newbeginings

I read all the posts, but post on few. I am so new to all this (8 months) that I'm afraid I will give bad advice. I keep hearing the part of the hippocratic oath that says "Do no harm." But I wanted you all to know that I hear your pain, see your growth, can relate to your problems. I'm just not ready to give advice. You all have my support and prayers. And I am grateful for your knowledge. I have learned a lot from each of you. I do go to meetings twice a week, but there is so much to learn.

drgnfly30

I don't consider most of the responses 'advice'... I like to hear of others experiences, I take what I want & leave the rest...

Post away!!

Christine

splendra

I think most everyone means to say that you can take what you need and leave the rest. I f someone here is asking for help I hope it is claer that anything I say is only what know would likely work for me. Alot of times we just need to know that some one is there and that you understand. You never know when you might say just the right thing to just the right person that helps so much. Share what works for you be understanding of what another is going thru because understanding can give courage and hope to one who is lonely and afraid.

best

Thank you for a needed lesson.

Advice is something none of us should give. Something I need to remember as well.

Shareing what worked for me is what I should be doing, not giving advice.

When you share...as you did with that post... people learn.
Thank you for being my teacher for the moment.

bluester

I agree with not giving advice any more on here. I did and found out the hard way..thats not the thing to do. I ended up hurting some ones feelings..that I had great respect for.
Think for me..its wise to just give experiences of my own life.

JT

I am a codie through and through. I want to fix absolutely everyone and that includes other codies. Something I have learned and try to apply is to say what I think....once. When I feel the drive to convince someone of something that is when I get into trouble.

Hugs,
JT

equus

I think that's a lovely post, I have a feeling as you get more confident you'll be the source of some PRICELESS advice!!

I feel confident talking about 'issues' but not advising people, I never feel I can know enough. I try to include any reasoning behind what I think about stuff so that people know where I'm coming from and make the best individual decision for themselves. I think part of the reason I spend so long talking about me is because I'm a self absorbed git - the other part is because I can't talk about anyone else with any real confidence - I don't know them that well.

I think the only time I've ever said someone else should do anything was a suggestion to another member that she give a donkey a visit (it lived at the bottom of her garden and I have absolute faith in donkey petting to help). Apart from that and a PM on ways I kick ass out of beaurocratic systems mostly I stick to pretty generic stuff like not to blame ourselves and to take care of ourselves.

I love exchanging ideas but not so much ideas on what other people should do.

sdp

I usually try to just offer an experience I had. Maybe it can help, maybe not. If it helps, I am happy. If not, well, that's life.

cwohio

i too don't feel that i give any advice (heck i am a novice at best) in the recovery arena. i too share what is happening in MY situation and lots of times it's just to vent or have a sounding board for similar experiences by others.

newbeginnings - i am about at the same place you are - if you don't feel like posting that's up to you sometimes it's just nice to know there are others out there who are "listening" and will respond, not with advice necessarily, but just respond which when we are dealing with an a doesn't happen!

hugs - chris

osier59

This is from the suggested opening that is read at Al Anon meetings. We also use this in our online meetings:

The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.

Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization or institution; does not engage in any controversy, neither endorses or opposes any cause.

There are no dues for membership. Al Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.

Al Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

=============

In some of the posts, people ask for help/advice. We learn from each other as we share our experience, strength and hope, as well as our struggles, challenges and obstacles. And, as Christine said, take what you like and leave the rest.

Our recovery is a process just like that of an alcoholic or an addict. It doesnt happen overnight. You'll find a post that touches you or speaks to you in such a way that you find yourself compelled to answer... sometimes with just a hug or a nod or a comment that lets someone know that you understand his/her pain.

We're glad you're here!

Hugs and love,
Barb