Two years sober - How's your hope?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Two years sober - How's your hope?
As I mentioned in the Weekenders thread I'm now two years sober and thought I'd share a little more of my story.
At first I could not grasp how to stop drinking. I would plan 'Day 1's to the nearest minute, execute them and then a few days later cave in and drink. This went on for about 5 years, during which I was a member of SR but could not progress. My mental health, fragile before the drink became a problem, started to deteriorate.
Things got so bad that I can't reasonably detail them here. Alcoholism, withdrawals, psychosis etc. etc. I ran around the country pursued by imaginary demons. I had several serious seizures, any of which could have killed me. I was figuratively (and sometimes literally) half dead in the gutter and my family thought they had lost me.
It was obvious to everyone that I needed inpatient treatment. This was arranged somehow and a I had a few weeks of rehab in one of the best facilities in the UK. After I left though I drank again, as many do, but the seeds of recovery had been sown - I had had a glimpse of what joyful, alcohol free living could be like. My mental health got worse again and after various inpatient detoxes I ended up back at home under daily supervision.
This time though, I was assigned one particularly talented mental health nurse. She would visit and often concluded with the simple question, 'How's your hope?'. This seemed strange at the time but I now realise it is key. If you can kindle the flame of hope and keep it burning during the journey of illness, early recovery and continued growth you stand a chance of success.
I still have a diagnosis of mental illness but it is now well managed. I'm holding down a responsible job which I enjoy and climbing the corporate ladder. Relations with my family are mostly very good. I can now begin to plan a future.
If anyone would like to PM me please feel free. I'm hugely grateful for SR and all the support here. I'm not an expert in recovery but have certainly been though the mill and can share what has worked so far for me.
So guys, I'll ask you today, how's your hope?
Forwards.
At first I could not grasp how to stop drinking. I would plan 'Day 1's to the nearest minute, execute them and then a few days later cave in and drink. This went on for about 5 years, during which I was a member of SR but could not progress. My mental health, fragile before the drink became a problem, started to deteriorate.
Things got so bad that I can't reasonably detail them here. Alcoholism, withdrawals, psychosis etc. etc. I ran around the country pursued by imaginary demons. I had several serious seizures, any of which could have killed me. I was figuratively (and sometimes literally) half dead in the gutter and my family thought they had lost me.
It was obvious to everyone that I needed inpatient treatment. This was arranged somehow and a I had a few weeks of rehab in one of the best facilities in the UK. After I left though I drank again, as many do, but the seeds of recovery had been sown - I had had a glimpse of what joyful, alcohol free living could be like. My mental health got worse again and after various inpatient detoxes I ended up back at home under daily supervision.
This time though, I was assigned one particularly talented mental health nurse. She would visit and often concluded with the simple question, 'How's your hope?'. This seemed strange at the time but I now realise it is key. If you can kindle the flame of hope and keep it burning during the journey of illness, early recovery and continued growth you stand a chance of success.
I still have a diagnosis of mental illness but it is now well managed. I'm holding down a responsible job which I enjoy and climbing the corporate ladder. Relations with my family are mostly very good. I can now begin to plan a future.
If anyone would like to PM me please feel free. I'm hugely grateful for SR and all the support here. I'm not an expert in recovery but have certainly been though the mill and can share what has worked so far for me.
So guys, I'll ask you today, how's your hope?
Forwards.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,978
I haven’t had quite as big a battle, but I was a no life drunkard and am coincidentally two years sober.
I’m doing quite well in that I now very rarely get cravings for alcohol. I’m a lot fitter (and slimmer) and clear headed than I was, and a lot more things are doable now.
I can see only positives in your post and your future. I said I I didn’t have such a battle, but I did quit and have to go through withdrawal so know how tough that it. You don’t really well and should be positive about your future.
I’m doing quite well in that I now very rarely get cravings for alcohol. I’m a lot fitter (and slimmer) and clear headed than I was, and a lot more things are doable now.
I can see only positives in your post and your future. I said I I didn’t have such a battle, but I did quit and have to go through withdrawal so know how tough that it. You don’t really well and should be positive about your future.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 3
Greetings and serenity:I am an addict. My name is Jim. The start of a new year has always been a good time for me to get new inspirations. Yes, I spend time thinking bigger. I have found myself digging around in myself trying to figure out how they can make deep, spiritual changes for the new year.
I got clean almost twenty years ago and spent all my time focusing on the basics of my recovery: Go to meetings! Do not pick up! Work the Steps! Trust my Higher Power. In recent times I have felt that I need to focus more on what needs to be tuned up in my insides.
I know that if something happens and I step off my path, I go to my Higher Power, ask for the help I need, make amends if needed and move on, knowing that no condemnation is needed, I am fully loved and that my spiritual health grows stronger.
