Early Mornings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Early Mornings
Hi All,
I have over 6 years sober but struggle with thoughts of mortality, loneliness (depression) in the early mornings. My view is that it's due to having so many conscious hours on my hands, hours to fill, I rise early and I've always struggled a bit with filling the time. I'm looking for inspiration, what do those with long term sobriety do in the early mornings or when lonely thoughts kick in?
I think I may take up a musical instrument, I already tried a new language. Don't get me wrong, I fill my life with a lot of healthy stuff but I still get these invasive thoughts, of the "big nothing"/"impending disaster".
Maybe, I'm depressed but I don't think so.
Regards
D
I have over 6 years sober but struggle with thoughts of mortality, loneliness (depression) in the early mornings. My view is that it's due to having so many conscious hours on my hands, hours to fill, I rise early and I've always struggled a bit with filling the time. I'm looking for inspiration, what do those with long term sobriety do in the early mornings or when lonely thoughts kick in?
I think I may take up a musical instrument, I already tried a new language. Don't get me wrong, I fill my life with a lot of healthy stuff but I still get these invasive thoughts, of the "big nothing"/"impending disaster".
Maybe, I'm depressed but I don't think so.
Regards
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
Hey B0gler
congrats on 6 years +
If it is loneliness perhaps making connections with over people will help? I know of a few early morning groups near me - there's a group that goes swimming early in the morning, there's also a group I know that walks around the shopping centre before the shops open.
There's yet another group round here that does Yoga and Tai Chi in the park.
Obviously these may not appeal to you - but there may be other early morning groups you could join maybe?
D
congrats on 6 years +
If it is loneliness perhaps making connections with over people will help? I know of a few early morning groups near me - there's a group that goes swimming early in the morning, there's also a group I know that walks around the shopping centre before the shops open.
There's yet another group round here that does Yoga and Tai Chi in the park.
Obviously these may not appeal to you - but there may be other early morning groups you could join maybe?
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,244
6 years of awesome achievements.! 
Learning how to ride a motorcycle with classes
to get your endorsement to ride free in the wind.
Learn to play golf, getting your own clubs and
enjoy playing different courses.
Gardening which is what I do daily, building cinder
block raised gardens now. Transforming my backyard
into a lovely garden of paradise with lots of flowers
for each season and visiting garden centers.
Find something you are passionate about and
build upon it.
Learning how to ride a motorcycle with classes
to get your endorsement to ride free in the wind.
Learn to play golf, getting your own clubs and
enjoy playing different courses.
Gardening which is what I do daily, building cinder
block raised gardens now. Transforming my backyard
into a lovely garden of paradise with lots of flowers
for each season and visiting garden centers.
Find something you are passionate about and
build upon it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Dee, Kaily, ChloseRose and aasharon, thanks so much for your replies. Deeply appreciated. I need to take my efforts up another notch or two and find more fulfilling things to fill the hours. I played a lot of golf over the last few years but my friend and fellow-sober golfer had a serious mental health crisis and hasn't been able to play for around a year now. I really really miss the golf. Such a good game for a sober person. On the loneliness point, I am happily married (my marriage has benefitted hugely from my sobriety, it's never been stronger) and our son lives with us while he finished his degree, so it's not a physical loneliness more of a pointlessness feeling that I'll need to work on myself.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,955
Hi bOglerd, the musical instrument idea sounds like a brilliant plan. A friend of mine is a professional guitarist and he runs a school. His classes have a great social side.
I tried to learn sax during my drinking era 🤣 I didn’t have the staying power for much then, and I regret not learning. But you’ve got something about you to be 6+ years sober. Go for it and let us know how it goes 🙂
I tried to learn sax during my drinking era 🤣 I didn’t have the staying power for much then, and I regret not learning. But you’ve got something about you to be 6+ years sober. Go for it and let us know how it goes 🙂
Member
Join Date: Sep 2022
Posts: 115
Oh it's morning and I was just pondering the same thing? Why these thoughts come first thing? When I get my day going and get busy I'm ok. Maybe it's an early morning hunger? That what I was wondering just today.
Congrats on 6 years, and let us know what you end up with. I love all these other suggestions. I got a key board to tinker with to your same end, walking is always nice and reading. I got one of those paint by number things that's fun too!
Congrats on 6 years, and let us know what you end up with. I love all these other suggestions. I got a key board to tinker with to your same end, walking is always nice and reading. I got one of those paint by number things that's fun too!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
As a family, maybe you could try hiking or long walks in the morning to get the day started. I'm glad you're here and doing well. I think that recovery is an ongoing process for all of us.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
So...early mornings/first minutes awake have always been problematic for me. It's really the only time I ever feel out of control, mentally.
I know that there is a thing called awakening cortisol response or something similar. You can Google that...but essentially I wake up On Full ALERT! Every morning, since I was about eight years old. I drank partly to stop this. For long-term survival of the species it's a good adaptation - but it's not that helpful on the daily.
I don't know at this point how much of it is due to eight year old trauma (there was plenty) or whether it's now just a conditioned response. I can't separate them anymore.
What I do is 1.) Set an alarm, even if I don't have to get up. 2.) Turn on a light. 3.) Get out of bed and immediately go about doing the morning stuff. Face washing, turning on lights and computer. Plugging in the phone. Making coffee.
