jillson

I have read alot about diet/excercise/light to help with
the symptoms of bi-polar. I am currently working out,
started 2 months ago, areobic and strength training.

I try to eat healthy, I am still trying to give up pop and
I like a candy bar here and there.
What could I be doing diffrent?

I take lithium, 900mg.. I will do ANYTHING to
feel good all the time.
Thanks for any advice.

pedagogue

Like much anything, consistancy is key.

As for nuitritional suggestions (I am hesitant to say 'diet', because this a long-term change in your eating habits, not just a diet fad), I have always been of the belief that moderation is key. I don't 'eliminate' anything per se from my eating, but I DO keep an eye out for caffeine and related substances. It STUNK when I kicked caffeine completely from my daily life, becuase I was taking in A LOT of it (3-4 cappacinos a day, 1 or two espressos, a ton of soda, etc). I was miserable for a week or so...but then realized that when it was gone...I was much more even. I didn't peak and valley anymore. I still take in some caffeine, but it is in moderation, and never at night.

So keep an eye on caffeine. Definately watch your sugar intake. I have been a big supporter of the merits of fresh veggies and fruit. I felt best when I ate healthy portions of both every day, with every meal. I just got a new wok, and I'll be usually it at least every other day to cook up yummy veggies. (you don't need to use much oil)

Exercising releases all sorts of good neurotrasmitters into your system that will improve your mood. I could write a book on it, but instead, just trust me. Also, make sure to get consistant sleep. Having a sporatic sleep schedule screws with a 'normie' enough, but someone with bi-polar (or MDD, any anxiety disorder, psychosis related disorder, etc) it really does a number on the person.

I've gotta run, best of luck, and i'll check in later to see what other people say.

-pedagogue

Andy F

Hi jillson

self-forgiveness and self acceptance.

I too would do anything to feel good all the time, but I'm not so sure it's a reasonable expectation.

What I have discovered is that improvement and negating overwhelming feelings is enough. If I can negate the extremes, then the imperfections are quite tolerable, normal.

I don't have the experience of being bi-polar. Though I have found it necessary to accept myself as a learning, improving, but acceptably imperfect human being.

jillson

Those are 2 really hard things for me to do.
It is still really hard not to be the disease. I know
logically that I shouldn't, but IT makes me diffrent
and I really really hate that.

Because nobody but a couple of family members
know, I feel so alone.

Andy F

Self-forgiveness and self -acceptance aren't dependant on what others think of me. They are a decision that requires only my agreement. They are internal strivings completely independant of what's going on.

If I didn't have lots of failings and imperfections I probably wouldn't be concerned about self-forgiveness and self-acceptance.

Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me. I forgive myself for being who I am.

eddie z.

jillson,
I'm just assuming you also have some kind of drug issue. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but must folks around here do. Dual Recovery Anonymous meetings may interest you. The Twelve Steps are a great way to gain self-acceptance.

Also, I skimmed pedagogue's post and noticed he didn't mention anything about light. I'm a firm believer in the value of full-spectrum light in treating mood disorders! I myself tan in a tanning bed, but that can cause skin cancer so I don't really suggest it for everyone. Just getting outside more can make a big difference, but also full-spectrum indoor lighting appears to be helpful. Here's another website of interest: Verilux lighting.

Best wishes in your recovery!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

pedagogue

I just spoke with someone this morning about some of the positve things to come out of tanning booths and natural sun light. Long term you need to be careful of your skin, but it is beneficial in the short term for releasing certain chemicals and nuerotransmitters. (I am blanking on the exact ones...my brain is on vacation until tues. )

-pedagogue

eddie z.

Me, too, but I think endorphins may be in the picture somewhere 'cause it sure as he** makes me feel GOOD!

-ez

jillson

Thank - you all for your advice, I am new to the board and I am in search
of how best to manage my Bi-Polar disease.

It is ironic to me how self forgiveness and self acceptance came up, I would have never in a million years thought about either of those things, yet they are
both something I have a really hard time with.

