When did it click? When was it enough.
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When did it click? When was it enough.
When did it click for you, what was that defining moment/day/experience when you thought, enough. Time to stop.
For many of us, I am guessing, stopping takes a while. In my case a lot of years of not even trying to stop and then a few years of half hearted attempts which were ever more painful and ever more dispiriting
But one day it clicked.
No amount of telling someone they should stop drinking works, it seems it has to come from the person themselves and they need to own the desire to stop drinking. How does that happen. How did we stop.
Believing I had caused myself severe illness I sought out help, for the first time, on line and reading here on SR was my road to Damascus, a realisation that I wanted to stop, that I could stop.
Only by immersing myself in the language of recovery with others who were recovering could I feel that I was supported and safe from relapse. For me holding myself accountable here and reading of the struggles and success and failure of others was enough to help me, it was and is the emotional scaffolding that helps me still.
Never give up trying, for in my experience , and I speak only for myself , trying and failing , failing and trying all build towards solid success. Day one is a good beginning and even if it takes many 'day one's', the effort to stop and build on day one is worth it.
I am thankful for the day it 'clicked ' for me . I suppose I wish it had come sooner, but I guess sooner never worked. I am grateful to be where I am.
For many of us, I am guessing, stopping takes a while. In my case a lot of years of not even trying to stop and then a few years of half hearted attempts which were ever more painful and ever more dispiriting
But one day it clicked.
No amount of telling someone they should stop drinking works, it seems it has to come from the person themselves and they need to own the desire to stop drinking. How does that happen. How did we stop.
Believing I had caused myself severe illness I sought out help, for the first time, on line and reading here on SR was my road to Damascus, a realisation that I wanted to stop, that I could stop.
Only by immersing myself in the language of recovery with others who were recovering could I feel that I was supported and safe from relapse. For me holding myself accountable here and reading of the struggles and success and failure of others was enough to help me, it was and is the emotional scaffolding that helps me still.
Never give up trying, for in my experience , and I speak only for myself , trying and failing , failing and trying all build towards solid success. Day one is a good beginning and even if it takes many 'day one's', the effort to stop and build on day one is worth it.
I am thankful for the day it 'clicked ' for me . I suppose I wish it had come sooner, but I guess sooner never worked. I am grateful to be where I am.
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It took me hitting a bottom that was scary, I thought I was going to die. The neurological effects of alcohol poisoning kept me in bed for three days, unable to walk without holding on to counters or chairs. Unable to type as my shakes were so bad. I did this to myself and felt my end was near. I couldn't even brush my teeth as it would make me wretch and dry heave. I have never been so sick. I even had to sit on the toilet while grabbing my trash can to puke in.
I guess you'd say that one day it clicked with me by reaching my point of done. I did the damage all on my own. But I've been good since recovering. I sleep better than I can recall. I've got amazing spurts of energy. I still get tired and am trying to build up my strength and stamina. I'm getting my life and things sorted out, organized and Marie Kondo'ed. It feels good. Sobriety feels good. I am back.
I guess you'd say that one day it clicked with me by reaching my point of done. I did the damage all on my own. But I've been good since recovering. I sleep better than I can recall. I've got amazing spurts of energy. I still get tired and am trying to build up my strength and stamina. I'm getting my life and things sorted out, organized and Marie Kondo'ed. It feels good. Sobriety feels good. I am back.
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Originally Posted by dustyfox 
When did it click for you, what was that defining moment/day/experience when you thought, enough. Time to stop.
For many of us, I am guessing, stopping takes a while. In my case a lot of years of not even trying to stop and then a few years of half hearted attempts which were ever more painful and ever more dispiriting
But one day it clicked.
No amount of telling someone they should stop drinking works, it seems it has to come from the person themselves and they need to own the desire to stop drinking. How does that happen. How did we stop.
Believing I had caused myself severe illness I sought out help, for the first time, on line and reading here on SR was my road to Damascus, a realisation that I wanted to stop, that I could stop.
