Strawbz11

Ughh during my time recovering from an abusive relationship with an alcoholic I made the error of giving a person online a chance thinking they may be nice.

He was a friend of a friend. Nice enough looking. Seemed down to earth. I am not looking for a relationship but was open to seeing how it went.

Only a few weeks in to chatting i was warned by someone he

Has no teeth
He's on methadone
He doesn't look like his photos
he's got 5 children with 4 women and hardly sees them.
20 year heroin habit.
lived with his mum and currently not working.

I've told him I'm not ready for a relationship and I've really discouraged him several times. But without fail hes texting me everyday. He texts me like we are a couple. Yesterday I went out with a friend and when I replied and said I'd had a nice say he said he's so proud of me and it makes him happy knowing I'm happy.

hes a lovely person but his life is really not set up and I feel he's got an unhealthy attachment to me. If I just ignored him would I be cruel? I feel like I've got to get rid of him. What if I actually meet someone I want to connect with and he's going to then feel I've played games or im going to have problems explaining to people who his guy is.

I am too polite and I have let this go on since September!

Seren

Perhaps it is time to tell him the truth? It can be done in kindness. I've learned that because I hate to hurt anyone's feelings, and so I have also let a conversation go on with a man in the past for too long because I couldn't speak up. Unfortunately for me, it typically would end in anger--which is so unnecessary. I know this is hard. I used to give myself horrible stomach aches just thinking about having to have this sort of conversation with a man. Just remember...your comfort and happiness are important. Don't sacrifice your own to make his. Codie 101.

Just calmly explain that you don't think the friendship/relationship is working for you, that you are going to see other people. Don't explain, don't justify...often the other person will argue back and try to change your mind. That's just prolonging any pain that may occur.

VikingGF

ALARM BELLS are ringing in my ears so loudly. A quick goodbye- and block, block, block. Love bomber- just waiting for an opportunity. My opinion is harsh- I get it, but it is what it is. Just looking at the list- what does he have to offer? Any relationship has to be balanced- he sounds like a poor match for you. Don't be nice, he will just cling to you. Cut the cord.

You have been through enough, Strawbz. Set him free and don't look back.

trailmix

I agree. I would let him know (that's kind).