bluskies

Hello, I am new to this board and am currently planning my attack on my addiction to painkillers. It was very hard for me to take the first step..to realize that they had control over my life and I hate it. My life is falling apart and I have got to get in control. I have done so much research thru the internet and am trying to decide which detox program I want to use (and can afford)
I am taking 200-300mg of oxycodone a day. Can't get out of bed without it, it hurts so bad when I don't have it. It is unreal.
My question is what are the side effects to your body from taking this poison? I have been taking for about 2 years, but only for the last 6 months have I been really abusing them. And, in the last 6 months I have really gained weight. I went and had a physical and they said everything looked normal. (but I didnt tell the dr. what I was taking)
Does the percs make you gain weight or hold fluid? Sometimes my hands and feet get so swollen..even my face and eyes do. But the weight I have gained is all over.
Thanks so much for your help. Without you knowing it you guys have helped alot already just by reading your posts, it is good to know you are not alone.
-This is a secret, only I know so it is very strange to acutally talk about it.

Thank You.
Bluskies

Jared112987

I wasn't abusing percs for as long as you but I had a problem with them...ended up getting me arrested on a felony drug charge and I swore I'd never touch them again...The I snaped my femur and was taking 2 512 mg oxycodones every 4 hours for about 2 weeks, then I just really didnt want to take them once my leg didnt hurt because they f*cked me over really bad...They're so addictive and I dont know about gaining weight or holding fluid but they messed my intestines up pretty good...was in the hospital for a week with really bad abdominal pain, they thought it was appendisitis, and this happened like 3 weeks after stoping them. You might consider detox because I know how addicting they are in my personal opinion the only reason I was able to put them down was because I had a pot problem and was smoking so much when I stoped the percs.

bella

i don't know much about them making you gain weight or retain water and stuff like that, however, i do know that the have some serious effects on your liver and stomach lining. they have a lot of buffer in them. not just oxycodone and that isn't good at all on your liver. tylenol is horrible when you take too much of it. i'm sure you already know that they will take over real quick so get off of them as soon as possible. your body can't take it forever.

bluskies

Thank You for replying to my question. This is the hardest thing in the world. I assume tapering down is the first step..I know of a person who had "chips" of some sort put into his stomach that contained a medication that made it so that if he took the oxy he wouldn't feel the effects. He had it done at a place called the coleman institute in Richmond, VA. He said the program was created by a Dr. who was addicted to painkillers himself. it costs around 3000.00 and they detox you with valiums and something else. You don't spend the night, you stay in a hotel at night and there during the day. I believe it lasts 3-4 days and then they insert the chips, you have to get them refilled at some point. I have considered this..anyone done this?

In memory of miracle

I was addicted to painkillers also.I found the best course of treatment for myself was to go to a medically supervised detox.Its not easy but it can be done.It was the best thing I ever did for myself.As far as the implant goes,I have not had any experience with it.Talk to your Doctor.Take care of yourself.
Bless, Trish

Dawn10

Bluskies,
Congratulations on realizing that you need help. That is the first step that many of us put off way too long.
You are intelligent enough to realize the toll that abusing the percocets can do to your body. We are not doctor's here and I would only advise you to get to your doctor as soon as possible and tell him/her that you are addicted. That will be hard, but I know from experience that it is the safest way to gain control over your life again. The amount of drug you are using can definately cause some of the symptoms you describe. I wouldn't be too concerned at the moment of what you can afford. This is your life we are talking about.
You can do this. I did and have been clean for 6 1/2 years. It is the best 6 1/2 years of my life.
:e03c

shestruggles

Hi Blueskies;

Good for you, deciding to turn things around. My story & DOC is very close to yours. I often wondered about the physical effects - I was told that your teeth will fall out if you use long enough - also, the stomach and liver problems mentioned above.

Don't forget the fact that you have not felt any pain for the last few years and you may have dental or other problems that you are just not feeling. (When I got clean, I had a reall mess and a TON of pain dental-wise).

