10 Relapse Prevention Tips -the first 30 days
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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10 Relapse Prevention Tips -the first 30 days
Soberity Savers ..
Relapse Prevention Tips to Help You Thru --
The First 30 Day's
1.) Grab a pen & paper. ...
Write day & date. Then write what's going on in that moment? in the second of clarity when you realize it's over, you cannot take 1 more second of the insanity that's become your life. What caused you too hit your bottom? what emotion's did you feel ? where were you ? who or what brought you to this place ? What did you see / hear ? write it all down.
This is vital to finally achieving success. Keep it close, guard it with your life. It may be the one thing between you & using ...again.
2) You need to be fully and completely committed....
It's your sobriety, their is Nothing more important. How much time and effort are you willing to put in to this ? You gave your addiction how long?? years, I'm guessing. Give yourself time to clear your head and shift gears. Please know that you don't need to do it all the first day.
You've hit bottom, admitted you were powerless & need help, now what?...
3.) Now you want to find a meeting ....
Whether AA NA CA -whatever you require;You can also find the numbers in the telephone book .Online google either the nae of the program your lookin for A.A., N.A. , ect... or 12 sep programs .. Tell the where you are located and they'll tell you where to go for a meeting in your area .web address also has an onlosay ine meeting schedule *** these are not to be a subsitute for daily face 2 face, may be used for extra or iminent relapse ***.,
4.)Go to meeting's !....
Just go & keep going. Today & every day Make no mistake, this is your life , its all or nothing. You cannot bargain nor debate .Change is the only option. GO to meeting's. You need to surround yourself with people in the same frame of mind, who have been there. Your environment is critical to supporting change . People places, things will only result in supporting your sobriety if sobriety is what you surround yourself with. You want & need support. Go and bring a pen.
How do you meet those who've been there ?
5.) After the meeting's don't rush out the door....
Get to know people who also want & need help staying clean. In case you didn't realize it , they are there also!! Listen to what they say . You will allot that's familiar. Do Not - leave your first meeting with out at least 2 phone numbers Walk up to someone ,(same sex only !) that you may have heard speak or looks like a friend , Hi, I'm Connie , I'm new, I'm hoping to get your number ." Just like that . They were new once too . You wont be turned down, unless the person is new too. In case YOU don't know ,you use it when you have a question, need a ride to a meeting, or most importantly, when a craving hits.
6.) Recall Life's Simple Pleasures....
Picture yourself on the beach collecting shells, or riding bikes, Can you draw or write ? All are Free, Sober, Fun !!. Their is also activities sponsored by the group's. Find a enjoyable way to spend your time. Remember how to have good times sober. As children, we always wanted to do ,be or try- something. Then we got sidetracked. Now, is your time to claim your life.
Here is one I hope you use. I know it's not always easy to keep up, but totally worth it.
7.) Start & keep a journal....
Now is the time to begin creating new habits. This is one thhat will reinforce the good habits you've began. Keep a record of the new thing's you see hear , feel. Make it a point to spend 30 min in the morning and set your intention. Read a thought for the day. You'll find it help's you remain centered & calm . At night you do a short inventory of your day. Did you go to a meeting? did you participate ? Were you good to yourself today? how could you have done more for yourself or another in recovery ? There's no need to worry about penmanship or spelling. This is for your eyes only.
OK your going to meetings, starting to reach out & ask help. By now the drug's, alcohol are out of your system. The fog is starting to lift , your eye's are clearer , you may even have caught yourself smiling once or twice. What Now ?
8.) You may feel blue....
You may feel you've lost a friend. A brief period of mourning is natural and common. Here's my advice .Turn the radio up as loud as you like (without disturbing the peace!!) then, CLEAN YOUR little heart out, the house, car ,your room, Clean your spot out .. you know the spot where you get high, drunk, do your thing .Get rid of your paraphernalia, any item's that assist or glorify your D.O.C ( Drug of choice) hat's ,t-shirt's , bumper sticker's.( you'll soon have more !) Clean all stash spots- even that one !! Any "tools" whatever - Get rid of it all! Have a friend from the program with you in case of a craving hits or you happen to find something .Don’t entertain it , flush it.
