Mavericks

Hi all,
I'm trying hard to stay sober. I'm on day 5 this time. I'm fast approaching the age of 40 and I feel it's time for a big change. I'm planning a move early next year to follow a lifelong dream of mine.
I've had problems with alcohol for about 20 years now. There has been other substance abuse along the way but alcohol has been the worst of it.
I got sober earlier this year for a month but failed. I know the reasons why and I know what I need to do to stop myself making the same mistakes again. I've had longer stints in the past. I guess each time I've failed I can learn something from that.
I'm going to look at CBT as I've not tried that before.
I've come far too close to danger over the years and I'm tired of taking risks. I'm tired of not being the person I know I can be.
I look forward to getting help and getting to know you all better.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Mavericks - you’ll find a lot of support here

D

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you found us here.

SproutLife

Hey Mavericks, I never reply as Im new to the forum (not new to recovery lol), but i had to respond because I was like ahhh did I write that post? Im also almost 40, been stumbling since the begining of the year with some starts and stops and trying to identify my stumbling points. Its not easy! If you have any trick lets me know ha! I just keep trying to remember that feeling laying in bed with a hangover two days after my last binge more depressed and sad then any problem ever caused. Stupid alcohol.

Hope you have a fantastic day 6 with many more ahead.

AL48

Hi Mavericks. Glad you've found SR, It's been life changer for me, hope it will be for you too.

DriGuy

Cognitive Behavior Therapy. There are two, and probably only two ways to address the problems within ourselves. One is mostly cognitive (thinking our way to better understanding ourselves), and behavioral (just changing our behavior). My default in the past was always cognitive, self understanding that led to changes. But it didn't seem to work with alcoholism. What I found as my solution was to grab the bull by the horns so to speak, and simply change my behavior. Of course, this creates a whole physical and psychological mess as our body cries out for the alcohol it has come to depend on, and our mind starts rationalizing reasons to keep on drinking. I did process much of that cognitively, but only after I made the behavior change first. This was way out of my comfort zone. I liked thinking without having to do stuff. I could think about things for weeks without taking action. But this kind of therapy plays a smaller part in recovery, at least in mine. I found, at least in the early stages of recovery, that it was all about behavior change, and this part was harsh, but entirely necessary.

If you're interested in CBT, look into AVRT. It's quite popular around here, and involves learning how to acknowledge the psycho babble of your AV (Addictive Voice), and simply go forward with the desired change you NEED to make. It's a very direct path to sobriety (and many of our other personal flaws). You can still do the thinking part, but with a clear head after you quit drinking. As you know by now, approaching things logically is not enhanced by staying in an addictive state. So if you remain in the addictive cycle, you can think until the cows come home, and think your way into perpetuating that addictive cycle, rather than breaking out of it.

Recovery involves serious behavior change. CBT lends itself to that.

fishkiller

Welcome Maverick!
I knew at your age, actually even earlier, that I had a problem
Unfortunately I didn't address it until over 10 years later. 10 wasted years, literally.
Don't be like that guy.

I drank for over 30 years.
I've been sober for almost 3.

It can be done.

I like AVRT. Gives me the tools to fight off that voice that lies and says just one, well only a couple, we are not that bad he drinks way more than us, I'll only drink on special occasions, I'll only drink on weekends, your gonna fail eventually so why bother? Lets have a drink, etc etc.
All LIES!

When the cravings kick in and that voice gets unbearable the only thing left is Just Don't Drink Today.
No Matter What

After a couple months my AV got quiet. It is almost non existent now.
I can focus on living now instead of drinking. Which isnt living at all.

Zencat

to SoberRecovery Mavericks and SproutLife. SR members and your recovery plan will help you achieve your sobriety goals. Glad to have both of you here 😊

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

Nonsensical

Do we really need another alcoholic trying to get their life together on this forum?

YOU'RE DARN RIGHT WE DO!

Welcome!

dustyfox

You can do it. And you will find lots of support here.

Bobbieka

Welcome aboard, Mavericks! Good to have you here. You got this.
Great job on 5 days, you're off to a great start!

Hevyn

Great to meet you, Mavericks! You too, Sproutlife.

You are both way wiser than me. I kept going with my drinking all through my 40's and way beyond. I kept insisting I could manage it, could use willpower to just have a few - and it never worked. After 30 yrs. I was dependent on it & it was part of everything I did. I made things so much harder on myself by not admitting I could never be a social drinker. I'm so glad you're here for encouragement & reassurance. You will do this!

Congrats on your 5 days, Mavericks.

Mavericks

Thank you so much to everyone for the moral support, sharing similar stories and solid advice. I truly appreciate it.

Hevyn

Not feeling alone anymore was everything to me. None of my friends or family could really understand.

SouthernSober

Welcome. Keep coming back.

Dee74

Welcome to you too Sproutlife

D

Purplrks3647

Welcome Mavericks and well done on day 5!

KTB5000

Welcome Mavericks
💛

Robbie64

Welcome to SoberRecovery Mavericks