I am lucky that I don't have a problem with drugs. no offense taken. I work
for a police department for the last 20yrs, maybe that has something to do with it. I have read, that it is very common for people with bi-polar to become addicted to other things - drugs/alcohol..

I guess for whatever reason, work, not wanting to lose my child/husband ect. I have stayed away from that. and now that I know I am more prone to going that away, I stay away from it.


I am just feeling lost in my world

pedagogue

You are correct in your assumption about a high co-morbidity with substance abuse and bi-polar.

I have heard that there are some great alternative books out there that work towards improving the daily life of a person with bi-polar disorder. Whether or not you take medication in conjunction with that is dependant upon yourself and your doctor. Maybe someone can suggest I book. I do not know any off hand, ,but they are out there.

-pedagogue

equus

I worked with horses, problem horses for years. Any groom will tell you that you can feed a sane horse bonkers and a bonkers horse sane. Animals don't get a diagnosis so excuse the clumsy wording but I've known ones that won't eat, or panic at nothing, or are so aggresive their owners think shooting them might be best.

All of them would arrive and the first few days were the same we would get the fussy ones to eat (there are ways - like sound, smell, little portions, jealousy), the bold ones to needed to eat good food and the ones that panicked. They would be worked and turned out but always excercised - for loopy horses with owners terrified of them sometimes that was something very new.

I can say hand on heart that the food and work did more to straighten them out than any skills we had as handlers. The knowledge about 'corning a horse up' or 'feeding it down' has been passed through generations and maybe hundreds of years old - but it works.

Now I know humans are far more complex, I know humans are very different but I don't see how we can be uneffected by food. Food counts for the single biggest quantity of chemicals we put in our bodies - natural or unnatural.

I bwelieve in good food. I believe the sound of chopping and the sight of fresh food makes us hungry, I believe we digest food better when we are hungry, I believe the ping of a microwave is a pi$$ poor alternative.

Eat and love food. Excercise and love the feeling of used muscles!! I'll eat my riding hat with ketchup on if either one of those statements aren't good advice.

eddie z.

An excellent policy!!

Great posts, pedagogue and equus!

((((jillson)))),
Are you in therapy as well as on meds? I have to do both for my mood disorder. Holy Cow! That reminds me, I need to make an appointment with my therapist! I'll catch up later. LOL.

But seriously, we'll support you however we can. Just keep in touch!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

jillson

Yes, I am in therapy and I also take medication - (Lithium)

To be honest, I don't know how much I get from therapy, it is
nice to go and vent sometimes, but really other than that I don't
really see much point.

I do know on meds I am alot better, I tried everything under the
sun, nothing seemed to work. I was real hesitant to go on Lithium
because of the stigma, and still NOBODY knows that I am on that.

However I give it to my Dr. - shrink, it has helped me more than anything
else I have tried. He also keeps a close eye on me lab wise.
I just went yesterday, hate it but at least I only have to go every
3 months now.

It is just so hard for me to not only admit to myself that I have
this disease and I need to deal with it, but the thought of telling
anyone else just puts me in a major panic!!!!

I have an appt with my O.B Doctor in 2 weeks, the thought
of telling him that I am bi-polar just makes me sick.

eddie z.

I'm sure you know that lithium is usually a no-no in pregnancy and that it's very important that your OB doc know everything you put in your body, right? Good.

There is no reason to feel guilt or shame over being bipolar. It's an illness just like diabetes or arthritis. I've never been to one of their meetings, but there is a Twelve-Step fellowship for folks with mood disorders (and other stuff, too, I think) called Emotions Anonymous. The Steps can really help with that self-acceptance issue!

Best wishes, jillson! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

jillson

Eddie,

Yes I know it is important to tell the O.B. doctor what I am taking
and why, it is just really hard. I know it is a disease and I shouldn't
be ashamed of it, but I am.

There is no worry - thank goodness - about me getting pregnant, after
I had my daughter 4yrs ago, I had alot of problems and ended up needing
a partial hysterectomy.

