4 month check-in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
4 month check-in
Heading into my 5th month of sobriety, I’m thinking about a few aspects of my life that have taken a 180 degree turn since I committed myself to recovery. I thought that I’d list them here in case there are other members feeling some of the same things.
Isolation/Avoidance – I used to “check out” in the evenings, just me and my six-pack pacifier. Didn’t respond to phone calls or texts from friends or family until the next day. Made up excuses as to why I didn’t. Not the case anymore. I’m available if I’m needed. No checking my phone in the morning, worrying that there might have been an emergency that I didn’t respond to.
Shame – The morning ritual of tallying up the beer can count, thoroughly rinsing the cans and crushing them in the recycling bin. Hiding the evidence. Turning off Location Services on my phone when I went to the liquor store. This extra physical and mental effort goes away when you have nothing to hide.
Mindlessness – Just robotically going through the motions of my day-to-day existence. Letting things slide. Going from point A to point B without stopping to think why. Seeing things in black and white, with no subtlety, or shades of gray. I can’t really explain this phenomenon, and what specifically has changed, but it 100% has. My brain is functioning so much better now and I’m slowing down and living in the moment.
Lethargy – Skipping workouts, spending evenings on the couch watching mindless TV shows, procrastinating. Complete opposite now. Plenty of energy.
Futility/Emptiness/Negativity – All of this is bundled into the ‘living in opposition to your soul’ category. Knowing that you are on the wrong path but staying on it anyway. The misery of this type of existence, day after day, year after year. This has transformed completely. I’m truly the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m at peace.
For those of you struggling, there is light on the other side. You’re not too old, too broken, too anything, to reap the benefits of stopping drinking today. Give sobriety a chance. Get the poison out of your body, give your body some time to heal, and then start living the life you want to live. One small step at a time. What do you have to lose? I listed some of those things above, and I’m sure that you have many, many more. What do you have to gain? The rest of your life.
Isolation/Avoidance – I used to “check out” in the evenings, just me and my six-pack pacifier. Didn’t respond to phone calls or texts from friends or family until the next day. Made up excuses as to why I didn’t. Not the case anymore. I’m available if I’m needed. No checking my phone in the morning, worrying that there might have been an emergency that I didn’t respond to.
Shame – The morning ritual of tallying up the beer can count, thoroughly rinsing the cans and crushing them in the recycling bin. Hiding the evidence. Turning off Location Services on my phone when I went to the liquor store. This extra physical and mental effort goes away when you have nothing to hide.
Mindlessness – Just robotically going through the motions of my day-to-day existence. Letting things slide. Going from point A to point B without stopping to think why. Seeing things in black and white, with no subtlety, or shades of gray. I can’t really explain this phenomenon, and what specifically has changed, but it 100% has. My brain is functioning so much better now and I’m slowing down and living in the moment.
Lethargy – Skipping workouts, spending evenings on the couch watching mindless TV shows, procrastinating. Complete opposite now. Plenty of energy.
Futility/Emptiness/Negativity – All of this is bundled into the ‘living in opposition to your soul’ category. Knowing that you are on the wrong path but staying on it anyway. The misery of this type of existence, day after day, year after year. This has transformed completely. I’m truly the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m at peace.
For those of you struggling, there is light on the other side. You’re not too old, too broken, too anything, to reap the benefits of stopping drinking today. Give sobriety a chance. Get the poison out of your body, give your body some time to heal, and then start living the life you want to live. One small step at a time. What do you have to lose? I listed some of those things above, and I’m sure that you have many, many more. What do you have to gain? The rest of your life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Fantastic job, CP. You really grabbed the bull by the horns and owned it this time, and are now reaping the rewards. I experienced all of those negative effects also, and the overwhelming realization I had was how self-medicating with alcohol simply allowed so much of life to pass me by - without ever confronting my demons or making the changes I needed to make to have a more authentic and fulfilled life. One with real meaning. As you say though, it is never too late.
Great job, friend. You are on the road less traveled now.
Great job, friend. You are on the road less traveled now.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,585
4 months! ClearPath that is wonderful.
Your list of things that have changed - I can relate to every single one. We can never have too many reminders of what we pulled ourselves out of.
Your list of things that have changed - I can relate to every single one. We can never have too many reminders of what we pulled ourselves out of.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
So great, CPath. Welcome to your LAST month 5.
i can totally relate, jumping off the wheel of shame and guilt is wonderful, not easy at first (90 days rough for me) but oh, the places we can go, the things we can do now.
i can totally relate, jumping off the wheel of shame and guilt is wonderful, not easy at first (90 days rough for me) but oh, the places we can go, the things we can do now.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,982
Thank you for your thoughtful post Clear. I can relate to walking out of the darkness and into the light of recovery. You are right, things do become more in focus with the light of sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
Congratulations! I was just thinking today about something you said, which is how nice it is to not need to check in with myself in the mornings to see what lies and misdirection I need to keep up... Drinking turned us into liars, and now we can be free of that.
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