LVNitUP

I am on my 7th day of sobriety (3 in detox), and I really am doing good. I mean I have my ups and downs and the anxiety. Like when a smoker (which I also need to quit, but one thing at a time) is finished with dinner and realizes that he/she just quit smoking and cannot have that cig.....Ohhh, been there too!
But for the most part I am doing great, and have a very positive attitude about staying sober!

I am terrified of going to meetings, though I have been to some years ago.
I am not exactly sure why. I have found them to be a bit overwhelming at times. I am a very social person and love all people, so it's not that. I have admitted to myself and others (years ago actually but did nothing about it) that I am an alcoholic, so that is not a problem. I have heard that some are meat markets and I understand that it would be one of the best places to meet another 'clean' person. And it is only what you allow anyway.
I have had fears before but always told myself to get over it and do it, I am a very independent person who does not like things to be done for her.
So, I am not sure why I just can't make myself go to a meeting! It's just silly to me in thought but very real to me in my reality.

Question....
Do I really have to go to meetings? Couldn't the whole program be done through books? Workbooks maybe?
Has anyone worked the program without meetings and remained sober?
And I do not mean just a dry drunk, I understand the difference. I mean actually had a successful recovery?

Just asking......Hope everyone is doing great this fine evening!

tyler

There are other programs that can be worked without meetings, however I would recommend that you face your fears and go to some meetings first. Facing your fears can be one of the most empowering things you can do. I'm sure you are already facing one of your biggest fears, getting sober, compared to that how bad can a meeting be. You talk about being a meat market, sometimes true, so make sure you stay with the ladies. There are a million reasons to make excuses not to go, and only one to go, to go to any lengths to stay sober. I totally encourage you to give it a good try and see what you think, what's the worst thing that could happen????? BTW I am not a big 12-step person, but I totally recognize the bennifit of addicts helping addicts. I wish you the best of luck.

KelKel

Hi LVN...
Folks do get sober and stay sober without support groups like AA.
There are so many statistics out there concerning the subject that it is overwhelming at best...
Folks who got and stayed sober without a program.
Folks who used AA.
Folks who used another program.
Folks who learned to moderate.
Folks who just did not make it (period)
infinitum

I can only speak for myself.
I have been fighting for sobriety for @ 10 yrs... in and out of the doors of AA and dappling in any other program or idea I could get into my stubborn ever-questioning brain into...
I hit so many low...low bottoms... I should have been dead from this disease many times...
Sparing all the insidious details... I finally got so tired of being sick and tired , firstly I promised my Psych. dr that I would get involved in a group...(online only was my compromise). I found SR and started very slowly reaching out to others,then I reluctantly went back into the rooms of AA , it was the fellowship and this place that helped this drunk to finally reach a place where I was willing to do whatever it took for me to get sober. Reaching out to others who shared in my affliction has become one of my best tools in dealing with recovery.

I don't know what will work for you or anyone else, only what has helped me.
I can only hope that when I share my experience that somehow, it may help someone else to see that they don't have to go through the hell i went through and that reaching out to others and having a human experience is the best cure all for this thing called living life sober.

nomaste'

CarolD

certain many alcoholics stay sober w/o AA meetings.

Personally...I know none.

Have you thought of taking a friend to an Open meeting?

potsie1956

go to men or womens meetings only this may help your fears but do go to face to face metings

Time4Me11

Hi there LVN...Congrats on your 7 days!

As KelKel says, there are endless rovovery stories and statistics available out there. Perhaps the biggest mystery is the number of people who "self-recover." Due to the independent nature of self recovery, these stories are just being put together and statistics vary from 40 - 70% of all people who recover...Those people do share a few things though, and one of them is that they had SOME form of support around them..often family or loved ones. Recovery groups...be it AA or another...can be a great addition to, or substitute for that circle of support.

That is to say that there are many options out there, and perhaps you can use some of your early sober time looking into and reading about them. It passes some of the anxious moments and you will gain information and tools as well as insight into how the different programs work. There is much on the web about AA, as well as SMART REcovery, Rational Recovery and others...It has expanded my thinking about my addiction and recovery path enormously.

SR was a great way for me to get comfortable sharing my experience with others...quite anonymously at first...I now feel much more comfortable in different group formats.

Best to you.

mackcat

hi LVN
there are many stories of those who got sober [especially in the early years of AA] by doing nothing but the BB of AA. they were usually cases of those who had no other resource available.

i, on the other hand, had to change a lot of my behavior- and learning to sit quietly, listen to others, speak honestly about myself, affirm that i am an addict/alcoholic, care about someone other than myself, see hope instead of despair... the list goes on

my disease is awfully addept at keeping me sick. so when i have a "i dont wanna do...." moment, i try to look at that very carefully. If i'm not moving towards recovery, chances are i'm moving towards a drink/drug.

mackat

lulu70

Dear LVNitUP--IMHO, that fear of meetings is simply your disease trying to keep you sick. If I were you, I would tell that disease to shove it, walk through the fear, and get to a meeting. There is most likely an AA phone number in your town, so perhaps you could call it and see if you can get in touch with someone who could meet you for the meeting, or give you a ride. In the meantime, way to go on you first few days of sobriety. It will get better!!

Hugs--

dave

Welcome.I know what your saying about going to meetings i was the same way when i started.All i can say is please go and in time the meetings get easier and you will actually start to enjoy them.I sure do like them now and you can even find friends who dont use and that will help out.So good luck and keep posting.

Lilalkie

For me, personally, when I first walked through the doors of AA, I was scared of the people. I naively thought, like lots of other people do, that AA's are a bunch of dirty old men in tattered clothes who haven't bathed in a week. Maybe they were once that way, but most people who have been in the program look like "normal" people. Healthy, happy, productive members of society.
Once I got over the stereotypes, I became intimidated by members with years of sobriety. I thought they were looking down their noses at me, expecting me to fail. My pride actually kept me coming back to prove them wrong.
I guess it doesn't matter which avenue you take, as long as you keep coming back.
After being in the program a mere three months, I met some people that really, truly care about me. They're going to be the best friends I ever had! Give AA meetings another try. If you don't like one meeting, try another. You might find one you like!

Justika

Hey LVNitUP, I'm the wife of an A and I gotta tell ya....what you wrote couldn't have said it better about the way I feel. I know that I can just keep reading, keep posting and everything can get better. I am so afraid of going to an Al Anon or Naranon meeting. I don't feel like it would make or break me.
HOWEVER, I contacted someone yesterday about dates and times and got into discussions with her about my fears...I am one step closer to attending. If you think about it...it certainly can't hurt. I, like you, am very social person but there's something preventing me from entering those doors...shame? I've been coming up with every excuse in the book..it's time for a reality check!