Stuff you learn
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Join Date: Sep 2023
Posts: 520
Stuff you learn
Hi all I'm just recollecting some thoughts on my alcoholic past. Lots of misconceptions that you don't fully see until you stop.
On my last holiday in Majorca last May I pretty much subconsciously I think decided at the airport I was going to zone out. I always used the pretence I don't like flying which I don't but have flown many times alone so just an excuse. So from the airport pretty much constant drinking. Set the theme for the whole week. A lot of wasted time in hotel room drinking to oblivion. Night before we fly back home I seem to get my act together and manage with the aid of wine to look remotely human and venture out for a meal. I think I'm thinking f××× I've got to get home tomorrow.
Early flight back wake up feeling like death like wtf how am I going to do this. Oh I no where's the wine. With the aid of wine I manage to pack get dressed and somehow end up at the airport. Goin through security hot and cold shaking just focused on more wine in the bar. This would be 9am in the morning. Topped up again and wine on plane land at Manchester. I was totally done long queues which is completely normal at Manchester. A woman was staring at me and I shouted to her what you looking at stary Mary then proceeded to nearly faint in the queue. I wasn't even embarrassed and vaguely remember wittering on about a lady of that age hot flushes blah blah. I was taken out of the queue and sat for a while thinking flipping heck I've got to get to the back of the queue again now. However a lovely security guard who was probably thinking we need to get this lush out of here rapid. He wheeled me through security in a wheelchair. I would class myself as a very ok ish 56 year old who is very conscious about her appearance have my own business you get the picture.
It really is so obvious now to me how my addiction to alcohol created a cycle. The alcohol was causing the anxiety and I was medicating the anxiety with alcohol. I will add the longer this went on the more alcohol I needed.
Parts of that story made me laugh but the reality is awful. Remembering some experiences and understanding how that comes to be has helped me untangle the alcohol understanding.
I'm almost 5 months sober and anyone just starting out or thinking about stopping just carry on or do it because it's the best thing I've ever done. Seriously stopping drinking terrified me if I can do it so can you.
On my last holiday in Majorca last May I pretty much subconsciously I think decided at the airport I was going to zone out. I always used the pretence I don't like flying which I don't but have flown many times alone so just an excuse. So from the airport pretty much constant drinking. Set the theme for the whole week. A lot of wasted time in hotel room drinking to oblivion. Night before we fly back home I seem to get my act together and manage with the aid of wine to look remotely human and venture out for a meal. I think I'm thinking f××× I've got to get home tomorrow.
Early flight back wake up feeling like death like wtf how am I going to do this. Oh I no where's the wine. With the aid of wine I manage to pack get dressed and somehow end up at the airport. Goin through security hot and cold shaking just focused on more wine in the bar. This would be 9am in the morning. Topped up again and wine on plane land at Manchester. I was totally done long queues which is completely normal at Manchester. A woman was staring at me and I shouted to her what you looking at stary Mary then proceeded to nearly faint in the queue. I wasn't even embarrassed and vaguely remember wittering on about a lady of that age hot flushes blah blah. I was taken out of the queue and sat for a while thinking flipping heck I've got to get to the back of the queue again now. However a lovely security guard who was probably thinking we need to get this lush out of here rapid. He wheeled me through security in a wheelchair. I would class myself as a very ok ish 56 year old who is very conscious about her appearance have my own business you get the picture.
It really is so obvious now to me how my addiction to alcohol created a cycle. The alcohol was causing the anxiety and I was medicating the anxiety with alcohol. I will add the longer this went on the more alcohol I needed.
Parts of that story made me laugh but the reality is awful. Remembering some experiences and understanding how that comes to be has helped me untangle the alcohol understanding.
I'm almost 5 months sober and anyone just starting out or thinking about stopping just carry on or do it because it's the best thing I've ever done. Seriously stopping drinking terrified me if I can do it so can you.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,956
Those early morning flights are an absolute nightmare for the drinker, bunny! They’re no picnic for the sober either, but I remember checking in (late) red, flustered and sweaty. Woe betide anyone walking slowly or taking an age to order a (£5) Costa coffee!
In the last year, I’ve had a couple of flights which involved waking up at 3am! They were doable for the sober me. We can always sleep on the plane.
I’m actually heading to Costa del Chav in Tenerife next month, I like Tenerife, but I certainly didn’t book the accommodation this time! I’ll be lucky to see a Spanish person let alone eat proper paella, but it’ll be entertaining to do some people watching 🤣
In the last year, I’ve had a couple of flights which involved waking up at 3am! They were doable for the sober me. We can always sleep on the plane.