The weight thing is confusing. I used to be chronically underweight, mostly due to putting all my money towards dope and never ever eating. The last few years I have gained weight while using, and my sister has gained a ton of weight (she also uses). I was thinking it may have something to do with the way you 'feel' when you're high. Like everything is OK, everything is cool. You can overeat and not ever feel bad. When I'm sober and spend 2 days lying on the couch and eating nothing but cookies, candy, ice cream, donuts and the occasional bag od doritos - i feel like crap. I tell myself - you can't lie around and eat like his - you have to get to the gym and eat start eating right again. But when I'm high....it's all good, man... So, I am sure that when we're high and feeling like the whole world is great - we tend to lose any of the self discipline it takes to eat healthy and take care of our bodies

Another really nasty side effect is bad constipation, which brings a host of other problems. I could go weeks without 'going' - combine that with eating more and, wow it's little wonder I didn't get sicker. But that's kinda my other point. Normally, if we were badly constipated we would feel discomfort and pain and get it take care of. On oxys or whatever, you don't feel the pain and some simple, treatable conditions get out of hand. When I was using I even walked around for years with a fractured foot!

So, I don't know the science of it - but just some basic experience from someone who has been there. I''m only 10 days into my latest (and last) recovery, but I feel more human than I have in 10 years. I want to take care of my body -I am so thankful everyday I am breathing and relatively healthy.

Take Good Care & keep coming back!

Jane63

Welcome bluskies,
I was addicted to Vicoden for over a year....they were prescribed for pain and I only got careless with them towards the last 6-months or so...It got very crazy!! I entered a rehab center in my state and detoxed over a period of 4-days. It literally saved my life!

During my addiction, I was taking up to 25-Vicodens a day and often I would notice a swelling or bloating of my body which I was told later partly was from the effects the Vicoden was having on my body...my liver in particular! {other reasons being no exercise, constipation, poor eating habits} Luckily it was about this time that I decided to quit and upon having my liver enzimes checked in rehab found out everything was OK...However, some people there were not so lucky.

Most rehabs will do all the necessary medical check-ups including the liver enzime testing which is very important. I hope you make the choice to get into one soon or at least seek medical attention for answers to your questions. You have taken the first step in admitting you have a problem and I wish you success in your recovery how ever you may decide to do it!
Good luck to you and please keep posting!

Jane

bluskies

Thank all of you for taking the time to post replies to this. It is so inspiring to hear stories of people just like me who have overcame this addiction. I didn't realize that I could have a medical problem that I couldn't feel but that really makes sense. If anyone knows of any good websites about addiction/recovery please foward them to me. I am going to go back thru old posts and get more information too. Hopefully one day I will be able to help someone in my position and tell them my recovery story. Just like a lot of other people I am in need of a complete life "makeover" IT is now or never.
I have never been a member of a board like this but this is so helpful to hear from other people because this is a secret in my life so I haven't talked with anyone about it.
I wish everyone all the luck and love going thru any addiction..you really have to pull every bit of energy, faith and will power out of your heart that you can.
Please keep all the stories and posts coming. I just joined today but after reading this today I don't feel alone and plan on coming back, I hope I can help someone out somehow.
-:toothache

Jane63

Bluskies,
SoberRecovery has all kinds of resources available...just search around the site! Also, reading others posts and seeing how they got clean is very helpful!

I found this Opiate Detox info for you on Rehabs in your state if you want to check them out:
http://www.treatmentfinder.com/opiat...cations.asp#nc

I am sure there are lots more and can be found by researching via internet. When I found a couple I liked, I called them and asked a bunch of questions and then made my decission on where I wanted to go.

I know how it feels to not want to disclose your secret to anyone, but eventually you will have to in order to ask for help. There really is no shame in this...the only shame is in NOT getting the help you need and continuing on down a path of distruction.
I finally got the courage to tell my husband, my family and my trusted doctor who was prescribing me the Vicoden and unaware of what I was doing. I am a shy little small-town girl who has never been out on her own and always had someone taking care of and watching out for me...Somehow I found the courage to tell everyone, research a rehab, call and set up a time to be admitted and go 3-hours away from everyone that was dear to me! Your correct in that it takes every bit of energy, faith and willpower one can summon up, but if I can do it so can you! It is soooo worth it and so are you!! Please do this for yourself and I promise you will never regret it!!
Find your strength!!!
**{HUGS}}
Jane

bluskies

God, Thank You Jane..that felt like a big hug. Just talking to someone about it helps. The description of you sounds alot like me. I am a shy "nice" girl to everyone. This would come as a shock to everyone..I know they will blame it on my home life. I left my husband of 13 years due to his drug addictions..we lost almost everything b/c of his crack/cocaine habit. He has been MIA for over a month without seeing his children and I just sold our home that we built together in 95..To actually put it into words makes me realize how downhill everything has gone. HE introduced me to the painkiller. I actually in the past would throw them away if I had any because they would go out of date. Then, when things starting getting bad a couple of years ago he suggested I take one to "calm down" and when I did it was wonderful. I had the energy to do everything around the house that needed to be done and some..and the whole time with a smile on my face. Now..I can take 10 times as much and never get that feeling, I take it just to function.
Anyhow, I am going to shut up now. I am sure my story sounds easy compared to some people's stories. I am impressed with your courage to do what you did, I can't imagine the face of some of my family members when they hear this news. I am sure it is hard for some people to understand just how serious this is..or any addiction for that matter.
Thanks again. I am going to go check out the website you suggested.

