mom of a 12 year old bi-polar young man
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mom of a 12 year old bi-polar young man
My son inherited my manic depression and it manifested itself in full bloom when he was about 10 1/2--about 18 months ago. He and his doctor and counselor and our family are slowly getting everything back into balance. He has grown heavy because of the medication and also grown tall because of several growth spurts. He sleeps for hours a day and, though he is among the tallest and biggest in his grade, refuses to go to school. During the last two school years he was teased--no, verbally, mentally, and physically tortured--to the point where he came home bursting with the desire to kill his tormentors. He would defend others who were being bullied, only to see them turn on him and laugh at him later on. The school's "no tolerance" policy ment that he was not allowed to defend himself and teachers, of course, never witnessed or heard the abuse directly--only saw the marks afterward.
Anyway. A year and a half later, my son is now looking for a friend to talk to. He longs for someone to talk with who has gone through some of the same depressed feelings of worthlessness and the same manic swings of distructive rage. He is fairly stable, though under heavy meds that still change depending on his growth patterns.
Is there a chat room or a group out there where he could talk to other youngsters? His Scout leaders try to encourage him to be friends with the others his age, but he admits to me that not even the adults understand what he has gone through--and the kids understand even less. Old friends in the neighborhood try, but it is a real effort to spend time with my son on a bad day.
He is 12, good at school and learning, likes swimming, playing basketball and does Kung Fu--avoids reading, but loves for me to read to him. He is usually soft spoken and very observant. He knows a lot about fighting planes and tanks. He handles his rosy boa constrictor like a pro and helps me with Fred, our iguana. He did Pokemon cards--I don't know if he still does.
I think he's good company. We like to eat out together for lunch. He thinks that he would like to consider a career as a chef. At one of our favorite restaurants, the head chef has become a good friend and has taken my son on several tours of the kitchens. He relates much better to adults than to people his own age--but longs for a "best friend" his own age.
Anyway. A year and a half later, my son is now looking for a friend to talk to. He longs for someone to talk with who has gone through some of the same depressed feelings of worthlessness and the same manic swings of distructive rage. He is fairly stable, though under heavy meds that still change depending on his growth patterns.
Is there a chat room or a group out there where he could talk to other youngsters? His Scout leaders try to encourage him to be friends with the others his age, but he admits to me that not even the adults understand what he has gone through--and the kids understand even less. Old friends in the neighborhood try, but it is a real effort to spend time with my son on a bad day.
He is 12, good at school and learning, likes swimming, playing basketball and does Kung Fu--avoids reading, but loves for me to read to him. He is usually soft spoken and very observant. He knows a lot about fighting planes and tanks. He handles his rosy boa constrictor like a pro and helps me with Fred, our iguana. He did Pokemon cards--I don't know if he still does.
I think he's good company. We like to eat out together for lunch. He thinks that he would like to consider a career as a chef. At one of our favorite restaurants, the head chef has become a good friend and has taken my son on several tours of the kitchens. He relates much better to adults than to people his own age--but longs for a "best friend" his own age.
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Mom -
Wow, that's alot to deal with, for himself and you. I am 46 now, but when I was a teenager I went through a difficult bout with depression, and also had to endure teasing and abuse at the hands of my classmates. I too refused to go to school, and also related better to adults than kids my own age. I was lucky in that I did have some adult friends that believed in me and encouraged me and helped me deal with the difficulties of my adolescent years. I hope you are able to find some support for son, and for yourself.
Julia
Wow, that's alot to deal with, for himself and you. I am 46 now, but when I was a teenager I went through a difficult bout with depression, and also had to endure teasing and abuse at the hands of my classmates. I too refused to go to school, and also related better to adults than kids my own age. I was lucky in that I did have some adult friends that believed in me and encouraged me and helped me deal with the difficulties of my adolescent years. I hope you are able to find some support for son, and for yourself.
Julia
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 28
I agree, that is a tremendous burden for both you and your son to carry. It's so very sad to see how cruel kids can be sometimes.
I don't know any children your son's age directly, but I run my own message forums on HelpDepression.com where we've had at least one person post who admitted to being 13 (many young people won't post their age). They go by "ssnarik", and my guess would be that if the two of them started talking, it would help both tremendously.
You can contact them through their last post here: http://www.helpdepression.com/ubb/Fo...ML/000057.html
Hope this helps.
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Chad Colbert
[email protected]
http://www.helpdepression.com/
I don't know any children your son's age directly, but I run my own message forums on HelpDepression.com where we've had at least one person post who admitted to being 13 (many young people won't post their age). They go by "ssnarik", and my guess would be that if the two of them started talking, it would help both tremendously.
You can contact them through their last post here: http://www.helpdepression.com/ubb/Fo...ML/000057.html
Hope this helps.
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Chad Colbert
[email protected]
http://www.helpdepression.com/
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((((hugs Mom))))
You are really great to try to find help for him. My son is 9. Is going through alot of what you descibe. I don't know any place for him to go to but I do know a place for you and where you might find someone for him.
It's www.conductdisorders.com . It has a forum like this one, articles on all kinds of help and desciptions both for parents and teachers. It's a great place, I have found ALOT of help there. Good luck and keep coming back. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of him.
E-mail me anytime you need to talk. I don't know much but I do know how to listen and I'm raising a "Special kid" too.
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keeping sober 1day@x
[This message has been edited by sdr (edited October 04, 2001).]
You are really great to try to find help for him. My son is 9. Is going through alot of what you descibe. I don't know any place for him to go to but I do know a place for you and where you might find someone for him.
It's www.conductdisorders.com . It has a forum like this one, articles on all kinds of help and desciptions both for parents and teachers. It's a great place, I have found ALOT of help there. Good luck and keep coming back. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of him.
E-mail me anytime you need to talk. I don't know much but I do know how to listen and I'm raising a "Special kid" too.
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keeping sober 1day@x
[This message has been edited by sdr (edited October 04, 2001).]
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