I also learned 2yrs after the fact, and the dx, that after I had my daughter
and suffered SEVERE post partum depression, that had I known I was
bi-polar, they would have kept me for a week and leveled me back out.
I lived through Hell the first year or more of my daughters live!!

I do have a question, my work trains police officers and others in
mental illness, just started about 2yrs ago, I went through the
course, it was very insightful to say the least, especially because it
was before I was dx.

They do class room work, talks by people who suffer from everything
under the sun, to visiting the local pyshc ward in the hospital and also
the state hospital and some in house treatment centers.

I want people especially people who work with the mental ill to
understand it the best that they can.
I have toyed with the idea of 'coming out' and talking to these class'
Telling my story, I am obviously scared, especially since I haven't
told anyone.


I just don't want my fear to over ride any help that I could be in educationing
them. But I am still so scared. Any thoughts? Suggestions ??

eddie z.

jillson,
That's a toughie and a very personal decision. I would discuss with as many people as possible who already know starting with my doctor and therapist. I certainly can't tell you what to do, but I know from my own professional experience that "coming out" unfortunately still has risks, so it's definitely not something to be done lightly. I know you already know this.

It angers me so much that most mental illnesses are still so misunderstood and stigmatized. And I think it's VERY important to dispell the myths, especially for our public servants, the police! I'm glad that someone who know what they're talking about is educating them, but I'm not sure how much of a difference it would make if they knew just how much you know. Make sense?

I'm wishing you all the best!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

jillson

Believe me I have thought about it ALOT and still I don't know what to do,

From what I would want to do if I did consider it is. The class is a week long class, I would want to participate like I was one of them, Everything..
Letting the class see me for who I am, some I work with, others are from
diffrent agencies.

Let them get to know me for who I am. Then the last day, talk to the
class about my disease, after I have shown that I can function and be
'normal'. It would be worth it to be to come out if I thought that I
could really make a diffrence.

Are you out eddie?

eddie z.

Am I "out?" Hmmm...I don't know how to answer this 'cause I'm not working right now. But I have been open about my addiction and depression with my recent classmates and teachers. Then again, it was counseling I was studying. I think I'll have to be honest with prospective employers about my situation, but it's pretty different from yours since you're not dealing with mental health clients directly. Self-disclosure is an issue I'm really working on right now. I want to discuss it with more people who are already working in the field, so I'll know what to tell and how much to tell my patients/clients.

I know. It seems like I'm beating around the bush, right? Well, like I said, I can't tell you what to do. Our diagnoses are different and our work is different, so I'm not sure that what I would do is what you should do. Does that make sense? I know that knowledge of my "mental health issues" has impeded me professionally in pharmacy, but pharmacy is a very conservative profession. I just don't know. Is there a trainer or supervisor who knows and that you can trust? Ideally, that's who you could talk to, but I understand if that's not practical.

Love and hugs,
Eddie

jillson

There is only 1 person at work that knows, he is a peer councler for
the department.

He has been with me even before the dx, since I was having many
problems before the dx.

He says he knows that I could help, especially those that know me, or have
known me over the 20yrs, but that I need to do it for me, for my wellness.

I do know one thing, my Husband is a Police Officer in another city than
me, before my dx he did not understand mental illness at all.
It is amazing to me to see how much he has changed, ie; He pulled a
female over a couple of weeks ago because she was to impared to drive.

Come to find out, she was on ALOT of medications for mental illness and
her Dr. had over medicated her.
He called her grandmother to come and pick her up, anyway when it went
to court, my Husband said when he was on the stand he asked the court
to not take her drivers license away.

That it wasn't her fault, and although she needed to call her Dr and get
some things worked out medication wise, he didn't want her to be without
a license.

That is so not like what my husband use to be like, but he lives with it
first hand now.
If I can make that diffrence in other officers it would be worth it to me.

eddie z.

So you have discussed it with someone at work. That's good. I think you really know best what to do!

That was a wonderful story about your husband! Thank you for sharing it. And I support you whichever way you decide and wish you the best!

Love and hugs,
Eddie