Jane63

Your welcome bluskies!! That is the effect I had hoped for and we all need a big **{HUG}} now and then!!

I wanted to reply here and say that I didn't read the site I gave you fully and now think maybe it might not be what you were looking for in a rehab...not sure, but I will try to find something else for you and post it soon. When I was looking for one, a friend here posted a site that had listings by state...many of them to choose from and info on them...some even had websites of their own...so I will try to find this for you and post ASAP!

I am so sorry about the pain your husband has caused you! Remember though, that just because he has chosen to walk this path, you do not have to!! The having to take more and more to get the same effect is our bodies way of telling us that it is time to quit! Something I read that has always stuck in my head since becoming clean is that "addiction is like a train...there are times when it is starting up and going slow enough that you can still jump off without getting hurt too bad! Do not let it speed up any faster without trying to get off!"...Also, you need to remember that any energy you are getting from the drug is a sort of "fake energy" and even though it feels good for the moment and you can get so much done, it really is hurting you in the big picture of things. And think of all the free time you will have not hunting down/looking for Oxys!!!

Hang in there and keep focusing on getting well!!
Jane

Dawn10

Bluskies,
There is another site you might find helpful, Pills anonymous. The site is
www.groups.msn.com/pillsanonymous

I don't find it as helpful as this one, but I am a bit farther in recovery than you and many of the posts on the site are from those early in recovery, so you may find it very strengthening. We all have different needs, so check it out.

Hang in there, you can do this!
Da wn

gratefulgal

I had/have to deal with a similar situation. My good friend who is still in my life was the one who introduced me to the painkillers as well. I know that my parents blamed him (and maybe still do) but I have told them and I have had to come to terms with the fact that I make my own choices and he did not force me to take that pill. It sounds like you are headed in the right direction. Find a detox place you feel comfortable with and get help. God bless.

Jane63

**{Bluskies}}

I cannot find the site that has Rehab centers listed by state {the one I used} so if anyone else here is reading this and knows of one, please post them! Also you can just type in your city and state and then "Rehab Center" and see what you come up with...That way you can get phone numbers and call with your questions if you want.

Keep hanging in there Bluskies and focusing on getting well! You can do this!! And please keep posting...If there is anything I or anyone else can help you with, just ask!!!
Thinking of you and wishing you strength!!
Jane

bluskies

Thank You guys for the info.I have looked at so much info in the internet. Let me tell you something interesting. I called a place in CA. "The Weismann Method" (I probably spelt that wrong) anyway, when I called I spoke to a counseler about their way of treatment. She said they would put me to sleep under general anes. for 4-5 days and give me medication during that time to get all the oxy out of my system. I asked her how long it would take me to get energy back and how bad the detox symptoms were after I woke up. She VERY MATTER-OF-FACTLY said that I would feel nothing. That I would be back to normal as soon as the anesthesia wore off. She said that it was the most humane method in the nation and that people came from all of the U.S. to be treated there. Of course it costs 15,000.00.
I cannot afford this but the thoughts of having no withdrawls symptoms and being back to normal sure is tempting. She said I could speak with previous patients about their experience. It is just so hard to believe, have any of you heard about this?
Since it is not an option I am not going to give it too much thought but I tell you it makes me wonder if there is other treatment out there that you can get treatment where it won't be so painful. To be honest the thoughts of going thru this at home scares the $^*) out of me.
I hope SheStruggles and AngelGrl are hanging in there..and all the other people too. I wish I could be a movie star so I could afford the best treatment and nannies to take care of the kids, maids to clean the house, accountants to handle the bills..etc.