Only by immersing myself in the language of recovery with others who were recovering could I feel that I was supported and safe from relapse. For me holding myself accountable here and reading of the struggles and success and failure of others was enough to help me, it was and is the emotional scaffolding that helps me still.
Never give up trying, for in my experience , and I speak only for myself , trying and failing , failing and trying all build towards solid success. Day one is a good beginning and even if it takes many 'day one's', the effort to stop and build on day one is worth it.
I am thankful for the day it 'clicked ' for me . I suppose I wish it had come sooner, but I guess sooner never worked. I am grateful to be where I am.
For many of us, I am guessing, stopping takes a while. In my case a lot of years of not even trying to stop and then a few years of half hearted attempts which were ever more painful and ever more dispiriting
But one day it clicked.
No amount of telling someone they should stop drinking works, it seems it has to come from the person themselves and they need to own the desire to stop drinking. How does that happen. How did we stop.
Believing I had caused myself severe illness I sought out help, for the first time, on line and reading here on SR was my road to Damascus, a realisation that I wanted to stop, that I could stop.
Only by immersing myself in the language of recovery with others who were recovering could I feel that I was supported and safe from relapse. For me holding myself accountable here and reading of the struggles and success and failure of others was enough to help me, it was and is the emotional scaffolding that helps me still.
Never give up trying, for in my experience , and I speak only for myself , trying and failing , failing and trying all build towards solid success. Day one is a good beginning and even if it takes many 'day one's', the effort to stop and build on day one is worth it.
I am thankful for the day it 'clicked ' for me . I suppose I wish it had come sooner, but I guess sooner never worked. I am grateful to be where I am.
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Great thread. For me, my trip to Leavenworth (a town 120 miles from Seattle modeled like a German village) in November 2021 was the last straw.
Even before the trip, I had relapsed more than 100 times last year. In that trip with two other families, I drank a lot and started saying gibberish in front of everyone and pretty much got embarrassed though it was not too bad.
My wife on the drive back said , the kids look up to you - pls act responsibly. That's all it took, I came home and decided that enough was enough. I have had my share of drinking fun, no more. But again on Nov 11, after the trip, I got my usual two large beers and started guzzling. What my wife said a couple of days earlier kinda ringed hard and I didn't like the drink anymore. I poured most of them out. That was it. I had lots of cravings , and still do but I know drinking is not an option for me. I don't like the poisonous chemical anymore. Thanks for reading.
Even before the trip, I had relapsed more than 100 times last year. In that trip with two other families, I drank a lot and started saying gibberish in front of everyone and pretty much got embarrassed though it was not too bad.
My wife on the drive back said , the kids look up to you - pls act responsibly. That's all it took, I came home and decided that enough was enough. I have had my share of drinking fun, no more. But again on Nov 11, after the trip, I got my usual two large beers and started guzzling. What my wife said a couple of days earlier kinda ringed hard and I didn't like the drink anymore. I poured most of them out. That was it. I had lots of cravings , and still do but I know drinking is not an option for me. I don't like the poisonous chemical anymore. Thanks for reading.
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Like millions of others before me, I assumed I’d be able to drink occasionally after cutting down. I did actually cut down for a year but still had binges plus I never felt satisfied by my reduced intake - that’s a real danger sign. I then tried some pills called Campril which reduce alcohol cravings. Certainly in the U.K., to get hold of Campril is a lengthy process. It’s not available online which is odd as it’s not particularly dangerous to my knowledge. Instead I had to go to my GP, get referred to a counsellor, get prescribed Campril and only then could I order these tablets from a pharmacy. The problem with Campril is it also requires willpower plus at least a few weeks of sobriety first. If you’re going to drink, Campril will have no effect. But it was such a pain in the behind to get hold of the tablets, I decided I didn’t want to go through all that again and quit once and for all.
