Egg on my face
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Egg on my face
Good morning, everyone.
I am sharing a recent experience in the hope that it will help someone else avoid a rabbit hole.
I am sober 7 years this past March. My life has been very good since then, and I am blessed to be reaping the fruits of some positive choices.
I took in a roommate the third week of March. I knew the guy had a criminal record, but believe that people need second chances in life.
He claimed to be sober a number of years from Meth and Alcohol. He claimed he had led AA meetings.
I thought, "GREAT!" I am all about recovery. This would be a good arrangement.
He was here about two weeks when I noticed the mood swings and an occasional whiff of alcohol.
Three weeks ago, on a Friday, he told me he was going out of state to visit a friend. The next day, I got a call from him that he was stranded about 60 miles from here and "didn't have his car."
I asked him what happened. He told me he had been picked up for a DUI (DWI) and his car had been impounded, He asked me to come get him. At that point, my recovery kicked in, and I told him "no," that he had created this mess and he could figure out how to get home.
When he got home, I served him with a 30 day notice to vacate. I asked him what triggered him going back to alcohol. He admitted that he had never quit.
The following week, he took a train back to his hometown and arrived here in ANOTHER car he had gotten out of storage.
Last weekend, he took THAT car out of town, was picked up on another DUI, and THAT car was impounded. That's two DUI's and two cars impounded in two weeks.
An old girlfriend from out of state invited him to stay with her, and he moved out yesterday. I consider myself extremely fortunate for the lessons I have learned from this experience.
I am sharing a recent experience in the hope that it will help someone else avoid a rabbit hole.
I am sober 7 years this past March. My life has been very good since then, and I am blessed to be reaping the fruits of some positive choices.
I took in a roommate the third week of March. I knew the guy had a criminal record, but believe that people need second chances in life.
He claimed to be sober a number of years from Meth and Alcohol. He claimed he had led AA meetings.
I thought, "GREAT!" I am all about recovery. This would be a good arrangement.
He was here about two weeks when I noticed the mood swings and an occasional whiff of alcohol.
Three weeks ago, on a Friday, he told me he was going out of state to visit a friend. The next day, I got a call from him that he was stranded about 60 miles from here and "didn't have his car."
I asked him what happened. He told me he had been picked up for a DUI (DWI) and his car had been impounded, He asked me to come get him. At that point, my recovery kicked in, and I told him "no," that he had created this mess and he could figure out how to get home.
When he got home, I served him with a 30 day notice to vacate. I asked him what triggered him going back to alcohol. He admitted that he had never quit.
The following week, he took a train back to his hometown and arrived here in ANOTHER car he had gotten out of storage.
Last weekend, he took THAT car out of town, was picked up on another DUI, and THAT car was impounded. That's two DUI's and two cars impounded in two weeks.
An old girlfriend from out of state invited him to stay with her, and he moved out yesterday. I consider myself extremely fortunate for the lessons I have learned from this experience.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Yikes. Glad you’re free of that and were able to get him out! One thought…put a freeze on your credit? Or there’s that thing which isn’t a complete freeze but requires creditors to get more proof of identification before issuing new credit, I can’t remember what the exact term is. I put that in place with all three credit bureaus after my mother died and my financial information was spread all over the place while clearing up her estate.
He had access to everything in your house, so better safe than even sorrier, right?
He had access to everything in your house, so better safe than even sorrier, right?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by Ariesagain 
Yikes. Glad you’re free of that and were able to get him out! One thought…put a freeze on your credit? Or there’s that thing which isn’t a complete freeze but requires creditors to get more proof of identification before issuing new credit, I can’t remember what the exact term is. I put that in place with all three credit bureaus after my mother died and my financial information was spread all over the place while clearing up her estate.
He had access to everything in your house, so better safe than even sorrier, right?
He had access to everything in your house, so better safe than even sorrier, right?
Thanks Aries. Very good advice.
He didn’t have access to anything of mine that he could use for credit.
I am very careful with passwords and other information.
Thanks again!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
No egg on your face Eauchiche. You were kind enough to offer someone a second
chance and they were dishonest. We don't have built in lie detectors - but it sure would
make things easier if we did. Live and learn, you were being generous!
chance and they were dishonest. We don't have built in lie detectors - but it sure would
make things easier if we did. Live and learn, you were being generous!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by mylifeismine
No egg on your face Eauchiche. You were kind enough to offer someone a second
chance and they were dishonest. We don't have built in lie detectors - but it sure would
make things easier if we did. Live and learn, you were being generous!
chance and they were dishonest. We don't have built in lie detectors - but it sure would
make things easier if we did. Live and learn, you were being generous!
I am donating the bed from my guest room to a family who lost everything in a fire. I have decided that this is the end of any more roommate experiences.
The guest room will be used now for my home based business.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
I understand feeling a bit jaded after what happened. All in all though, you did get off "lucky" ... thank goodness.
You handled the situation perfectly, good for you Eauchiche. I am sure you will find other ways to be an upstanding member of your community without putting your sanctuary in jeopardy.
Thank you for coming to share your experience with us. I agree with MLIM, you don't have egg on your face. If anybody does, he does, but that is neither here nor there. Onwards!
You handled the situation perfectly, good for you Eauchiche. I am sure you will find other ways to be an upstanding member of your community without putting your sanctuary in jeopardy.
Thank you for coming to share your experience with us. I agree with MLIM, you don't have egg on your face. If anybody does, he does, but that is neither here nor there. Onwards!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by SmallButMighty
I understand feeling a bit jaded after what happened. All in all though, you did get off "lucky" ... thank goodness.
!
!
My former roommate is at his heart a good man, but full of demons. He also suffers from profound blind spots about his drinking and driving.
One boundary I have, is that I won’t live with a drunk. I don’t hate them or him. He left willingly, grateful for what I tried to do for him.
We enjoyed an amicable parting of the ways.
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,548
Originally Posted by Eauchiche
An old girlfriend from out of state invited him to stay with her, and he moved out yesterday.
Really fortunate he didn't fight you on this. Removing the extra bed will discourage you from offering, and make it less comfortable for someone who may view your extra room as a place to crash.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
Originally Posted by Eauchiche
Thanks so much for your kind words.
I am donating the bed from my guest room to a family who lost everything in a fire. I have decided that this is the end of any more roommate experiences.
The guest room will be used now for my home based business.
I am donating the bed from my guest room to a family who lost everything in a fire. I have decided that this is the end of any more roommate experiences.
The guest room will be used now for my home based business.
Much better, fend off any possible toxic house guests!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
