fishyfishy

Hiya all. I am just over a month sober now and proud. But my family are really annoying me. I was in town with my mum yesterday and we passed my fave pub, i said in a jokie way "If i could get of with it, i would go and drink the whole pub dry!" she turned serious and said "Dont be so silly Bonnie, you sound like an alcholic" so i said "Well mum, i do go to AA" she went on to say that i am not an alcholic and i just have a little problem handling my drink. This has got to me so much! I am in a proccess of finding out who i am at the moment and i am going though a massive change. I do not need people telling me what i am and what i am not. You would think she would be proud but clearly not... i just need a little support just now but i dont think they want to admit that there little girl has big problems. Perhaps they may feel some failure on there part, even though they totally shouldnt. I just feel that they are judging me saying "whats got into bonnie latly? i think that shes been brainwashed!" But this is the problem, i AM scared of this because as a mentioned before, i am going through a massive change and my head is in a bit of a pickle.


Thanks for letting me rant, anyone else had the same problem?

CarolD

Bonnie...I remember how my parents refused to acknowledge my brothers and my alcoholism. When we said anything about AA they were emvarassed. how could we need those meetings?


We learned to just get our support and understabding from those in recovery. Made visits at home much smoother.


Glad to see you are doing so well..

Cap3

Hey FF,im hearing you.Been there too.And came to realize that im not who others think that i am.I am who...i..say/know that i am..My family gave me no encouragement,in the beginning of my recovery.But as time went on,and they benifeted by the changes in me.They came around to accepting who i am..and in what im doing for my recovery...Read somewhere,s that if you can have peace and harmony ,with,family members,the rest of the world and the folks in it are easy..smile...

fishyfishy

Thanks carol. Yes i think it is the meetings that bother her. I think she is proud of me for not drinking but doesnt think it is nessesary to be calling myself an alcholic and going to AA. What she doesnt realise though, is that if i wasnt going to AA, i would be drunk. I cant do it on my own. Another thing, it took ALOT for me to finally admit to myself and others that i have a problem, but im still waiting for AA to expose me as some kind of fake Alcholic because i was never really a daily drinker. So the last thing i need is people telling me im not an alcholic because my head is still trying to suss who i am out at the moment. Im terrified of drinking again, i DONT want to (but i do, if you know what i mean) and the last thing i need is to have it encouraged by my loved ones. Another thing that happened today was my best friend called me asking if i was going to her birthday party tommorrow. I HAD to say no, i knew there will be to much drink there. Then she went on to say that if i didnt want to drink then why dont i just "Take some speed?" em...i dont think so! Why cant everyone just leave me alone and be happy for me that im determined to make something good of my life?!?


Ohhhhh, my head is done in!!!

Thanks again, bonnie,xxxx

quercusalba

Good for you, Fishy, on your one month-plus point! That's fantastic.

I had some problems at first, too, getting people to understand that I was having a problem with alcohol. Especially with close family - maybe parents in particular - they don't want to know that there may be a scary, serious problem with someone they love so much. Unfortunately, I did manage to prove to family and friends that I had a problem by behaving like an idiot one (or two or three...) too many times, and now no one doubts my issues with alcohol. You don't have to do things that way, though - like Carol said, try to get the support you need from those in recovery, or from other friends and family who are willing to listen to what you have to say. You're doing a very difficult, very important thing in gaining sobriety - you should be proud of yourself, and do whatever you need to do to support that. Your mom loves you and maybe she's a little frightened. Eventually, people do tend to come around, once you've been consistent in your behavior for long enough.

Wishing you strength and happiness,
anne

fishyfishy

Thanks, i know they probebly will come round to the idea eventually They are all heavy drinkers aswell so i think that might have something to do with this attatude. Maybe they dont want to admit there baby is an alcholic incase it says something about them? oh i dunno... Im sure and i hope they will see the benifits soon

fishyfishy

Thank you for your lovely warm post. This is the thing though, before i moved out of home and had my own daughter, i used to come home every night and give my mum all the abuse under the sun. She has witnessed the height of my alcholisim. But there were other things going on in my life back then so i think she just put the fact i was drinking so much down to that, not alcholisim. Maybe because she doesnt see it with her own eyes anymore, she thinks that that behaviour was a thing of the past? but what she doesnt see is that im not better at all, i was giving the abuse i gave her to my bf.


Thanks again for your lovely post

CarolD

On my 1st year AA anniversary...my ex lover came over with roses candy and a bottle of Scotch! Duh!

My sober date is April and I had a heckva time not going to the apartment pool that summer. And I quit playing cards with neighbors as well.

Too much drinking going on for me. And I hated not partying.

Now I can play cards and dance and swim and ???
I have new sover friends to share with.
Parties are better if you remember them!