I’m actually heading to Costa del Chav in Tenerife next month, I like Tenerife, but I certainly didn’t book the accommodation this time! I’ll be lucky to see a Spanish person let alone eat proper paella, but it’ll be entertaining to do some people watching 🤣
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: England
Posts: 270
Wow, I can relate to this!
I also get nervous flying and also used alcohol to numb it. I have flown sober a few times though and its not so bad.
I remember buying vodka miniatures at the airport and downing them in the toilets, whilst also having a few pints of beer or glasses of wine at the bar with my other half. Sometimes she knew about the vodka, sometimes not.
It worked, but Id end up needing the toilet on the flight several times, and feel like crap once getting to my destination.
Ive drank obscene amounts on holidays and it really is madness when you think about it. After a week or so of non stop drinking, Id be at the point that I was sick of drinking yet had to keep on drinking to stave off an overwhelming depression without it.
I dont want to go back to those days.
I also get nervous flying and also used alcohol to numb it. I have flown sober a few times though and its not so bad.
I remember buying vodka miniatures at the airport and downing them in the toilets, whilst also having a few pints of beer or glasses of wine at the bar with my other half. Sometimes she knew about the vodka, sometimes not.
It worked, but Id end up needing the toilet on the flight several times, and feel like crap once getting to my destination.
Ive drank obscene amounts on holidays and it really is madness when you think about it. After a week or so of non stop drinking, Id be at the point that I was sick of drinking yet had to keep on drinking to stave off an overwhelming depression without it.
I dont want to go back to those days.
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Join Date: Nov 2023
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 911
Hey Bunny! Your story had me nodding in agreement. I have also pretended to be nervous about flying in order to justify getting drunk at the airport/on the plane. I’m not scared of flying at all.
Whenever I would read those stories on the News about someone getting drunk and being a disorderly nuisance on a plane (and getting arrested), I would always feel really uncomfortable because I could totally imagine it happening to me at some point. Luckily it never did. I never got aggressive when drunk but I would get really, really drunk to the point where it was embarrassingly obvious to everyone around me.
The anxiety booze causes is absolutely CRIPPLING, I agree. I didn’t realise how bad, but this time I have been paying close attention and the difference is like night and day. And all the anxiety was caused by the drink. I just thought that was how I was! But it turns out, I am WELL chilled out without alcohol. About everything! I love it.
I’m so grateful for your post because these past few days I have been feeling a bit nervous about the summer holidays (and airports). Never done it sober before. But your post has highlighted that this romantic/fun/wahey idea around drinking at airports/on planes is actually just bloody awful isn’t it.
Well done on 5 months, you are very inspiring to me! Big, huge hugs coming your way xxx 😊
Whenever I would read those stories on the News about someone getting drunk and being a disorderly nuisance on a plane (and getting arrested), I would always feel really uncomfortable because I could totally imagine it happening to me at some point. Luckily it never did. I never got aggressive when drunk but I would get really, really drunk to the point where it was embarrassingly obvious to everyone around me.
The anxiety booze causes is absolutely CRIPPLING, I agree. I didn’t realise how bad, but this time I have been paying close attention and the difference is like night and day. And all the anxiety was caused by the drink. I just thought that was how I was! But it turns out, I am WELL chilled out without alcohol. About everything! I love it.
I’m so grateful for your post because these past few days I have been feeling a bit nervous about the summer holidays (and airports). Never done it sober before. But your post has highlighted that this romantic/fun/wahey idea around drinking at airports/on planes is actually just bloody awful isn’t it.
Well done on 5 months, you are very inspiring to me! Big, huge hugs coming your way xxx 😊
Member
Join Date: Nov 2023
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 911
Originally Posted by Mysteryman 
Ive drank obscene amounts on holidays and it really is madness when you think about it. After a week or so of non stop drinking, Id be at the point that I was sick of drinking yet had to keep on drinking to stave off an overwhelming depression without it.
I dont want to go back to those days.
I dont want to go back to those days.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,989
Gymbunny, thank you for you post. Well done 5 months.
I would find a way to justify my drinking for every occasion that I thought might make jittery. Whatever it took to protect my using drugs, I did. It was all the lies I was forced to say so I can use dope is a real rotten part of addiction. The lies I told myself are worse.
I would find a way to justify my drinking for every occasion that I thought might make jittery. Whatever it took to protect my using drugs, I did. It was all the lies I was forced to say so I can use dope is a real rotten part of addiction. The lies I told myself are worse.
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