Need help trying to care for my brother who is an alcoholic.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2022
Posts: 1
Need help trying to care for my brother who is an alcoholic.
Hi everyone. I’m new here, but I’m desperate for help.
My brother who is 27 succumbed to heavy drinking roughly a year ago. My family and I didn’t know this was going on. We found out after he collapsed at work and had a seizure and was sent to the hospital a week before Christmas.
We thought maybe he had gotten better after this because we thought ending up in the hospital would be a wake up call. Well then a couple months ago, he ended up in the hospital again because he had another seizure. This time the doctor told us there was a 20% chance he wasn’t going to make it because he developed pneumonia at the same time as well. He pulled through though but was slammed with a $90,000 hospital bill. My family and I thought for sure this would be a wake up call.
A week ago my brother was arrested for DUI.
We live together so it’s mind boggling to me that he can keep drinking like this and I can’t even tell! My family and I even purchased a breathalyzer and every time I’ve done a surprise test on my brother, the results came back as 0.0 every time.
I’m essentially his care taker right now since we live together. But it’s really starting to take a toll on me. Because he can’t drive for the time being due to the DUI, I’m having to take him to work and pick him up every day. And I’m trying to monitor him as closely as possible. I can barely sleep at night because I’m so worried about him.
So my question is, are there any government assistance programs out there that could assist me? For example, I know if you’re someone who is taking care of an elderly parent, you can receive monetary compensation from the government for doing that. Is there anything similar for someone assisting a family member struggling with addiction? Something like that would be a life saver in my current situation so that I can focus on helping him. The rest of our family lives 2 hours away so I’m pretty much all on my own trying to help him.
Thanks for listening to me everyone!
My brother who is 27 succumbed to heavy drinking roughly a year ago. My family and I didn’t know this was going on. We found out after he collapsed at work and had a seizure and was sent to the hospital a week before Christmas.
We thought maybe he had gotten better after this because we thought ending up in the hospital would be a wake up call. Well then a couple months ago, he ended up in the hospital again because he had another seizure. This time the doctor told us there was a 20% chance he wasn’t going to make it because he developed pneumonia at the same time as well. He pulled through though but was slammed with a $90,000 hospital bill. My family and I thought for sure this would be a wake up call.
A week ago my brother was arrested for DUI.
We live together so it’s mind boggling to me that he can keep drinking like this and I can’t even tell! My family and I even purchased a breathalyzer and every time I’ve done a surprise test on my brother, the results came back as 0.0 every time.
I’m essentially his care taker right now since we live together. But it’s really starting to take a toll on me. Because he can’t drive for the time being due to the DUI, I’m having to take him to work and pick him up every day. And I’m trying to monitor him as closely as possible. I can barely sleep at night because I’m so worried about him.
So my question is, are there any government assistance programs out there that could assist me? For example, I know if you’re someone who is taking care of an elderly parent, you can receive monetary compensation from the government for doing that. Is there anything similar for someone assisting a family member struggling with addiction? Something like that would be a life saver in my current situation so that I can focus on helping him. The rest of our family lives 2 hours away so I’m pretty much all on my own trying to help him.
Thanks for listening to me everyone!
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Cco, and Welcome! Although we really are sorry for what brings you here.
The short answer, there is not a government program of that sort.
Addiction is a horrendous family disorder (or disease if you prefer). Has your brother stated that he wants to stop drinking? Has he sought help on his own by way of counseling or AA or some other method? Has he taken responsibility at all yet for his own outcome?
I ask because addiction is progressive unless and until the alcoholic themselves decides to stop. I have lived through many hospital visits, rehabs, sober-living facilities, jails, with my stepson. His ultimate brain injury and near-death hospitalization finally stopped him, but I still do not trust it 100%.
How can you help your brother? Still encourage him to seek help, but perhaps you can consider that your roll is not what you think it should be. Here is a link to a reading that helped me tremendously when I first joined SR. It was written by a social worker who deals with addiction and alcoholism in families.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...l-problem.html (10 Ways Family Members Can Help a Loved One with a Drug or Alcohol Problem)
I hope you will stick around, read everything you can, and educate yourself about addiction. Please reach out here any time!
The short answer, there is not a government program of that sort.
Addiction is a horrendous family disorder (or disease if you prefer). Has your brother stated that he wants to stop drinking? Has he sought help on his own by way of counseling or AA or some other method? Has he taken responsibility at all yet for his own outcome?
I ask because addiction is progressive unless and until the alcoholic themselves decides to stop. I have lived through many hospital visits, rehabs, sober-living facilities, jails, with my stepson. His ultimate brain injury and near-death hospitalization finally stopped him, but I still do not trust it 100%.
How can you help your brother? Still encourage him to seek help, but perhaps you can consider that your roll is not what you think it should be. Here is a link to a reading that helped me tremendously when I first joined SR. It was written by a social worker who deals with addiction and alcoholism in families.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...l-problem.html (10 Ways Family Members Can Help a Loved One with a Drug or Alcohol Problem)
I hope you will stick around, read everything you can, and educate yourself about addiction. Please reach out here any time!
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