NOW....
9.) Forgive yourself....
We all have done things to bring shame upon ourselves ,we did what it took and it wasn’t always pretty. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The good news is ; you can let that go. Embrace this whole heartedly. Being embarrassed & ashamed are all part of "hitting bottom" . We understood that it's not the values or standards you were raised with. We know thru experience ,with out your forgiving yourself , it will make you unable to ask or accept forgiveness when it is time to accept responsibility and make amends .YOU are the one fighting to stay in that chair ,night after night , and I promise sometime soon, you may even catching yourself smiling.
Perhaps the most important thing you may need to do to complete your first 30 day's of sobriety is
10.)Be good to your self,...
Take a nice hot bubble bath, get yourself that outfit you saw at the mall, or those shoes you've been dreaming of .You've earned it!!! Tenderness is key right now, when you are feeling like you could snap at any second, slow down, take a few breath's. realize you cannot be all things to all people. Find the strength to put your recovery first. Before anything or anyone, as it should to be. you'll never know when this chance is your last.
After a month or so of sobriety , you should be feeling some relief of the depression , if not, may I recommend some counseling with a professional. This will allow you to to move forward in your life with a clear psyche and your emotions intact. If you are dead set against therapy or unable to afford it I urge you strongly to raise your hands at meetings and share , share , share. Talk , allot, things have happened and you have been stuffing the emotions with chemicals for who knows how long? Truly forgive, it was not you , it was the drug's ,the situations the addiction. your the person fighting to keep your ass in that chair at those meeting's. THAT my friend, is you .
Remember, when you begin feeling better and you hear yourself say " I don't have time for a meeting today "That is exactly what your addiction wants you to hear. Think of all the times & ways you MADE time to serve your addiction's,----now you must serve you.
Fight for your sobriety ,Claim your life.
Trust me , Its worth it.
Good Luck and God Bless
Relapse Prevention Tips to Help You Thru --
The First 30 Day's
1.) Grab a pen & paper. ...
Write day & date. Then write what's going on in that moment? in the second of clarity when you realize it's over, you cannot take 1 more second of the insanity that's become your life. What caused you too hit your bottom? what emotion's did you feel ? where were you ? who or what brought you to this place ? What did you see / hear ? write it all down.
This is vital to finally achieving success. Keep it close, guard it with your life. It may be the one thing between you & using ...again.
2) You need to be fully and completely committed....
It's your sobriety, their is Nothing more important. How much time and effort are you willing to put in to this ? You gave your addiction how long?? years, I'm guessing. Give yourself time to clear your head and shift gears. Please know that you don't need to do it all the first day.
You've hit bottom, admitted you were powerless & need help, now what?...
3.) Now you want to find a meeting ....
Whether AA NA CA -whatever you require;You can also find the numbers in the telephone book .Online google either the nae of the program your lookin for A.A., N.A. , ect... or 12 sep programs .. Tell the where you are located and they'll tell you where to go for a meeting in your area .web address also has an onlosay ine meeting schedule *** these are not to be a subsitute for daily face 2 face, may be used for extra or iminent relapse ***.,
4.)Go to meeting's !....
Just go & keep going. Today & every day Make no mistake, this is your life , its all or nothing. You cannot bargain nor debate .Change is the only option. GO to meeting's. You need to surround yourself with people in the same frame of mind, who have been there. Your environment is critical to supporting change . People places, things will only result in supporting your sobriety if sobriety is what you surround yourself with. You want & need support. Go and bring a pen.
How do you meet those who've been there ?
5.) After the meeting's don't rush out the door....
Get to know people who also want & need help staying clean. In case you didn't realize it , they are there also!! Listen to what they say . You will allot that's familiar. Do Not - leave your first meeting with out at least 2 phone numbers Walk up to someone ,(same sex only !) that you may have heard speak or looks like a friend , Hi, I'm Connie , I'm new, I'm hoping to get your number ." Just like that . They were new once too . You wont be turned down, unless the person is new too. In case YOU don't know ,you use it when you have a question, need a ride to a meeting, or most importantly, when a craving hits.
