Girlfriend

I've got to go to court next week to show evidence on the temporary protection order against xabf to make it permanent.

I have that evidence. Through phone messages and cell texts that I have and police reports.

The magistrate told me that I should talk to a lawyer and bring one with me to court. Xabf can be there....IF he wants to protest the permanent protection order and bring whomever with him. I wouldn't think that he'd want to protest it, in fact I doubt that he will.

But, my first question is : Should I get a lawyer?

For the second question .....on the temporary, it says that he cannot have contact with me and needs to stay atleast 150 ft away from my home.

Can he legally contact me in anyway? Through his counselor or a family member?

Question 3: How would I void the permanent protection order in anyway? I've talked to his probation officer this last weekend because she called me. Isn't it just if I contact him myself by either phone calls or email or in person?


Thank you in advance!

walkingtheline

I don't know a thing about CO law and restraining orders, but I do have this link for you:
Colorado Restraining Order info

In CA I did not need an attorney. I was able to hand over his "I'm sorry" notes in which he admitted his behavior. He is NOT allowed to contact me in any manner which is why his sponsor called and asked about the letter.

My copy of the restraining order says I am NOT restrained. I could, if I were nuts, call him, go see him...whatever.

I hope this link helps answer at least some of your questions! Good luck!

Girlfriend

Thanks so much for all of your advice. Bless your hearts!

I contacted my lawyer and this is what he said:

I asked..."Do I need a lawyer with me in court? He only has to be there if he wants to protest the protection order."

Lawyer: "You do not need a lawyer, however, you do have the burden of proving your case. You need to show that you are in immediate fear for your safety and the that the threat is likely to continue. These are the two main factors. You may actually be better off on your own, as the court is typically more sympathetic to unrepresented parties. If he does not show up, the court will make the protection order permanent. He could always petition the court to have a hearing if he misses this return date, but that is up to the Judge and he would have to demonstrate good cause or excusable neglect."

(me) "Can he still contact me through second parties such as alcohol counselors and/or family?"

Lawyer:"He should not contact you in any manner whatsoever, although it is technically not a violation of the order for him to contact you via third party, unless the order specifically prohibits it. If this is a problem, you can ask the court to make this a provision of the PPO."

(me) "I break the PPO if I talk or contact him directly by either in person, phone, email, mail...etc. , correct? What if I see him out in public? What should I do then?"

Lawyer: " This is a common misconception. You do not actually break the PPO if you contact him, but it would give him good grounds to have the restraining removed if you are contacting him. For example, it would be hard for the court to believe you are in fear of him if you are calling him. If you see him in public, just avoid him as quickly as you can. Neither of you will violate the order if it is a happenstance meeting, but if you start running into him on a regular basis, he may be doing something to make that happen, so you should then report it."

Thank you so much for the information link, walkingtheline! i know that if he's there in the court room next week wanting to contest the PPO and he brings his family or a new gf or whatever, I will feel uncomfortable. I should bring along a BIG, BRUTE guy friend (or gal friend, huh? Just in case.......lol......I'm j/k.

It would be hard to see him again right now. I don't think I'd look at him at all and would just completely ignore him being there.

((hugs))

Live

My ex would always bring an over-dressed woman with him. I don't think bringing a man with you is a very good idea. I brought my grown daughter and baby grandson.
I think a family member makes a better impression.

wolflet

i do not have any pesonal experience in this but i do know that Safe House can give you a good run down on the ins & outs or give you someone to talk to besides us....on a pesonal level take this all seriously....if you are afraid , then listen to yourself...as addicts we have learned not to trust our inner voices...you are many years clean, but still i hear echos ....trust your instincts. you may still care about him, but the saying of "get as far away as I"can is very important to listen to......f*@#* the drama...we CAN live drame free

my heart goes out to you...take what ever means you feel needed to stay safe, sane & sober....(not that you seem in danger of not being sober).....sisters are with you.