FaithChaser

ugh! I don't want to look at this because it angers me but I have to... I have a horrible case of ADD that I take meds for. I cannot stay on task or focused without my medication lately. Unfortunately for me my ah loves to steal my pills for a quick fix for a hangover. In the past I've tried to hide them from him but that never works having add it's enough to try to remember to take them in the first place. So, now at the end of the month, I'm out of my medication when I should have several left. They cannot be refilled until the date on the prescription due to federal regulations. So, what I get are MAJOR migranes. He says he needs the medication, he has ADD but what he has is alcoholism! I just want to sit here and cry. Why do I continue to put up with this!!!! Money! I'm so angry, and feel so uncared for. He cannot see that what he does kills me. I can hardly even see streight. I am not sure if this is just massive stress or the lack of the medication that I'm supposed to be on. I was diagnosed as ADD in the early 70's before it's now popularity, I know this is an issue for me. I've tried tylenol, caffine, rubbing my temples, I don't know what else to do.
I keep on trying to look the other way, to ignore his self-centeredness but now it is right in my face, and it hurts, not just mentally now but actual physical pain. He is the cause of this BS and now I hate him for it.

Sorry for venting in such a manner, but I feel so trapped and don't know what else I can do. Do I love drama or is this guy really just a big fat jerk?

Hugs,
~FaithChaser

cwohio

oh faith - i feel for you. i get horrible headaches and i know it's probably bottled up frustration that causes them. i feel the same way today. i have a horrible hedache and am trying to clean the house a bit (what a disaster area it is). i don't think i love drama - i enjoy when he takes a nap and i have aboslute peace. hang in there - no words of advice - just know i am thinking about you!

BlueMoon

Is There ANY way you can call your doc and explain what happened? Or even the Emergency Room??? (Depending on how far away the refill date is) - you shouldn't have to go without your medication cuz someone else wanted to get high. (been there - grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

What really helps my migraines is to wrap ice-bags aroung my head.
Then I'm cold so I get to snuggle in my quilts. Try to sleep.

Feel better!!
Blue

minnie

Erm, a big fat jerk?

walkingtheline

Suggestion:

Where ever it is that you normally keep your pills substitute a sticky note that says:

TAKE YOUR PILL

Then, have a NEW hidden storage spot. Consider a pocket of a coat in your closet you rarely wear, a purse on a shelf in your closet...somewhere not obvious and known only to you.

Even better, use the calendar part of your Outlook and schedule a "meeting" every day at a time you know your husband is at work or away. It will pop up and say "take your pill" and you can go do that.

If he asks where they are simply say, "I'm sorry, I have no extras. Perhaps you can get your own script from the doctor."

So sorry you hurt, I hope you find a way to relieve the pain.

HEALEDbyFAITH

Hes a pig headed self centerd junkie and you know it. Wake up and smell the TRUTH for once. He doesnt give a crap about you its him him him and screw you.....I need money for booze, borrow money for me please. What a jerk. I have a friend like that she says shes gonna be here or there, never shows up, I stay up half the night waiting and she never shows up. Only cares about what she is doing and never thinks about he effect it has on other people. You complain about him often and yet you do not one thing for yourself. Either quit complaining and deal with what you have or get the heck out and start over. You get to choose. Sorry to be so cold here but lets talk the truth for once ok, we are supposed to be helping one another but sometimes its just rediculous to whine and complain and not do a darn thing about it. Your ADD drugs need be taken regularly or they have bad side effects he doesnt give a crap about you or your illness....me me me me me me and my booze and my weed. Be true to yourself you dont need this crap and you dont deserve it....but if your not going to do anything for yourself about it then just learn to DEAL WITH IT. Sorry to be so mean but Ive read all your posts and why you SETTLE for this chump is beyond my comprehension. You are so much more of a person than this guy is give your self a break find someone who cares about you first on their list not last. I guess it would be out of the question for you too actually wake up one morning happy?? I thought in this "system" we are supposed to be looking out for ourselves and not the drunk...ARE you looking out for yourself? Good luck, move on, or deal with what you have. Bigs hugs, your gonna need em.

BlueMoon

that is out of line


Blue

CodeMaster

HEALEDbyFAITH

Blue, I didnt mean that post to be insulting. I meant it as an eye opener sometimes it helps to see things that are true written down......Not meant to offend anyone....Especially FC......

Magichappens

Alcoholism, not the alcoholic, is the enemy. Taking the focus off how bad the alcoholic was, and putting it on what I could do to make my life better was the way to combat it. Until I reached that point, I was a victim of alcoholism. My decision to seek my own serenity and healing changed that. It wasn't a quick fix or an overnight success, but after a year and a half, my life is better than I ever could have imagined.

We can't change the alcoholic. They are going to have to see their problems to the bitter end. But we don't have to be drug down in the process. Getting involved with some sort of recovery, whether in Al-Anon, counselling or some other proactive process will bring us up from that depth. Until we are ready to do that, we are as much a victim of alcoholism as the alcoholic. Hugs, Magic

Daffodil

Faith,

Please know I am sending huge hugs. Know also we know what it's like to live this way.

