Mizz

It is freeing to decide to no longer engage in a circular problem and find a solution. Sometimes the solution is not what you think it would be but finding a solution is necessary. I have been dealing with a circular issue for quite a few years. The people in the dynamic are different but the problem is still the same. The problem has created internal struggles for me. The problem is dependent on others decisions and its been real hard to get the problem solved due to it being dependent on others.

I've watched this issue go around and around sort of like my active alcoholism did. Round and round. Not making a decision but I end up feeling terrible inside. Today after engaging in this problem, which is not alcoholism, I decided that I really have a choice here. I can walk away and I can be free of it. I'm not going to change other people and I don't want to. I can change myself and the way I feel about it. If I want peace in my head and emotions then the solution was to say "I am no longer going to do this. It makes me unhappy and I want to be happy. Please find someone else to take this on!"

I guess what I am saying is.....We have the power to solve our problems and take action in our lives. Its not always the answer we thought it would be. I was determined to win today. Not win in the way of a battle with another. Win in my heart and emotions and to free myself of circular unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.

Was today a bit rough? Yes. I found a solution though.

Dee74

Finding solutions is one of the gifts of recovery for me
Sorry today was rough Mizz - hope tomorrow is a little easier for you.

D

advbike

Thanks Mizz, it was important for me to read this today. I have similar situations.

Steely

Me too.

Thanks Mizz.

Robbie64

Me too as well.

Thanks for posting Mizz.

Gabe1980

Thanks Mizz, I really grew reading your post this morning. It has made me think in a different way about a few things I am dealing with just now but especially alcohol. I am finally getting to a place where I am making my own choices and feeling okay with that.

I hope you are okay too. Sending love xx

brighterday1234

The beauty of recovery is it enables one to make a sound decision based on wisdom rather than ego 🙏

Mizz

Thanks for the replies.

I am striving for harmony in my work and personal life. There was too much struggle with the above scenario and it is not worthy of my time. I want to do things that actually create value in my work and personal life. This situation was not creating value or peace and was too much of a struggle.

Once I decided to let it go and to move on the answers that I needed were given. The decisions that needed to be made were made. Unfortunately and fortunately this has not changed my own resolve. I will not battle like this any longer with the time I have here. Working towards harmony and peace.

Onwards and Upwards and all that Jazz!

Aellyce

Glad you've found a solution, Mizz. I think it's easy and often becomes habitual to give way too much space in the mind to interpersonal drama (or dynamics, to be less judgmental). I definitely think we can voluntarily choose how much we engage and how, even mentally - a bit like thoughts of drinking.

enaiddes

It is indeed a wonderful feeling when, after floundering and circling round and round, we step out of it all and free ourselves.

Now your new life can begin and you’ve taken one more step on your personal journey of self improvement and personal enlightenment.

Congratulations.

biminiblue

The Detach With Love solution has been my last resort many times but it's often the best and only solution.

Good job, friend.

Anna

It sounds like it ended up being a good day for you, Mizz. Letting go of what we can't control (which is anything outside of ourselves) is a gift of recovery.

Mizz

It did end up being a good day even if a hard decision was made.

There are some things that I am not good at. Some things that I do not want to be good at. I recognized how unproductive the entire situation was and then made a call that I hope is honored. I am striving wholeheartedly for resolve and to end any future conflict. I think I'm too old and also too young to engage in this behavior any longer. I want to be successful and this particular situation is not successful. Time will tell. Walking in recovery and remaining positive.

Dropsie

Good for you!

Choice is difficult from me, especially choosing what is best for me, and even more especially if it means choosing me over another.

Stupid I know, but there it is.

Go girl.