6.) Recall Life's Simple Pleasures....
Picture yourself on the beach collecting shells, or riding bikes, Can you draw or write ? All are Free, Sober, Fun !!. Their is also activities sponsored by the group's. Find a enjoyable way to spend your time. Remember how to have good times sober. As children, we always wanted to do ,be or try- something. Then we got sidetracked. Now, is your time to claim your life.
Here is one I hope you use. I know it's not always easy to keep up, but totally worth it.
7.) Start & keep a journal....
Now is the time to begin creating new habits. This is one thhat will reinforce the good habits you've began. Keep a record of the new thing's you see hear , feel. Make it a point to spend 30 min in the morning and set your intention. Read a thought for the day. You'll find it help's you remain centered & calm . At night you do a short inventory of your day. Did you go to a meeting? did you participate ? Were you good to yourself today? how could you have done more for yourself or another in recovery ? There's no need to worry about penmanship or spelling. This is for your eyes only.
OK your going to meetings, starting to reach out & ask help. By now the drug's, alcohol are out of your system. The fog is starting to lift , your eye's are clearer , you may even have caught yourself smiling once or twice. What Now ?
8.) You may feel blue....
You may feel you've lost a friend. A brief period of mourning is natural and common. Here's my advice .Turn the radio up as loud as you like (without disturbing the peace!!) then, CLEAN YOUR little heart out, the house, car ,your room, Clean your spot out .. you know the spot where you get high, drunk, do your thing .Get rid of your paraphernalia, any item's that assist or glorify your D.O.C ( Drug of choice) hat's ,t-shirt's , bumper sticker's.( you'll soon have more !) Clean all stash spots- even that one !! Any "tools" whatever - Get rid of it all! Have a friend from the program with you in case of a craving hits or you happen to find something .Don’t entertain it , flush it.
NOW....
9.) Forgive yourself....
We all have done things to bring shame upon ourselves ,we did what it took and it wasn’t always pretty. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The good news is ; you can let that go. Embrace this whole heartedly. Being embarrassed & ashamed are all part of "hitting bottom" . We understood that it's not the values or standards you were raised with. We know thru experience ,with out your forgiving yourself , it will make you unable to ask or accept forgiveness when it is time to accept responsibility and make amends .YOU are the one fighting to stay in that chair ,night after night , and I promise sometime soon, you may even catching yourself smiling.
Perhaps the most important thing you may need to do to complete your first 30 day's of sobriety is
10.)Be good to your self,...
Take a nice hot bubble bath, get yourself that outfit you saw at the mall, or those shoes you've been dreaming of .You've earned it!!! Tenderness is key right now, when you are feeling like you could snap at any second, slow down, take a few breath's. realize you cannot be all things to all people. Find the strength to put your recovery first. Before anything or anyone, as it should to be. you'll never know when this chance is your last.
After a month or so of sobriety , you should be feeling some relief of the depression , if not, may I recommend some counseling with a professional. This will allow you to to move forward in your life with a clear psyche and your emotions intact. If you are dead set against therapy or unable to afford it I urge you strongly to raise your hands at meetings and share , share , share. Talk , allot, things have happened and you have been stuffing the emotions with chemicals for who knows how long? Truly forgive, it was not you , it was the drug's ,the situations the addiction. your the person fighting to keep your ass in that chair at those meeting's. THAT my friend, is you .
Remember, when you begin feeling better and you hear yourself say " I don't have time for a meeting today "That is exactly what your addiction wants you to hear. Think of all the times & ways you MADE time to serve your addiction's,----now you must serve you.
Fight for your sobriety ,Claim your life.
Trust me , Its worth it.
Good Luck and God Bless
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Thanks T2S
THat's extremely helpful! I am in the first 30 days and I am going to do some work in another city this week so will be staying in a hotel, room service, etc! But last time Idid this I looked up where the meetings were, so now I know! Thanks for the great advice!
CAthy31
x
THat's extremely helpful! I am in the first 30 days and I am going to do some work in another city this week so will be staying in a hotel, room service, etc! But last time Idid this I looked up where the meetings were, so now I know! Thanks for the great advice!
