Perfection
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chaos City
Posts: 605
Perfection
Many of us picked on oursleves unmericfully before recovery. We may also have a tendency to pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.
"If I was really recovering, I wouldnt be doing that again..." "I should be further along than I am." These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We dont need to treat oursselves that way. There is no benefit.
Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grown and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitue of self-acceptance and love.
Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That' show we learn and grow. Relapse, or recylcing, is an imprrtant and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.
Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: perfection is being who and where we are today; its accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.
Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow.
"If I was really recovering, I wouldnt be doing that again..." "I should be further along than I am." These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We dont need to treat oursselves that way. There is no benefit.
Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grown and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitue of self-acceptance and love.
Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That' show we learn and grow. Relapse, or recylcing, is an imprrtant and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.
Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: perfection is being who and where we are today; its accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.
Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow.
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Second star to the right....
Posts: 845
aaah, u freaked me out!!!
a friend just gave me that book and i read it today and i was like whoa!! is my HP giving me a message or what!
amen to you sista.
one problem i have is in over judging my appearance. how my happiness can sometimes be dependent on whether or not that pimple is still there or if my hair isnt quite right. this superficiality is deeper in truth that i dont love and accept myself.
i did this thing where i counted in one day how many times i checked my reflection. now when i feel that urge i tellmyself im loveable and beautiful inside and out.
i love myself mostly but not fully....thats what gives me the shame and anger at not being able to be perfection. but with patience and trust in god i can make it. we all can. its funny cos i always see everyone else as so beautiful and loveable when they think they arent. sometimes just to pretend i love myself fully for a while when i dont, makes me feel great and then reality overtakes the fantasy and i grow into it.
its so true that we are where were meant to be. i know for me at least that i dont always realise the power of my words being in the right place at the right time for so many others. so its also step 3, my hp's will. step by step.
enough rambling
amen
a friend just gave me that book and i read it today and i was like whoa!! is my HP giving me a message or what!
amen to you sista.
one problem i have is in over judging my appearance. how my happiness can sometimes be dependent on whether or not that pimple is still there or if my hair isnt quite right. this superficiality is deeper in truth that i dont love and accept myself.
i did this thing where i counted in one day how many times i checked my reflection. now when i feel that urge i tellmyself im loveable and beautiful inside and out.
i love myself mostly but not fully....thats what gives me the shame and anger at not being able to be perfection. but with patience and trust in god i can make it. we all can. its funny cos i always see everyone else as so beautiful and loveable when they think they arent. sometimes just to pretend i love myself fully for a while when i dont, makes me feel great and then reality overtakes the fantasy and i grow into it.
its so true that we are where were meant to be. i know for me at least that i dont always realise the power of my words being in the right place at the right time for so many others. so its also step 3, my hp's will. step by step.
enough ramblingamen
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