fishyfishy

Hiya all, hope you are well i had i NIGHTMARE last night. Heres what i dreampt:


I was in a pub, drinking, although i knew i shouldnt be. I was with my AA friends, one or two of them were drinking. I just dont know how it happened, i was drunk. My AA friends were telling me to be quiet and to calm down, they were drinking orange juice. Then it clicked. I SHOULDNT be drinking, so i switched to a can of coke. But it was to late. I KNEW that the first drink i took meant i had to start all over again. That everything i had achived was gone, and i had to start my sober life again from tommorow. I was gutted, it felt so real. I was so dissapointed in myself. Anyway, so i thought, i will just go home and start again, it was just a realaps. So i got on a bike with someone i was drinking with (?!!) and my daughter was there. She fell of the bike but was ok, she just started crawling away from me, i couldnt catch her. When i got home, there were men banging on the door, i didnt know how i was going to explain it to my bf. I KNEW then id messed up, the feeling was so real. I hated myself so much, i wanted to die

Then i woke up! and i thought, THANK GOD that was not real, i was so releived. Never again i thought, never again........ OK, so alot of the stuff in the dream i would NEVER do and NEVER have done (Taking my baby on a bike drunk, lol!) but maybe it was a sign of things to come. Maybe i know deep down that if i were to keep drinking things would get worse.


Take care luv bonnie,xxxx

I just thought i would share that because it felt so real!

Chy

Drinking dreams are very common in early recovery. As time goes on they are less severe but I understand how real and terrifying they can be. Even 2 years later I had one recently and darn it it didn't take much to throw me back to those feelings of day one. I think they are a reminder to us of where we no longer want to go.

fishyfishy

Thanks chy, i am actually glad i had the nightmare as it was just another reminder of where i never want to be again as you said. The releif to wake up and realise it wasnt real was overwelming. I was so happy! then thought of what i was going to do today, feeling so glad it didnt involve alchol

Cathy31

Jeez Bonnie I can totally relate - it's a great feeling of relief to wake up isn't it...but as Chy says TRULY terrifying - the shame and mortification and disappointment,.,..and it's so true whenever i have had them i am ok one minute and the next SECOND it seems, it dawns on me that i am uncontrollably DRUNK. The last time I had a dream like that I actually wanted to kill myself in my drean I felt so bad about what happened...it's amazing though, it's like our bodies and minds are trying to remind us how bloody bad it can be!!
love
cathy31
x

hopealwayz

I've had them too. They serve a good purpose to help us see why we don't want to go backwards. The dreams will lessen the longer you are sober.

lulu70

Oh yeah...Had a LOT of those dreams. Still have them occasionally, although usually not intense. I do know that trying to get some exercise can really help you sleep better and help keep the nightmare's at bay. I was getting regular exercise until I got sick about a week and a half ago. Last week I had a HORRIBLE drinking dream. It had me freaked for a couple of days!

Glad you are talking about it!!!!

Hugs--

wantneeda

When i have dreams like that i thank my HP for the reminder of where i don't want to go...

CAPTAINZING2000

Bonnie,

focus on the things you love in life. Don't think about alcohol. Keep your self in the solution and not in the problem.


The greatest reward i 've gotten from this program is service work. Be active in your AA groups. many hands make light work

God bless

chris

fishyfishy

Well, i had another one last night. Luckily i only got to a half pint of lagar this time and stopped!!lol!

I still woke up in a sweat though, it was awful!


I cant wait till they pass