CAthy31
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Originally Posted by ChrisMan
Time2Surrender,
As you know, I am back in my first 30 days and your post is very helpful. Thanks!
As you know, I am back in my first 30 days and your post is very helpful. Thanks!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Another relapse prevention thread http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=49332
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Relapse, in my mind, is so much more than just using alcohol or other drugs. It's the mind game I play with myself, and it always seems to lead to the same doorstep... And by the time I get there, I've become so dysfunctional in my recovery and thinking that I almost never stand a decent chance of not picking up.
The act of putting the bottle to my lips or the needle in my arm is only that. My relapse started days or weeks before, when the cycle of thought and rationalization that medicating myself might be an option in the face of whatever is troubling me.
Ask me how grateful I am that I finally have a small grasp of my obsessive, compulsive personality...
I have a choice today.
The act of putting the bottle to my lips or the needle in my arm is only that. My relapse started days or weeks before, when the cycle of thought and rationalization that medicating myself might be an option in the face of whatever is troubling me.
Ask me how grateful I am that I finally have a small grasp of my obsessive, compulsive personality...
I have a choice today.
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
What also helped me was to keep coming back no matter what.
I didn't get it right the first time or second, or third.
Especailly in the first 6 months. I don't belive I was all there,
not that I'm all together today
I had to earned that 30 days chip over and over again.
It took me a year + to get my first 6 months.
I relaped on my way to a meeting after 60 days clean time.
Yes, it happened that easily and that fast. A buddy and two chicks
pulled up as I was filling up gas. The alternitive was
no drinking or using and no chicks....Good lord, recovery just
didn't seem so attracting at the time. Meetings about resentments,
gradtitude and GOD wasn't really my cup of tea at the time.
I had a lot of resemtments that I wasn't greatful for.
I belive what helped me thur was a SIMPLE LIST.
MY temp sponsor had me write a list of desperate situations,times
or how I became desperated after using.
That's how I was tought to work my step #1.
My list was long , but I had a page of desperates and a page
of phone # in my wallet. My temp sponsor was asertive in
keeping me on step 1 for at least a year. He told me over and
over again that I needed to build a foundation, but a solid
foudation. I sure the hell didn't have that kind of patient of course.
I want it all and I want it now, damit !!!!!!!
Somewhere in the BASIC TEXT.
"ONLY in DESPERATION THAT WE SEEK HELP.lol
SERVICE WORK plays also a major role in my recovery.
After relaping over and over again in my earliy recovery,
my home group had me run a meeting. That little commitment
helped me get my first year.
I also agree with DangerouseDan. I relaped after 11 years
I hit an emotional and spiritual bottom before I relaped.
Not being plugged in into the program didn't help.
The 12 steps are designed to keep us plugged in.
Of course I wasn't going to meetings and doing services work.
Life threw another curve ball at me. I tried to do it on my own.
I had plenty of tools,answers, and program inside of me.
I'm pretty sure the BIG dude was trying to get something
across to me.....YOU CAN ONLY KEEP WHAT YOU HAVE
BY GIVING IT AWAY.
But my relapes helped me stregthen my recovery and me as a person.
As always there would be someone that had traveled the journey
before me. And some would travel that road after me.
By sharing thier experience, strengths and hope, it
helps me get though somehow. It gave me a lot of hope and courage.
Going back to meetings after relaped of 11 years wasn't easy.
So I share my experience and hope with others, whom relaped after
years of recovery. For ther thraputic value of one addict/alcoholic
helping another is without parallel.
Nobody can ever take my 11 years
away from me, I'll have to get another 11 years.lol
I'm an addict/alcoholic and I'll be one until the day I die.
I still have living problems today but I don't feel stuck
as I did 6 months ago. I'm NOT DESPERATE today.
Progress not perfections.
I didn't get it right the first time or second, or third.
Especailly in the first 6 months. I don't belive I was all there,
not that I'm all together today
I had to earned that 30 days chip over and over again.