The irony is I only took Campril for a few weeks, and that wasn’t even long enough to have an effect. However, it changed my mindset from someone who would’ve tried (and failed) moderation to someone who quit for good.
The irony is I only took Campril for a few weeks, and that wasn’t even long enough to have an effect. However, it changed my mindset from someone who would’ve tried (and failed) moderation to someone who quit for good.
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One morning I realised I had to drink before 7 am if I wanted to mitigate the withdrawal symptoms that had started. Either I chose to go (yet) another step down in my addiction journey drinking every time of the day or I quit. I quit
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Too late to edit the above, but the real Damascus moment (to borrow dusty’s expression) was a planned get together with an ex. She’d done well in life and was still looking amazing in pictures. Me on the other hand, not forthcoming with pictures, hadn’t done much (a career doesn’t define us so I don’t care about that) and had become obese. She lives in a different part of the world but was frequently in the UK, but I’d made excuse after excuse for years about meeting up. I was ashamed of my size. One day, something inside me changed, and I thought I really wanted to meet up next time. If I only could lose just a few pounds, it’d help my confidence.
Surprisingly I found I enjoyed the gym and found I was actually almost feeling like the person I wanted to be. I started watching what I was eating and learned about calories. Annoying a 30-minute treadmill session, which I found very painful back then, only burned 400 calories. If I had a beer later, I’d add that back on. I had to cut down the booze.
Just to finish the ex story. We did finally meet up about ten months after me kicking off the new lifestyle. I was super slim by then, and I could see my life was actually pretty good. She did notice I was toned but never got to see the obese me. I lost interest in her after that (I am actually married!), but I have to acknowledge she the unwitting catalyst to me slimming down and later quitting alcohol.
Surprisingly I found I enjoyed the gym and found I was actually almost feeling like the person I wanted to be. I started watching what I was eating and learned about calories. Annoying a 30-minute treadmill session, which I found very painful back then, only burned 400 calories. If I had a beer later, I’d add that back on. I had to cut down the booze.
Just to finish the ex story. We did finally meet up about ten months after me kicking off the new lifestyle. I was super slim by then, and I could see my life was actually pretty good. She did notice I was toned but never got to see the obese me. I lost interest in her after that (I am actually married!), but I have to acknowledge she the unwitting catalyst to me slimming down and later quitting alcohol.
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Great question dusty!
My click came from the most unexpected place ever.
My drinking had been out of control, not as a few years before, when I used to drink daily, but more like excessive pass out drinks 2-3 time a week, but I was convinced that was “ok” (Mrs. P thought otherwise in silence, I later found out).
Then in November last year I had a month off with Mrs. P (sort of, because I, of course, cheated a few times). Now, during that month, I had what people
call a very intense transcendental experience with some sort of higher being (I still feel crazy when I say it, because I never believed in this stuff and it came out of nowhere, in an undeniable way).
When the drink free month ended I had a massive drinking weekend, but following my experience it was different than before, it felt wrong, very wrong, unusually wrong from the first sip. My addiction pushed it though, but by the end of the weekend the emptiness was so clear that I knew I was done with it.
A little mystical I guess, but that’s when the click happened, and I’m very, very, very grateful it did!
My click came from the most unexpected place ever.
My drinking had been out of control, not as a few years before, when I used to drink daily, but more like excessive pass out drinks 2-3 time a week, but I was convinced that was “ok” (Mrs. P thought otherwise in silence, I later found out).
Then in November last year I had a month off with Mrs. P (sort of, because I, of course, cheated a few times). Now, during that month, I had what people
call a very intense transcendental experience with some sort of higher being (I still feel crazy when I say it, because I never believed in this stuff and it came out of nowhere, in an undeniable way).
When the drink free month ended I had a massive drinking weekend, but following my experience it was different than before, it felt wrong, very wrong, unusually wrong from the first sip. My addiction pushed it though, but by the end of the weekend the emptiness was so clear that I knew I was done with it.
