Sexually Deprived
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Crazyland
Posts: 22
Sexually Deprived
My AH of three years and I are divorcing. He initiated it I believe out of some sort of reverse psychology. Believe it or not, that's not the sad part. As I stated before in previous posts, we still share an apartment until the lease expires in June. We are definitely "two ships passing in the night". Except, it is that way all the time. We do not communicate. The only time he does say something is under his breath. He drinks every single night! It is awful! I have been staying a few days here and there with my mom but that has its own set of issues.
My AH has also been staying out of the house. God only knows where he has been. He even stayed out on Valentine's Day. I know its surprising that that would bother me considering I had a date. I like this man. But when I remember that he is indeed "a man" I freeze up. I just broke down and told him, "I am supposed to be with my husband." Just so you know, my AH had been withholding sex from me because according to him, he doesn't feel secure.
Now the point of all this is that I am extremely disappointed in myself. I never thought I would be so desperate for affection and companionship that I would disrespect my marriage (whats left of it). I told the gentleman that I was not interested or capable of being in a relationship right now. And yet, I have so much fun around him.
I hate this!
My AH has also been staying out of the house. God only knows where he has been. He even stayed out on Valentine's Day. I know its surprising that that would bother me considering I had a date. I like this man. But when I remember that he is indeed "a man" I freeze up. I just broke down and told him, "I am supposed to be with my husband." Just so you know, my AH had been withholding sex from me because according to him, he doesn't feel secure.
Now the point of all this is that I am extremely disappointed in myself. I never thought I would be so desperate for affection and companionship that I would disrespect my marriage (whats left of it). I told the gentleman that I was not interested or capable of being in a relationship right now. And yet, I have so much fun around him.
I hate this!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Dreams
You sound very wise. When you find another relationship because the one you are in is lacking, then it's just a "replacement" for what you are missing.
My suggestion is to take care of business at home, decide if this is how you want to live your life, and if you decide it's time to move on, go ahead and leave your baggage behind. When you can live and love yourself, alone, then you will be ready to love someone else. Without a little space in between, one relationship will interfere with the other and it's a no-win situation.
Just my opinion.
Hugs
Ann
You sound very wise. When you find another relationship because the one you are in is lacking, then it's just a "replacement" for what you are missing.
My suggestion is to take care of business at home, decide if this is how you want to live your life, and if you decide it's time to move on, go ahead and leave your baggage behind. When you can live and love yourself, alone, then you will be ready to love someone else. Without a little space in between, one relationship will interfere with the other and it's a no-win situation.
Just my opinion.
Hugs
Ann
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