It took me a year + to get my first 6 months.
I relaped on my way to a meeting after 60 days clean time.
Yes, it happened that easily and that fast. A buddy and two chicks
pulled up as I was filling up gas. The alternitive was
no drinking or using and no chicks....Good lord, recovery just
didn't seem so attracting at the time. Meetings about resentments,
gradtitude and GOD wasn't really my cup of tea at the time.
I had a lot of resemtments that I wasn't greatful for.
I belive what helped me thur was a SIMPLE LIST.
MY temp sponsor had me write a list of desperate situations,times
or how I became desperated after using.
That's how I was tought to work my step #1.
My list was long , but I had a page of desperates and a page
of phone # in my wallet. My temp sponsor was asertive in
keeping me on step 1 for at least a year. He told me over and
over again that I needed to build a foundation, but a solid
foudation. I sure the hell didn't have that kind of patient of course.
I want it all and I want it now, damit !!!!!!!
Somewhere in the BASIC TEXT.
"ONLY in DESPERATION THAT WE SEEK HELP.lol
SERVICE WORK plays also a major role in my recovery.
After relaping over and over again in my earliy recovery,
my home group had me run a meeting. That little commitment
helped me get my first year.
I also agree with DangerouseDan. I relaped after 11 years
I hit an emotional and spiritual bottom before I relaped.
Not being plugged in into the program didn't help.
The 12 steps are designed to keep us plugged in.
Of course I wasn't going to meetings and doing services work.
Life threw another curve ball at me. I tried to do it on my own.
I had plenty of tools,answers, and program inside of me.
I'm pretty sure the BIG dude was trying to get something
across to me.....YOU CAN ONLY KEEP WHAT YOU HAVE
BY GIVING IT AWAY.
But my relapes helped me stregthen my recovery and me as a person.
As always there would be someone that had traveled the journey
before me. And some would travel that road after me.
By sharing thier experience, strengths and hope, it
helps me get though somehow. It gave me a lot of hope and courage.
Going back to meetings after relaped of 11 years wasn't easy.
So I share my experience and hope with others, whom relaped after
years of recovery. For ther thraputic value of one addict/alcoholic
helping another is without parallel.
Nobody can ever take my 11 years
away from me, I'll have to get another 11 years.lol
I'm an addict/alcoholic and I'll be one until the day I die.
I still have living problems today but I don't feel stuck
as I did 6 months ago. I'm NOT DESPERATE today.
Progress not perfections.
one of many
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ellisville, FL
Posts: 200
good stuff
This post is great thanks for all the information 
I'm doing the best in my recovery that I can. I feel like I'm building myself from the ground up as a new person. All those years I was using seem like a blur to me and I feel like a man who's just woke up from amnesia. I have been writing down all of my thoughts and feelings lately and it's helping me a lot. It helps me the most when I feel the urge to use a drug. If I start writing about the cravings and whats going on in my head it kind of dissapates the energy and get me focused on something else.
I'm also trying to learn how to not even entertain the thought of using if it enters my head. I find that if I just disregard the thought, or immediately pray it will go away. If I think or dwell on it, it grows bigger and biggers and I feel crappier and crappier.
chris
I'm doing the best in my recovery that I can. I feel like I'm building myself from the ground up as a new person. All those years I was using seem like a blur to me and I feel like a man who's just woke up from amnesia. I have been writing down all of my thoughts and feelings lately and it's helping me a lot. It helps me the most when I feel the urge to use a drug. If I start writing about the cravings and whats going on in my head it kind of dissapates the energy and get me focused on something else.
I'm also trying to learn how to not even entertain the thought of using if it enters my head. I find that if I just disregard the thought, or immediately pray it will go away. If I think or dwell on it, it grows bigger and biggers and I feel crappier and crappier.
chris
thanks
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
This is a great thread. I think some of these suggestions can be applied past the first 30 days even. As a chronic relapser myself, it is true that often relapses begin long before we pick up. We fall out of good habits, we let bad feelings fester until we become restless irritable and discontent to the point we say F it. I think some of the ideas in the OP are great ways to see that we don't reach that point.
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