A little mystical I guess, but that’s when the click happened, and I’m very, very, very grateful it did!
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I had warning clicks for years. There were so many clicks for so long that I could describe it as a "buzz", and it's hard to separate a single click in a buzz. When I was a little kid, my father was telling me about alcoholics, and that the only way they could get better was by stopping completely. So I knew the most important thing that alcoholics must do practically my entire life. I don't know how many other people know this. They act like they don't, and that includes normies who tell their alcoholic friends, "Just cut back on your drinking." Instead of dealing with the issue, I just struggled through the buzz of clicks for 25 years, until things went south, and then I dealt with that crisis by struggling harder, while continually upping my alcohol intake. And all the while knowing alcoholics had to quit.
Finally, a bunch of things came together all at once in my search for help. I finally made it to 5 days without drinking (I was climbing the walls that day). A counselor refused to talk to me unless I went to AA, so I went to a meeting on day 5, reassuring myself that I could buy a bottle at a bar after the meeting. I met a variety of people that night, some struggling in the depths of despair, others in celebration of another sober night, and one old timer with 30 years, who was explaining the program to me, and casually added something that didn't seem to be all that important to him, at least unimportant compared to praying to a higher power, and doing the AA steps in the proper order. He mentioned as an afterthought, "The goal in AA was not to drink less, but to stop drinking entirely IF IT IS possible," something I already knew, but a minor point to him amid all the finer points of the AA program.
But that casual off hand remark jumped out at me. It was not an insight. It was almost unnoticeable affirmation of something I already knew. This wasn't like a loud click, but just decision to give abstinence an honest try. It was the most significant turning point in my battle with alcoholism. I was going to seriously try to stop drinking, not just until I had the mother of all cravings, but for good. With that decision, my struggle ended. It ended at that moment, that night, and I drove past the bar on the way home.
OK, sure, I still had little piddly ass struggles that were hardly worth talking about after that, but my struggle with drinking was over. All that was left to do was to learn, grow, pay attention to my life, and not drink, and although I didn't know it that night, I was about to meet my AV and its idiotic nonsense, which wasn't that big of an issue, because my AV was a big jerk, and easy to laugh off as a total fool.
Finally, a bunch of things came together all at once in my search for help. I finally made it to 5 days without drinking (I was climbing the walls that day). A counselor refused to talk to me unless I went to AA, so I went to a meeting on day 5, reassuring myself that I could buy a bottle at a bar after the meeting. I met a variety of people that night, some struggling in the depths of despair, others in celebration of another sober night, and one old timer with 30 years, who was explaining the program to me, and casually added something that didn't seem to be all that important to him, at least unimportant compared to praying to a higher power, and doing the AA steps in the proper order. He mentioned as an afterthought, "The goal in AA was not to drink less, but to stop drinking entirely IF IT IS possible," something I already knew, but a minor point to him amid all the finer points of the AA program.
But that casual off hand remark jumped out at me. It was not an insight. It was almost unnoticeable affirmation of something I already knew. This wasn't like a loud click, but just decision to give abstinence an honest try. It was the most significant turning point in my battle with alcoholism. I was going to seriously try to stop drinking, not just until I had the mother of all cravings, but for good. With that decision, my struggle ended. It ended at that moment, that night, and I drove past the bar on the way home.
OK, sure, I still had little piddly ass struggles that were hardly worth talking about after that, but my struggle with drinking was over. All that was left to do was to learn, grow, pay attention to my life, and not drink, and although I didn't know it that night, I was about to meet my AV and its idiotic nonsense, which wasn't that big of an issue, because my AV was a big jerk, and easy to laugh off as a total fool.
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Hodd, I remember this story about your ex from another thread and it really resonated with me then and still does.