If I allow a thought to take hold in that millisecond between sleep and wake, I'm in trouble for the day. I tend to be like you and the first thought is, "OH NOES!!!!" ...and it's usually some existential thing. So - I get moving and don't stop for 15 minutes or so. Sometimes if a thought gets in there, I'll do a set of squats or jumping jacks. It's usually gone by then. I do not let a thought take hold or it will ruin my day!
Do not engage!
I know that there is a thing called awakening cortisol response or something similar. You can Google that...but essentially I wake up On Full ALERT! Every morning, since I was about eight years old. I drank partly to stop this. For long-term survival of the species it's a good adaptation - but it's not that helpful on the daily.
I don't know at this point how much of it is due to eight year old trauma (there was plenty) or whether it's now just a conditioned response. I can't separate them anymore.
What I do is 1.) Set an alarm, even if I don't have to get up. 2.) Turn on a light. 3.) Get out of bed and immediately go about doing the morning stuff. Face washing, turning on lights and computer. Plugging in the phone. Making coffee.
If I allow a thought to take hold in that millisecond between sleep and wake, I'm in trouble for the day. I tend to be like you and the first thought is, "OH NOES!!!!" ...and it's usually some existential thing. So - I get moving and don't stop for 15 minutes or so. Sometimes if a thought gets in there, I'll do a set of squats or jumping jacks. It's usually gone by then. I do not let a thought take hold or it will ruin my day!
Do not engage!Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,172
Originally Posted by b0glerd69 
Don't get me wrong, I fill my life with a lot of healthy stuff but I still get these invasive thoughts, of the "big nothing"/"impending disaster".
You are doing most things right, and I think you should focus on those. You seem quite "on track" to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Thanks everyone. I'll engage more here. I read daily but don't respond much. So much of what is said in these pages resonates with me. The improvement in my life that sobriety has brought has been immeasurable, I could write an essay on it, so I don't want to come across as negative about my sobriety in any way, I'm very protective of it and recognise that it probably saved my life! It certainly saved my marriage.
I am a born worrier, as biminimlue pointed out, early morning hours is maximum worry zone. I'll work on that a bit. Also trauma from the past has affected me (my father killed himself when I was 12) so I am constantly wrestling with thoughts relating to that, even now, more than 40 years later.
Earlier today, I eventually went and started to read one of the novels I got from my wife/son for Christmas and that helped. To tell the truth, I was basking in how crisis-free my life is now that the madness of alcoholism/moderation is behind me (said with no complacency).
I am a born worrier, as biminimlue pointed out, early morning hours is maximum worry zone. I'll work on that a bit. Also trauma from the past has affected me (my father killed himself when I was 12) so I am constantly wrestling with thoughts relating to that, even now, more than 40 years later.
Earlier today, I eventually went and started to read one of the novels I got from my wife/son for Christmas and that helped. To tell the truth, I was basking in how crisis-free my life is now that the madness of alcoholism/moderation is behind me (said with no complacency).
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,172
Originally Posted by b0glerd69
trauma from the past has affected me (my father killed himself when I was 12) so I am constantly wrestling with thoughts relating to that, even now, more than 40 years later.
Years ago, I was talking to a close friend who was obsessing over a personal issue, at least it was an issue for him. Much later, I asked him if he had sorted the thing out. His reply was that he was just obsessing as a way of torturing himself. That actually made sense to me. If you feel you need to be punished for something, even if you don't know what it is, and no one else is there to punish you, the only remedy may seem like you must punish yourself. The problem is that it isn't a remedy, and you don't even know if it's necessary.
The human mind is a great evolutionary advantage, but it includes many vestigial flaws. I doubt that my dog has as many crazy thoughts as I do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Mid-Atlantic states
Posts: 993
Hi there,
I have very similar feelings, and I don't think they have anything to do with sobriety. Some days just seem odd when I first wake up, and I do think about the things you said. I handle it by doing exactly what Bimini Blue said: I get active immediately and get my day started with all the little things that make me feel ready for the day.
I have very similar feelings, and I don't think they have anything to do with sobriety. Some days just seem odd when I first wake up, and I do think about the things you said. I handle it by doing exactly what Bimini Blue said: I get active immediately and get my day started with all the little things that make me feel ready for the day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2023
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 911
Originally Posted by ChloeRose63
I have cats and I sew. The cats keep me company and watch me sew!
I find animals can brighten your day in an instant.
I find animals can brighten your day in an instant.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
really it sounds to me more like you are needing something with purpose, meaning, significance of some sort. not just a time-filler.
and that is where folks usually suggest some kind of regular volunteer activity that is structured in that, for example, two mornings a week you volunteer at an animal shelter. or one morning you deliver meals-on-wheels. or you get training for helping at the info desk at a seniors’ centre.
something where you need to make a small commitment that ends up getting repaid in spades by satisfaction and knowing you’ve made a contribution.
and that is where folks usually suggest some kind of regular volunteer activity that is structured in that, for example, two mornings a week you volunteer at an animal shelter. or one morning you deliver meals-on-wheels. or you get training for helping at the info desk at a seniors’ centre.
something where you need to make a small commitment that ends up getting repaid in spades by satisfaction and knowing you’ve made a contribution.
-----------------& will be celebrating with a gym work out followed by a milk shake....24 evermore!
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