freedomfries

Scare me straight. I'm up for a charge that potentially carries a prison sentence. I don't think it'll happen if I keep my nose clean until then.

But if I get a few public intox charges before then, I could be f***ed.

I really need to be able to say to the judge I'm four months sober.

Everyone says I wouldn't survive prison. I don't know if they mean it literally. But basically I'm not built for that world.

What's it like being a soft target in prison>

freedomfries

My instinct is, at best, prison would be incredibly traumatizing and I'd dive into the bottle afterwards.

Steely

No horror stories Freedom.

Just get sober and go to court with 4 months under your belt.

What else can can I say?

fishkiller

In my case nothing scared me away from my next high.
I even did a mandatory Scared Straight program at the state prison where we seen some messed up stuff and we were only there for the day. We were protected as we were youths but you got a real good picture of what it was like.
Left the place and a couple weeks later was back to the old ways.

I hope you make out ok at court but nothing I can say will get you sober.

suki44883

No horror stories about prison here. The one night I spent in jail for a DWI back in 2006 was enough to convince me I wanted no part of it. Still took another two years before I quit drinking, but I never again got behind the wheel after drinking.

freedomfries

I just want to completely eliminate prison as an option. The AV says 'prison will fix me'. I know it wouldn't though. My drinking would get worse after. And I hate being stuck in the psych ward or even the drunk tank for a few hours.

Then the psychosis says 'maybe you'd be brutally assaulted in prison and it would pacify the people watching you and they'd leave you alone' but I dunno if there are people watching me.

freedomfries

The AV is so dumb. So much is at stake. I barely like drinking anymore and when I do enjoy it, I enjoy the second and third can but it's just misery after.

freedomfries

I wish I had an appt with the probation officer coming up soon. He can lay things out for me. And hopefully assign conditions that'd help me stay sober. I dunno if Ireland does the AA signing thing but if he told me to do 90 in 90 I would be honest and do it. It'd be easier knowing I have to,

fishkiller

One thing you do Know is where drinking will get you.

Bekindalways

Hey you can make the promise of 90 in 90 to us if you want. Sometimes just telling you lot that I'm going to do a few useful thing in the next 15 minutes helps me get after it.

Courage to you Freedom.

suki44883

Have you tried calling your probation officer? Maybe he could talk about it with you over the phone, or possibly find a way to fit you into his schedule. It's worth a try. If not, the 90 in 90 sounds like an excellent option even if you aren't forced to do it. It shows initiative.

freedomfries

That's an idea. I could ask him what sorts of things he'll want me to do. 90 in 90 could be good. Like if I spend an hour at an AA zoom meeting in the morning, maybe I won't want to throw that time away by drinking.

freedomfries

hospitals, cells, court. They're all awful. And even one day drinking leaves me horrible anxiety the morning after.

freedomfries

I'm worried my probation officer will want me to see a health board addiction counselor. I was seeing one and I just thought he was plotting against me and I was so paranoid through our sessions and just wanted to drink.

Steely

I can't see how a probation officer telling you to do 90 in 90 is going to really get you sober Freedom. You've got to want it for yourself, and this is one of those occasions.

I can definitely see 4 months giving you a good start, that's for sure!

You would be in control, not some probation officer, or anyone else. It would be YOU making correct decisions about yourself, and your future.

And that's what it's about.

Same for me with 'enjoying' the first drink, sorta. I'm always trepidatious when I put that first glass to my lips. What gonna happen?! ALWAYS a horror story, only not in gaol.

I think you have to learn to manage the psychosis sober, Freedom. Collaboration with mental health team. Adjust medication?

Alcohol is not an anti psychotic as you well know, and will only add to the brain spin. Give the 4 months a go Freedom. We will back you up.

Kick off today Freedom.

Dee74

Steely’s right FF. Why not go all in and speak with your Doctors therapists and whoever else you need to see to get well and stay that way. Showing that kind of initiative could count for a lot.

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

Jails, institutions, and death.
Go to AA. Go to a doctor and/or therapist. And find spirituality so you never have to take that first drink.

Oglsby

I spent one night (well, 24 hour period) in Jail and it was extremely unpleasant. Not because of the inmates, it was more about the literal lack of freedom. Time goes by very slowly, they are usually not very clean, and they are not built to be comfortable or make a person feel at ease. It was palpable. Also, obviously you are not treated very well in there. Inmates are at all levels of functioning/anger/withdrawal/suicidality/etc etc. The police in there are hardened because their jobs are hard and some of them are just flatly mean. That said........................

............I have to agree with everyone else. Ultimately, even jail will not make you sober. You have four months, which is a LONG time, in which you can not drink, work on yourself, see your doctors, have some therapy, and do lots of other things that could be presented to a probation officer as proof that you are trying. I know a friend who is undergoing a DUI right now and basically the police/system/etc just wants to see that the person is making some sort of real effort. If not, why we expect any of it to be effective.

If you are just looking for us folks to scare you about jail, I don' really think that's healthy at all, and surely not something we would do when what we want most for you is sobriety. So commit to be sober. I echo Steely, Dee, and everyone else: You MUST want sobriety for yourself, not for any other reason than you feel like your worth it. We feel like you;'re worth it.

freedomfries

i had a psych appt recently and they didn't adjust my meds even though I was sharing all my paranoid thoughts and suicidality. I dunno if I trust them at all that they want to help me.

freedomfries

I wish I could trust the professionals.