It's strange isn't it that the views of people who are not close to us, or no longer so close, can have more impact than our family. I remember sitting outside a village pub one afternoon waiting for a train and getting a few drinks , this was a good twelve years ago , also smoking at that time, and some lads came and sat next to me, they were younger than me , friendly, chatting and then one of them said. 'You know you shouldn't drink as much, it's not doing you any favours' - he didn't say it in a nasty way, but just as a matter of fact - It hurt a lot!
It didn't make me give up drinking but pretty soon after that I gave up smoking. I am grateful to that lad for being brave enough to say it! I was probably old enough to be his mum and now I am so thankful to the higher power , that sometimes we are sent messages to help us, we just need to be open enough to hear them.
It's strange isn't it that the views of people who are not close to us, or no longer so close, can have more impact than our family. I remember sitting outside a village pub one afternoon waiting for a train and getting a few drinks , this was a good twelve years ago , also smoking at that time, and some lads came and sat next to me, they were younger than me , friendly, chatting and then one of them said. 'You know you shouldn't drink as much, it's not doing you any favours' - he didn't say it in a nasty way, but just as a matter of fact - It hurt a lot!
It didn't make me give up drinking but pretty soon after that I gave up smoking. I am grateful to that lad for being brave enough to say it! I was probably old enough to be his mum and now I am so thankful to the higher power , that sometimes we are sent messages to help us, we just need to be open enough to hear them.
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I tend to recycle my stories, dusty 
Your story about the young lad’s comment made me think of yet another recycled story of mine. Last year I saw a guy secretly swigging from a half bottle of vodka at 9am. I wanted to say something, but this was in a very rough part of the UK (where I grew up 🤣 ), and it could’ve turned out badly. If circumstances were different and I saw the same again, I might actually speak up. It may just get through.
Back to the ex story. I felt bad as maybe I should’ve changed my ways for the sake of my wife and not some ex. But I confided in someone about this, and they said it wasn’t unusual. People lose weight for school reunions, etc., so I was just doing the same. The end result is all that matters.
Well done to that young lad. His comment could’ve come across as cheeky or laddish, but it had an effect. Karma points to him.
Your story about the young lad’s comment made me think of yet another recycled story of mine. Last year I saw a guy secretly swigging from a half bottle of vodka at 9am. I wanted to say something, but this was in a very rough part of the UK (where I grew up 🤣 ), and it could’ve turned out badly. If circumstances were different and I saw the same again, I might actually speak up. It may just get through.
Back to the ex story. I felt bad as maybe I should’ve changed my ways for the sake of my wife and not some ex. But I confided in someone about this, and they said it wasn’t unusual. People lose weight for school reunions, etc., so I was just doing the same. The end result is all that matters.
Well done to that young lad. His comment could’ve come across as cheeky or laddish, but it had an effect. Karma points to him.
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When I realized I couldn't make a move without it or I'd shake & get sick. (There was always a drink on my bedside table that I'd sip on during the night . Classy.) I finally had to admit the drinking life wasn't sustainable, & certainly no longer fun. I was drinking 'round the clock - taking it to work with me - the grocery store. Got a dui. People who had no idea I had a problem were starting to notice. Having everyone aware was humiliating. It was a culmination of all those things.
Thanks for the thread dustyfox.
Thanks for the thread dustyfox.
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3rd DUI in 20 years. Where I live, a 4th is a felony. Sitting in the police station that night while I was being booked, I had what I can only describe as a spiritual awakening. A thought I had had many times before (I've got to stop drinking) turned into "you never have to drink again." It felt like the universe was stepping in to sort of "take over." Other people might call it a God moment - whatever you call it, it felt like it came from outside of me. And I felt such RELIEF. I truly surrendered in that moment. For the record, I wasn't very drunk. Impaired and over the limit yes, but not to the point not remembering things. I remember everything that happened that night with crystal clarity. It truly was like a switch was flipped. I haven't had a drink since that moment. I did still do a heck of a lot of work to make sure I could have a good set of tools for dealing with life and cravings, and it wasn't always fun or easy, but I really have not seriously wanted to drink since then.
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I knew I had a problem.
