father son and sons GF
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2023
Posts: 2
father son and sons GF
This summer right after July 4, my spouse had a sudden personality change and raged for 2 days about me not contributing to the mortgage out in front of our house. The catalyst for this is me getting something out of the cellar but in the process i moved something so he insisted i went though his things- even though these things are also my things we are married over 20 years.
(By the way I carry a mortgage on another house we own, I provide all dry store and food items in our current home where this happened, pay the gas bill, internet and garbage pick up for both houses, AND take care of any of our kids needs, I also take care of his stepfather - so my point is I absolutely contribute. I work 40+ hr weeks at the hospital as an endoscopy RN.) He carried on loudly every neighbor heard him say i dont contribute, and watch him carry things to the driveway because he was 'getting rid of me".
By August, my spouses son who is 40 years old, and his girlfriend (36) became so addicted to crack that they are no longer able to care for their 6 year old, who now is in custody of girlfriends father and wife. The day GFs father took the girl from our driveway, son and girlfriend were SO IMPAIRED they could not stand straight, they had driven with the kid this way, my spouse INSISTED they were fine, there was noting wrong with them, its a misunderstanding.
4 or 5 family court dates later these 2 are still not in treatment, see kid rarely as they didnt want to go to her dads.
PRIOR TO THIS - the addict GF was always dropping of the child because she had to go see her mother- I said dont she want to see her grandmother? GF said she dont like to bring her there (insert LIE of some kind)
I say to spouse "Why is she always dropping this child here to go to her moms?", almost daily occurrence.. SPOUSE says "That kid can come here whenever she wants!! and barks down my throat
I say thats not the point of course she is welcome its just weird -spouse accuses me of not liking the gril who is very likeable. Come to find out that she is getting drugs and spending all money and trading electronics that belong to the kid etc. My SPOUSE now in mental health treatment and has prescriptions that make him sleep, as he wouldnt for days and he was paranoid, once distanced self from son and GF now is taking addict son with him to work as a volunteer helper at the church he works at- instead of encouraging him to get a paying job- what a mess -spouse denies this forever but i once witnessed him give the neighborhood pill pusher a bill for a pill. He said No HE WAS RETURNING A SAW I LOANED HIM but i had watched the car pull up, the kid get out, the bill passed and the pill given. OMG why am i here, I am planning a getaway but fear the father in law will die of neglect he is already being exploited.
(By the way I carry a mortgage on another house we own, I provide all dry store and food items in our current home where this happened, pay the gas bill, internet and garbage pick up for both houses, AND take care of any of our kids needs, I also take care of his stepfather - so my point is I absolutely contribute. I work 40+ hr weeks at the hospital as an endoscopy RN.) He carried on loudly every neighbor heard him say i dont contribute, and watch him carry things to the driveway because he was 'getting rid of me".
By August, my spouses son who is 40 years old, and his girlfriend (36) became so addicted to crack that they are no longer able to care for their 6 year old, who now is in custody of girlfriends father and wife. The day GFs father took the girl from our driveway, son and girlfriend were SO IMPAIRED they could not stand straight, they had driven with the kid this way, my spouse INSISTED they were fine, there was noting wrong with them, its a misunderstanding.
4 or 5 family court dates later these 2 are still not in treatment, see kid rarely as they didnt want to go to her dads.
PRIOR TO THIS - the addict GF was always dropping of the child because she had to go see her mother- I said dont she want to see her grandmother? GF said she dont like to bring her there (insert LIE of some kind)
I say to spouse "Why is she always dropping this child here to go to her moms?", almost daily occurrence.. SPOUSE says "That kid can come here whenever she wants!! and barks down my throat
I say thats not the point of course she is welcome its just weird -spouse accuses me of not liking the gril who is very likeable. Come to find out that she is getting drugs and spending all money and trading electronics that belong to the kid etc. My SPOUSE now in mental health treatment and has prescriptions that make him sleep, as he wouldnt for days and he was paranoid, once distanced self from son and GF now is taking addict son with him to work as a volunteer helper at the church he works at- instead of encouraging him to get a paying job- what a mess -spouse denies this forever but i once witnessed him give the neighborhood pill pusher a bill for a pill. He said No HE WAS RETURNING A SAW I LOANED HIM but i had watched the car pull up, the kid get out, the bill passed and the pill given. OMG why am i here, I am planning a getaway but fear the father in law will die of neglect he is already being exploited.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,457
Hello and welcome FedUp
I'm sorry for what brings you here but I know you'll find support here.
I think 'planning a getaway' is a good idea for you and the onlyreal viable path for the future for you...
I realise that probably wont be good for your FIL but it sounds like he would be better off being cared for professionally somewhere else in the community?.
D
I'm sorry for what brings you here but I know you'll find support here.
I think 'planning a getaway' is a good idea for you and the onlyreal viable path for the future for you...
I realise that probably wont be good for your FIL but it sounds like he would be better off being cared for professionally somewhere else in the community?.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 291
I would agree, you should try and free yourself from this situation.
I know that where I live in UK, if I had any concerns for an adult, Social Services can be called. This could be an option for you, especially if he is being exploited.
Sorry you find yourself faced with all this.
Much Love
Bute x
I know that where I live in UK, if I had any concerns for an adult, Social Services can be called. This could be an option for you, especially if he is being exploited.
Sorry you find yourself faced with all this.
Much Love
Bute x
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