angelgirl

I just typed you this really long message, explaining my experience with "hospital detoxes", and I LOST the message. UGGGHHHH!!!!
Here I go.... Ok, here is my experience with hospital detoxes. Which I do recommend if you can get into one. Sometimes they have waiting lists, and can be difficult to get into. But it is the best way to go, now that's my opinion.
The last detox I went to ( 18 days ago) was a hospital where they don't put you to sleep, but they fill you full of phenobarbital, and subutex--sp?? The pheno is for seizures, the sub is for discomfort from the w/d's. The pheno however has a anest. effect on you, the meds are given through an IV. You remember only bits and pieces of what you went through. So that is good. But you AREN"T put to sleep. Now, that is the hospital I went to. I also went to a hospital last year, in which they give you NOTHING. Now, I can tell you in my experience, I spent about 3500.00 for 3 days in a hospital that they give you no meds for 3 days, they moniter you, and you see the doctor, because they want to be certain you don't have seizures, and they also want to be sure you have no underlying medical problems, either from the use of the drugs, or you could have medical issuues you don't even know you have, because with pain meds. you may have pain you don't even know about, because the pain meds. masked the pain. I hope you understand what I am saying. I have been through the hospital detox. where they give you the meds. 4 times. It is over 10,000 for about 4-5 days. This is why I have so many medical bills, they are now starting to sue me.
I also wanted to let you know, depending on your metabolism, or whatever, and how long you use, you also have what is called " post accute withdrawl syndrome" which can last up to 5 years. Like I said, this is what they tell me, and it is also what I have experienced. You should call them and ask them what long term effects the pain meds have on you, see if they tell you about the long term effects on the body. I don't know how they can "cure" those witht heir method. But maybe I am wrong. I only know what I have been through. This time I AM going to go through the long term effects WITHOUT going back to the drug for comfort, because with me the drug only produces comfort for a period of time, then it turns on me, and the pain killers cause me medical, mental, and physical problems, and I am saying that because I really need to remember that, for me they are only a temp. fix.
You can do this. Alot of people have gone through what we go through, and come out a much better person in the end. But I don't believe there is any quick fix for any of us. We work on physical problems, caused by the pills, but also I know I have to work on --- what in my life is so difficult, that I need to numb myself everyday, to live on my lifes terms.
Well I really hope this may have helped you in some small way. I know it helps me to talk things out, so it helped me...
Have a great night. Luv, Becky

bluskies

Hey AngelGrl..

Thanks so much for your reply..there is no easy way out, i might as well face it.
I have a question, I know hot baths are good for your legs/joints burning but what have you found is good for the sweating/being extremely hot/then freezing. Also, I don't know about you but I start yawning like crazy...And this is suppose to last for over a week?
After the first week with nothing do the joints stop aching so bad or does that take longer than a week?
I realize the long term effects can last up to five years like you said, I just mean the joints burning that makes it so you can't even get out of bed.
Thanks..sorry if this seems a little out there, I am scatter-brained.

angelgirl

Funny, I am so scatter brained... Comes with the territory. If you are doing it on your own, I use alot of advil, which does very little for the aches, but remember they will go away. I am only a little achey now, and it has been 18 days for me. I still take alot of advil. But you can try a heating pad, I know the sweats, then cold. It isn't fun, but remember if you have already started your withdrawl, they will go away, that is one of the first symptoms to get better. Don't go back to the pills though if you started, just remind yourself that it gets better, and you don't want to give up on the progress you've made by going back..... You'll eventually in time, have to start from day 1 again. So hang in there, I don't know fi you started or not yet, but i hope you have.... So you can get better sooner. Keep me posted please. Luv, becky Ps-- the yawning is a big part of it also, it always went away for me after a couple days.... Hang in there

erino134

BLUSKIS.... I am just reading this today.

You don't have to go to a hospital and spend $10,000. Find a doctor that prescribes suboxone - you will literally detox in a few days with almost no withdrawal. I even worked through mine. I didn't feel great - but nothing like real w/d. And then find a meeting. I personally prefer AA even though I never had issues with alcohol. I know now though that I would have eventually.

Staying clean has proven to be the hard part. I still crave that special feeling. It is so strange being sober and feeling good physically. It has been so long. But it isn't that bad.

I gained about 30 lbs on vicodin. It is because I stopped exercising and gave up taking care of myself. Now I am so fat. Fatter than ever before in my life. My poor husband - he married a very health concious person. But all that went to hell once I found vicodin.

Sometimes I wish I could just fast forward past the cravings. I wonder how long they are going to last.

I've also gone through regular w/d - but never made it all the way through because it was just too hellish to do and took too much time. The low energy was crippling even if I got past the severe pain....

Suboxone is a wonder drug. My doctor - a recovering vicodin addict told me how lucky I was to have it - that he had to go off a 100 pill a day habit cold turkey. He's so inspiring - but he's so tough on me.

Good luck. let us know how you do.