I’m a pharmacist who began having stress (read:life)-related insomnia that threw me for a loop! I could have 3 nights in a row without sleep. Genuinely thought I would go crazy.
I found relief in alcohol from time to time, but, because I had a previous relationship with an alcoholic who subsequently died of their disease, I WOULD NOT drink alcoholically.
So I started stealing small amounts of a (not very tightly) controlled pain medication from work. Told myself it would stop when my sleeping improved…..that never happened.
I made a list of stressors and set to work addressing each of them (job, family, friends, etc…). Made great progress decreasing my stress, but my drug use kept INSISTING and INCREASING. I couldn’t stop on my own. I knew that I was addicted and needed help, but I was too ashamed to volunteer the information. No one knew. I prayed for help.
Two days later my coworker noticed an inconsistency with a drug count. I immediately admitted my problem, lost my job, and found freedom. I couldn’t cough up my confession alone, but my subconscious had forced me to take bigger and bigger risks in order to bring the issue to a head.
I know that my family, friends, and co-workers were floored by the situation, but my people have hung with me!
Ironically, I’ve found tremendous support in the rooms of AA, and I now identify as an alcoholic/addict (I KNOW I would have developed a drinking problem if I hadn’t had access to easy, inexpensive, “safe”, and odorless narcotics). 🤦♀️ It is never safe for me to drink alcohol.
My first AA meeting was a study one of the stories in the back of the Big Book. We read “Acceptance is the Answer” which is the tale of a drug addicted, alcoholic doctor/pharmacist whose problem began because of perfectionism and insomnia. I was aghast! This was my place!
Now AA (and SR) is where I stay mindful and sober (106 days and looking forward to many more!).
Today I am so grateful to be exactly who I am.
I’m a pharmacist who began having stress (read:life)-related insomnia that threw me for a loop! I could have 3 nights in a row without sleep. Genuinely thought I would go crazy.
I found relief in alcohol from time to time, but, because I had a previous relationship with an alcoholic who subsequently died of their disease, I WOULD NOT drink alcoholically.
So I started stealing small amounts of a (not very tightly) controlled pain medication from work. Told myself it would stop when my sleeping improved…..that never happened.
I made a list of stressors and set to work addressing each of them (job, family, friends, etc…). Made great progress decreasing my stress, but my drug use kept INSISTING and INCREASING. I couldn’t stop on my own. I knew that I was addicted and needed help, but I was too ashamed to volunteer the information. No one knew. I prayed for help.
Two days later my coworker noticed an inconsistency with a drug count. I immediately admitted my problem, lost my job, and found freedom. I couldn’t cough up my confession alone, but my subconscious had forced me to take bigger and bigger risks in order to bring the issue to a head.
I know that my family, friends, and co-workers were floored by the situation, but my people have hung with me!
Ironically, I’ve found tremendous support in the rooms of AA, and I now identify as an alcoholic/addict (I KNOW I would have developed a drinking problem if I hadn’t had access to easy, inexpensive, “safe”, and odorless narcotics). 🤦♀️ It is never safe for me to drink alcohol.
My first AA meeting was a study one of the stories in the back of the Big Book. We read “Acceptance is the Answer” which is the tale of a drug addicted, alcoholic doctor/pharmacist whose problem began because of perfectionism and insomnia. I was aghast! This was my place!
Now AA (and SR) is where I stay mindful and sober (106 days and looking forward to many more!).
Today I am so grateful to be exactly who I am.
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Tough choices that was a great post and although I have never been to AA or read the Big Book I have found so often on here advice from both are very helpful. You are right Acceptance is a wonderful thing, I only began to understand that once I committed myself to sobriety. I am really happy for your 106 days!
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Tough choices that was a great post and although I have never been to AA or read the Big Book I have found so often on here advice from both are very helpful. You are right Acceptance is a wonderful thing, I only began to understand that once I committed myself to sobriety. I am really happy for your 106 days!
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