Boggle10

I haven't been here in quite a while, and I'm embarrassed to be back, but this was the only place that kept me sain and sober, so, I was sober quite a while then as you do thought I would be OK, well we know that doesn't work, I will have to come on here and message quite a bit, at this minute in time I'm wondering how to get a bottle at 7.51 am. So as you can see I definitely need help x

Dee74

Hi Boggle
While it might be unfortunate in one respect coming back it's pretty fortunate in another way in that you made it back, and you know that SR works.
You have all the evidence you need to know that drinking alcohol is not good for you...why prolong that anguish.

Rip the band aid off.
All you have to do is sit tight for a couple of hours and you'll be marking down a sober day

Why not read around a bit - maybe even join the Class of January Support thread?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-2-a-2.html

or join the weekend thread (it runs all week)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-2024-a-7.html (A good place for the weekend, Weekenders 12-15 January 2024)

You can do this

D

Boggle10

Oh Dee, I ever ment it like that, I ment unfortunately I have to come back as I'm again back to the way I way, I'm so grateful for this place and everyone in it, x

Boggle10

The way I was I ment, well not as bad but if I don't do something now it will be, x

Steely

It's a good thing you're back Boggle. It means you can get back on track to being sober.

Don't be embarrassed Boggle, we've all been there and found that not drinking is the way to avoid embarrassment, and sickness for the rest of your life, one day at a time.

And the days get easier.

Keep posting.

Dee74

No worries Boggle - I was just reframing things a different way

D

aasharon90

Welcome back.

Boggle10

You are all too kind, I've been up since 3 this morning, I think il go try and sleep a few hours, but the dred and fear is awful, why did I ever start again, x

Gymbunny7

Hi Bogle been there done that the whole lying in bed thinking how can I get wine at 7am absolutely awful. You'll get this sorted lots of help and experience on SR

DriGuy

Getting sober is not the same as staying sober, but in both cases you've got to do whatever it takes.

Behappy1

I too have been in that spot at 5:30 am of driving to town to get a cheap bottle of vodka. If it was done before dark, I could drink some, go back to sleep like a normal person and rise with the sun. I cringe to think that I've done that and can relate. Get back on the horse and keep riding. You've been here before, you know what to do. I'm sorry you're in this spot. I can see myself there very quickly if I start again.

biminiblue

I guess I'd ask why you stopped coming to this site?

If I don't get some reminders of How It Was, I can tend to start forgetting How Awful It Was.

Never forget.

novips

I could not stay sober until I fully committed to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have come to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic for whom -- like me -- AA is the only solution. Obviously, I have no idea whether you are that type of alcoholic, but I hope you'll keep an open mind about the possibility that you are. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.

Zebra1275

Welcome back!

Evoo

Don't be embarrassed. I created three different accounts here because I was embarrassed over many years of reading/posting - but all that shame was in my own head. Nobody here would've judged me for relapsing. Everyone here gets it and has been there.

One thing you can do right now, Boggle, instead of getting that bottle - make a different decision. Commit to riding it out. If you need to, check out an AA meeting. Set up a doctor's appointment. Drink water. That first day of saying "no" another binge day is always the hardest, but you can do it. Just keep posting.

DriGuy

Eventually, I was fine on autopilot. But the point in recovery is not to get out of anything as soon as possible. A better benchmark for achievement is when you stop thinking about what you can get away with, and embrace life long sobriety. I don't know what caused you to pick up, so I'm taking shots in the dark, and they may be unfair. But my speculations and guesswork aside, WHY you picked up is not the important issue. What IS important is that you can't pick up if you can't control your drinking. The idea that if you do this right, you may one day drink like a gentleman is the first dream of every alcoholic, and many of us took years to never reach that goal.

I don't know of any Learn to Drink Responsibly Forum, although I'm guessing some charlatan is out there willing to host the idea if he can make a few bucks from it. Like many of us, maybe you can control your drinking a little bit for a little while until you experience the inevitable addiction creep, and you say to yourself, "Oops, it looks like I overdid it, but maybe I can get better at it with practice." This loss of control issue is the critical thing everyone in long term recovery had to accept. Loss of control after an hour, a week, or a month is still loss of control, and abstinence is the only remedy. Temporary abstinence to get back on your drinking feet is never recommended, and for those of us who are all in, it's not even acceptable.

Maybe you need to hang out in SR longer. I've yet to find a better forum with more enjoyable folks, and it sure beats getting drunk. Maybe the structure of AA would be better. We all have to do whatever it takes, although "Whatever" is a sliding scale depending on the individual.

DeplorableDog

I was sober for over twenty five years and then one day I decided it had been long enough I could have a few drinks. Over the course of two years it spiraled out of control to where I was drinking on a daily basis. I will be an alcoholic for my whole life. My only hope is to never ever take the first drink.

lmvalentine

I understand the embarrassment and shame. I came back here yesterday after a descent into hell. We all understand. It is great you are back and sharing. Please don’t leave again no matter what!

Offthemast

Dang. Feel better, Boggle. And welcome.

This post hit me. A little PTSD. Thank you for the reminder.

Coldfusion

Boggle, I don't know how much you have been drinking, but it would be a good idea to see your doctor. They may be able to help you with withdrawal. I would definitely say to go to urgent care if you feel ill or that a drink is the only relief.

Many AA meetings are on Zoom now, so you can just listen to a meeting and not show your face. Here is just one group's listing out of thousands:

https://www.eastsideaa.org/meetings/?tsml-type=ONL

I like the "Living Sober" meeting at 5:30 PM Pacific Time (GMT -8h).