if someone didn't already guide you to, I'd like to, (and of course if you haven't already read, if you've been to the nar-anon board and read already, which I do recommend for you to go to the nar-anon board and read, and post, they are the family members that live with the addicts, or friends of the addicts that deal everyday with people like us, so PLEASE, please for your own good, go there and get some support and help for yourself
) Here is the thread that would be really great for you to read...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=39699
Please, check it out, I believe it is one of the most helpful threadds on this site,.
Not always words that one wants to hear, but definately true..
Again, please check out the Nar anon forum, you'll recieve much support there too.
No one will think you are in the least bit over bearing, and no one does here either...
Hang in there, I would defnately get some help. Things are not going well as it is now, to many people are left going down with your husband, when all you really want to do is help him, but helping him find help, is not the same as enabling him to continue his drug use......
Love, Becky
Oh my, you are cetainly NOT coming off as an over bearing WIFE!! No way...
Yes, we understand all you want is what's best for him, but I promise you, whats best for him, is definately not what he's doing now. If he gets caught, he will get in trouble, but the sad truth could be that not only you, but ALSO, this other person, the one who's credit card he uses, that person could also be in much trouble.
That's sad. It's all sad, I know, I am an addict, clean, over 5 1/2 months. A big accomplishment for me. It's a very hard disease to admit to, and get help for...
But that's what we all do in the end, when we can't take anymore..
In the end, we have hurt everyone around us, and done a whole lot of destruction normally, to our lives, as well, as to most that love us. We steal, we cheat, and we lie to get the drugs... Not because we necessarily want to, because thats what an addict does, it's a part of being an addict,,,,, Hard life.
There is an excellent post that if someone didn't already guide you to, I'd like to, (and of course if you haven't already read, if you've been to the nar-anon board and read already, which I do recommend for you to go to the nar-anon board and read, and post, they are the family members that live with the addicts, or friends of the addicts that deal everyday with people like us, so PLEASE, please for your own good, go there and get some support and help for yourself
) Here is the thread that would be really great for you to read...http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=39699
Please, check it out, I believe it is one of the most helpful threadds on this site,.
Not always words that one wants to hear, but definately true..
Again, please check out the Nar anon forum, you'll recieve much support there too.
No one will think you are in the least bit over bearing, and no one does here either...
Hang in there, I would defnately get some help. Things are not going well as it is now, to many people are left going down with your husband, when all you really want to do is help him, but helping him find help, is not the same as enabling him to continue his drug use......
Love, Becky
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,139
Welcome Kristen,
As everyone here has told you, there really isn't much you can do to help your hubby until he decides on his own that he wants to quit using! I know this because I lived this and towards the end of my addiction to Vicoden, was also ordering Hydros from the onlines. It is a scary thing because for 1} It is illegal even though they set you up with someone who says they are a "doctor" and believe me, the DEA IS keeping close tabs on these operations and the people who buy from them!...2} The medications they sell are made up in bulk somewhere by Lord only knows who and have Lord only knows what in them!...3} The onlines will continue to send out emails and often send shipments and go ahead and charge them to the account.....I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
Of course, if your hubby is like I was, he probably could care less about ANY of that as long as he gets his Hydros! It is a sad, sick way to live and what started out so "innocently" for me turned into a nightmare very quickly as I escalated up to anywhere between 20-25 pills a day!!
I have a thread on this forum somewhere although it seems to have drifted back several pages but you can find it by clicking on my name and going to "threads posted"...It is from the beginning when I first came here looking for help/support/advice until my first year of recovery! I ended up going into a 4-day Rehab with the support of my loving hubby and I am doing fine now!{A year and 2-months clean and soo thankful!! } However, I did put a huge dent in our credit card bill but we are coping with that and have since gotten all our CC numbers changed along with email addys. The onlines are sneeky! Be smart and protect yourself!
Wishing you strength!!
Jane
As everyone here has told you, there really isn't much you can do to help your hubby until he decides on his own that he wants to quit using! I know this because I lived this and towards the end of my addiction to Vicoden, was also ordering Hydros from the onlines. It is a scary thing because for 1} It is illegal even though they set you up with someone who says they are a "doctor" and believe me, the DEA IS keeping close tabs on these operations and the people who buy from them!...2} The medications they sell are made up in bulk somewhere by Lord only knows who and have Lord only knows what in them!...3} The onlines will continue to send out emails and often send shipments and go ahead and charge them to the account.....I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
Of course, if your hubby is like I was, he probably could care less about ANY of that as long as he gets his Hydros! It is a sad, sick way to live and what started out so "innocently" for me turned into a nightmare very quickly as I escalated up to anywhere between 20-25 pills a day!!
I have a thread on this forum somewhere although it seems to have drifted back several pages but you can find it by clicking on my name and going to "threads posted"...It is from the beginning when I first came here looking for help/support/advice until my first year of recovery! I ended up going into a 4-day Rehab with the support of my loving hubby and I am doing fine now!{A year and 2-months clean and soo thankful!!
