Treading water here.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plymouth, MN
Posts: 960
Treading water here.....
I have so enjoyed this site and since joining in April I have found a lot of support. However, I am struggling with my addiction to alcohol. I came to this site an every day drinker. I am thankful that now I have more days sober than not, but I am still fighting this battle every darn day. I have not given up but I am getting very scared because there have been times when I do drink. I've tried the "controlled" drinking -- If I choose to drink I take care of how much I drink, only 2-3 glasses of wine. But when I wake up in the middle of the night I will feel good and start to drink again. I've never done that in my life. What is it that once I start to move into recovery that I react so crazy. I've never been a morning drinker. It is almost as thought the more healthy I become, the more my addiction turns crazy. I hope none of you who have been supportive will think poorly of me. I just know, someday, this will all stick. I have to believe because a life of drinking if no longer an option. I'm just reaching out to anyone who can get me over this hump. I love my sobriety so much, I don't understand why I still have the pull to drink.
MNGirlyGirl
MNGirlyGirl
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hey Girlygirl--No one is going to think poorly of you. Most of us know exactly where you are coming from. My guess is that you are reacting this way because you are an alcoholic. You have an "allergy" to alcohol. Does this mean you can not gain control? NO! You have the choice to not pick up that drink. You have the choice to do something different. Have you tried to find any outside support? I go to AA, and without it, I could not have made it this far. In the meantime, keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Hugs--
Hugs--
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hey Party Girl,
I'm glad you're doing well and you know the same thing happened to me. When I told myself I was going to cut down, I craved alcohol even more. But, the craving lessens. I think it's a bit like telling yourself you're going on a diet and suddenly food everywhere is calling your name. Controlling my drinking took SO much energy, it is so much easier to not drink and not really think about it.
Hang in there. You can do this.
Love, Anna
I'm glad you're doing well and you know the same thing happened to me. When I told myself I was going to cut down, I craved alcohol even more. But, the craving lessens. I think it's a bit like telling yourself you're going on a diet and suddenly food everywhere is calling your name. Controlling my drinking took SO much energy, it is so much easier to not drink and not really think about it.
Hang in there. You can do this.
Love, Anna
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NYC, NY
Posts: 193
Hi GirlyGirl
I think that that complusion to drink can also be purely understood in terms of the physical addiciction that you have built up in your system. In my experience, I could literally feel my blood-alcohol level slipping, and feel a very strong physical urge to boost it. As I would slowly detox, surely that threshhold lowered, but each time I fed it a little...I would need a boost to find some equillibrium. It is also called maintenance drinking.
Going cold turkey and complete detoxification was the only way for me to rid myself of the physical cravings. As you may know, full alcohol detox can be dangerous depending on your recent drinking history and it is recommended to do so under supervision. I white knuckled it and got through it in a very difficult week. There are threads here specifically on the detox process that I am sure someone can point you to.
Best Wishes to you.
I think that that complusion to drink can also be purely understood in terms of the physical addiciction that you have built up in your system. In my experience, I could literally feel my blood-alcohol level slipping, and feel a very strong physical urge to boost it. As I would slowly detox, surely that threshhold lowered, but each time I fed it a little...I would need a boost to find some equillibrium. It is also called maintenance drinking.
Going cold turkey and complete detoxification was the only way for me to rid myself of the physical cravings. As you may know, full alcohol detox can be dangerous depending on your recent drinking history and it is recommended to do so under supervision. I white knuckled it and got through it in a very difficult week. There are threads here specifically on the detox process that I am sure someone can point you to.
Best Wishes to you.
Let go and let God
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: illinois
Posts: 116
Girlygirl,
I have not found anyone that thinks any less of anyone for coming her for help. You are in a safe place.
I have an addict in my life and an alcoholic. The above posts are right, stopping cold turkey can be dangerous and needs medical supervision. I have heard that it is the best way. When you "cut back" your body send you signals that it needs more because it is used to more. It is telling you that you are stopping the alcohol. Like you didnt know> lol. Support groups can be of huge help. NOt sure if you are attending meetings or not. Being around others like you in your situation can be a great mental boost too. You are doing the right thing, just make sure that you do it the right way and most importantly safely. Good luck and keep coming back. With both addicts in my life, it seems like when they were first quitting, thier mind played the most tricks on them and the rationalizations and excuses came up more often. Just an observation.
Good luck and God Bless
Jeff
I have not found anyone that thinks any less of anyone for coming her for help. You are in a safe place.
I have an addict in my life and an alcoholic. The above posts are right, stopping cold turkey can be dangerous and needs medical supervision. I have heard that it is the best way. When you "cut back" your body send you signals that it needs more because it is used to more. It is telling you that you are stopping the alcohol. Like you didnt know> lol. Support groups can be of huge help. NOt sure if you are attending meetings or not. Being around others like you in your situation can be a great mental boost too. You are doing the right thing, just make sure that you do it the right way and most importantly safely. Good luck and keep coming back. With both addicts in my life, it seems like when they were first quitting, thier mind played the most tricks on them and the rationalizations and excuses came up more often. Just an observation.
Good luck and God Bless
Jeff
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 77
Hey girl!
I'm so glad you're here and reaching out for some advice! None of us are perfect and it sounds like at least you are headed in the right direction. I don't know that I could say anything more than what has already been posted to you.
It's hard, but just don't pick up that drink. You've tried the controlled drinking thing, and you can see for your own eyes that it's not working. So now make up your mind that you're DONE for good, then get it out of your house, make it to a meeting, or call someone (me,me!) and you will work through this. The beginning is always the hardest, but it does get easier!
Hang in there hon!
Renee
I'm so glad you're here and reaching out for some advice! None of us are perfect and it sounds like at least you are headed in the right direction. I don't know that I could say anything more than what has already been posted to you.
It's hard, but just don't pick up that drink. You've tried the controlled drinking thing, and you can see for your own eyes that it's not working. So now make up your mind that you're DONE for good, then get it out of your house, make it to a meeting, or call someone (me,me!) and you will work through this. The beginning is always the hardest, but it does get easier!
Hang in there hon!
Renee
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Hey MN
Give it another shot - it will stick eventually. I quit last fall for 5 weeks and then went right back to drinking everyday, but this time around is different, and it does get easier. Easy does it...
Give it another shot - it will stick eventually. I quit last fall for 5 weeks and then went right back to drinking everyday, but this time around is different, and it does get easier. Easy does it...
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