Right now you are in a very fragile place since you don't have your meds and are suffering the side-effects. If you are unable to face your situation right now olease do one thing. Start a journal, write down exactly how you are feeling right now. Sometimes for me just one sentance in my journal will jump out at me when I read it at a later date and that helps me change some part of my life and my thinking process.
You may need a face to face support group to sort out what you need, I know without my home group in al-anon I would be living a terrible life. Of course all of this is just suggestions on my part, Please take what you can USE and leave the rest.

You don't have to do anything but live with your headache until you get your meds, then you can decide whether you are ready to start making change in YOUR life.

Zoey

HEALEDbyFAITH.....I felt your post was judgemental and that is upsetting when your name is HEALEDbyFAITH. Faithchaser might have been in extreme pain , so it was a bad time to come out with what sounded like a judgement. IMO
Have you ever walked in someone elses shoes????
Every one of us is different and grow at a different pace. It takes what it takes.

I had a dear friend that was telling me that Jane Doe was a mess, she said, "I told her this and that and told her to get to a meeting". (Jane Doe was so depressed she could not think or attempt anything at the moment) I felt and said, "We need to tell her we will be there to see she gets ready and we will take her and go with her to Al-Anon". I felt that was more helpfull and careing than telling someone what to do.

I hate this ,as your appearing to be judgemental then caused me to judge you.

I best shut up. clancy46

pedagogue

For both your health (and that of your AH), you need to not give him access to your pills. I assume you are on Adderall (or equivilant), and that can be dangerous for him to take, considering how it reacts to alcohol. Please do not enable your husband to get hooked on it (in addition to alcohol).

I wish you the best of luck, but leave you with this warning....if you don't stop him from 'stealing it', he won't stop. Now that you know that, the ball is in your court and you need to make a decision. Please choose wisely.

-pedagogue

HEALEDbyFAITH

No offense taken Clancy I know I was pretty tuff on her in my post.....You ever heard of tough love? That was my intention.

Morning Glory

I understand your intention HealedbyFaith and I believe you posted with the intention to help.

My understanding from the many years it took me to heal is that codependency goes much deeper than just changing our behavior and leaving a relationship. It is a deeper spiritual work below behavior and below emotions. Getting out is not going to solve those spiritual issues.

Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.

There are many layers of these three A's that we go through. Our behavior might not change through many of these layers. Just because you can't see progress that I'm making doesn't mean that I'm not making progress. I spent 20 years making progress and then in the next 5 years my behavior did a 100% turn around. I was damaged at a deep spiritual level and it would have killed me to face all those issues at once or any earlier than I did. My HP was very patient and led me into awareness at the right time when I was strong enough to handle it.

Codependency is a coping method that we use until we learn new ways to cope. Truth is good and speaking truth is good. Forcing action with shame is not good.

HEALEDbyFAITH

Good post Morning Glory TY for the advice....

Zoey

Thanks Morning Glory you do so well,
HealedbyFaith thanks for your reply, Yes, I have heard of "Tough Love."
I have all the credits to be a drug and alcohol counselor, however due to health I did not go into it, but I feel strongly I sooo want to help. Was told in classess that I was a natural??? But I am better one on one.
I adore the A's, and so feel for the spouses. If no violence, as that I feel a bigger problem, which I cannot handle.
My hubby seemed to have a problem with alcohol, but he was never in recovery, so he never said he was alcoholic, and it is not my place to label him.
I am not good at typing, I hunt and peck, also can't spell, and barely passed English BUMMER So, You all are lucky. LOL
I am a "high bottom" drunk, but think that is why I was not good in high school. Now I could be a perpetual student.
THANKS AGAIN TO YOU BOTH AND TO EVERY ONE ON THIS SITE. clancy46

JessicaNAJ

FaithChaser - Can you get a safe to lock you pills in? If he thinks he has ADD he should see a Dr. and get his own pills. I agree....that is just very self centered of him.

Send some hugs your way. I hope you get what you need to make that headache go away!!

pedagogue

A note of caution.....

If you husband has ADD and gets a 'script for Adderal, he MUST address his drinking problem...because mixing an Amphetamine like Adderal and a depressant like alcohol....can lead to some major problems: greater chance of alcohol poisioning (because the effects of the alcohol seem diminished even though the toxicity level in the liver is the same...he will drink more), poly abuse of the adderal, alcohol, and possibly other amphetamines, and quite a few other health concerns.

-pedagogue

FriendofBill

I tend to agree with HEALEDbyFAITH , nothng changes until SOMEONE changes.

He is just acting in his disease, self centered, dishonest, indifferent. It is up to ME to take care of myself, and if that means hiding my pills to keep MYSELF healthy, then I must do it.

At first when someone steals from me, I am a victim.
When I have done nothing to proctect myself, and ithappens again, I am now volunteer.

Choices..we have em...hard to make, but essential to a better life.