} However, I did put a huge dent in our credit card bill but we are coping with that and have since gotten all our CC numbers changed along with email addys. The onlines are sneeky! Be smart and protect yourself! Wishing you strength!!
Jane
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by kristenleigh
He acknowledges that is addicted and says he wants to quit. He just wants to wait until "insert latest stressful situation here" is out of the way and over with. I am worried because he was just lying to family and friends before, but now he is lying to me.
Yes.........(and very well put) It is the progression of the disease. My H now lies to me all the time; esp. about this subject; it goes with the disease. NEVER would I have thought this could/would happen. It has.
Glad you are getting yourself some help, from people here who understand addiction. All the "regular rules" of living, relating etc are "Off" when addiction is involved. JMO Take care! (of you!!)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Peidmont ND
Posts: 3
Thank you.
You are a very understanding and helpful group. Thank you for your posts. It is nice to know that it isn't my fault here. I will find a way to confront him with what I have found, without giving him an opportunity to turn it around on me (he is good at that). This is all I can do. As you all said, I can't make him do anything. He has to want it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: home sweet home
Posts: 302
Hi, I am mendingheart. My abf has the same addiction, and is now hydro free for two months. We have tried detox, and it soon lead to relapse. I know the pain you feel, but the truth is , your struggle is not his. Your struggle is just beginning. Work the Naranon program if you can find one, and take care of you. YOu will learn so much about yourself, and how to manage an unmanageable situation.
You may want to look into the Suboxone program. It had been successful for some on here. My thoughts are with you.
You may want to look into the Suboxone program. It had been successful for some on here. My thoughts are with you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Greentree, PA
Posts: 276
Hi, Kristen!
I am an addict, and the online pharmacies were my downfall. I was able to (sort-of) control my using till I found (much to my delight!) an unlimited supply. Five years later I lost almost everything I had....but worst of all I lost my self.
Getting clean was hard, and staying clean is the hardest thing I've ever done.... You've had good advice above...about Nar Anon. I wish that my family would have gone to Nar Anon....but they refused, they just wanted me to get better and get it over with. That made it harder for me, because they had no knowledge about addiction. I hope you do go, and that you continue to take care of You. Best of luck, to both of you.
Ashley
I am an addict, and the online pharmacies were my downfall. I was able to (sort-of) control my using till I found (much to my delight!) an unlimited supply. Five years later I lost almost everything I had....but worst of all I lost my self.
Getting clean was hard, and staying clean is the hardest thing I've ever done.... You've had good advice above...about Nar Anon. I wish that my family would have gone to Nar Anon....but they refused, they just wanted me to get better and get it over with. That made it harder for me, because they had no knowledge about addiction. I hope you do go, and that you continue to take care of You. Best of luck, to both of you.
Ashley
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: South Florida
Posts: 7
feel your pain
Dear Kristin,
I hate to tell you, but as an opiate addict myself you have quite an uphill battle on your hands. The on -line pharmacies are like the "devil"
If it weren't for them , I never would have had the access I had to
prescription painkillers. Once I discovered I could order vicodin and lortab and soma on line, I was off to the races. I had several websites going at
once. Not only did it destroy my relationship of two and a half years,
I had to take three months off from work to go into rehab.
I relapsed twice during treatment, as soon as I got out.
Also getting multiple scrips from multiple websites is ILLEGAL.
If he gets caught -- its is a federal crime.
The thing that has helped me is suboxone -- a relatively new drug which
not only helps cut the cravings but also blocks the opiate receptors so
the person can't get high. I just started it again.
But it has to be used in conjuction with working a 12-step program.
Going to meetings, working the steps, etc.
Sounds like you need to convince him to go to detox or at least get to an NA meeting,, in the meantime .. the advice about NarAnon is good to take care of yourself cuz until *he* wants help, there's not a damn thing you can do. Good Luck and be good to yourself. Serenity
I hate to tell you, but as an opiate addict myself you have quite an uphill battle on your hands. The on -line pharmacies are like the "devil"
If it weren't for them , I never would have had the access I had to
prescription painkillers. Once I discovered I could order vicodin and lortab and soma on line, I was off to the races. I had several websites going at
once. Not only did it destroy my relationship of two and a half years,
I had to take three months off from work to go into rehab.
I relapsed twice during treatment, as soon as I got out.
Also getting multiple scrips from multiple websites is ILLEGAL.
If he gets caught -- its is a federal crime.
The thing that has helped me is suboxone -- a relatively new drug which
not only helps cut the cravings but also blocks the opiate receptors so
the person can't get high. I just started it again.
But it has to be used in conjuction with working a 12-step program.
Going to meetings, working the steps, etc.
Sounds like you need to convince him to go to detox or at least get to an NA meeting,, in the meantime .. the advice about NarAnon is good to take care of yourself cuz until *he* wants help, there's not a damn thing you can do. Good Luck and be good to yourself. Serenity
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