This year, however, I have felt there is a need for me to reevaluate and readjust myself in hope. It seems that my area of life improvement has been in hope. I have felt my heart come alive again as I felt God wash over and over me with His fresh perspective. I know that hope is a weapon, and one that is constantly stolen and bashed around by my disease. My Higher Power shows me that hope does not disappoint, so my goal is to help expose and crush any disappointment that may arrive on the doorstep of my soul!
Hope is the anchor for recovery! Hope keeps me connected, keeps me from blowing off course with the winds of adversity, and it represents a “safeguard” to keep my recovery moving forward one day at a time.
Hope keeps me from going off into an emotional mess whenever I start to feel tension in my recovery. Hope never disappoints, it is a stronghold and I have been captured by it. Today, I have a confident expectation of my Higher Power always coming through for me, regardless of the circumstances. If the disease of addiction has come to lie to me, I simply ask my Higher Power to fill me again with again with hope. I look forward to being a prisoner of hope! I look forward to allowing hope to anchor my recovery and keep me full of joy, peace, and serenity. Blessings and peace. JimT Hugs
I got clean almost twenty years ago and spent all my time focusing on the basics of my recovery: Go to meetings! Do not pick up! Work the Steps! Trust my Higher Power. In recent times I have felt that I need to focus more on what needs to be tuned up in my insides.
I know that if something happens and I step off my path, I go to my Higher Power, ask for the help I need, make amends if needed and move on, knowing that no condemnation is needed, I am fully loved and that my spiritual health grows stronger.
This year, however, I have felt there is a need for me to reevaluate and readjust myself in hope. It seems that my area of life improvement has been in hope. I have felt my heart come alive again as I felt God wash over and over me with His fresh perspective. I know that hope is a weapon, and one that is constantly stolen and bashed around by my disease. My Higher Power shows me that hope does not disappoint, so my goal is to help expose and crush any disappointment that may arrive on the doorstep of my soul!
Hope is the anchor for recovery! Hope keeps me connected, keeps me from blowing off course with the winds of adversity, and it represents a “safeguard” to keep my recovery moving forward one day at a time.
Hope keeps me from going off into an emotional mess whenever I start to feel tension in my recovery. Hope never disappoints, it is a stronghold and I have been captured by it. Today, I have a confident expectation of my Higher Power always coming through for me, regardless of the circumstances. If the disease of addiction has come to lie to me, I simply ask my Higher Power to fill me again with again with hope. I look forward to being a prisoner of hope! I look forward to allowing hope to anchor my recovery and keep me full of joy, peace, and serenity. Blessings and peace. JimT Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,074
Lovely to see you doing so well Forwards.
I too was struggling with my mental health, I had a dual diagnosis worker plus several times the crisis team had to be called out and I was out under their care. I can fully relate to how difficult it is to deal with that and the addiction. It can all feel so hopeless. Bit like a maze with no way out.
Congratulations on your 2 years and your continued success.
I too was struggling with my mental health, I had a dual diagnosis worker plus several times the crisis team had to be called out and I was out under their care. I can fully relate to how difficult it is to deal with that and the addiction. It can all feel so hopeless. Bit like a maze with no way out.
Congratulations on your 2 years and your continued success.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,069
Originally Posted by Forwards
I still have a diagnosis of mental illness but it is now well managed.
Yes, us that have a mental illness (MI) can recover from addiction and also learn ways (my toolbox of coping strategies) to mitigate MI symptoms.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Congratulations Forwards.
Thanks for the excellent post. I can relate to alot of what you outlined.
It is another shining example of how one can turn things around with continued work and effort and vigilance..
Good for you
Thanks for the excellent post. I can relate to alot of what you outlined.
It is another shining example of how one can turn things around with continued work and effort and vigilance..
Good for you
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,389
How's your hope, I love that! Forwards, your post and story are just beautiful, infinitely inspiring. Congrats on your 2 years sober and your new life than sobriety made possible. All the best your way!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Thank you all for your kind and considered replies.
Whilst I certainly can't say that faith and hope are all that are needed to achieve sobriety, they certainly help get you through the rough patches. Hard work is still essential with external guidance, a solid recovery plan and real action needed each and every day to move forward. If you are drained of faith and motivation, ultimately you still have to find a way to execute your plan anyway until glimmers of light return. Big life changes are required, but in my case it was do or die.
I took a few days over Christmas to relax with no email, no calls, no work and to be honest found myself a bit lost. Clearly there is quite a bit of growth and development to be done this year. I'm still finding my way two years in! Oh well, bring on 2021...
Warm wishes to all. Forwards.
Whilst I certainly can't say that faith and hope are all that are needed to achieve sobriety, they certainly help get you through the rough patches. Hard work is still essential with external guidance, a solid recovery plan and real action needed each and every day to move forward. If you are drained of faith and motivation, ultimately you still have to find a way to execute your plan anyway until glimmers of light return. Big life changes are required, but in my case it was do or die.
I took a few days over Christmas to relax with no email, no calls, no work and to be honest found myself a bit lost. Clearly there is quite a bit of growth and development to be done this year. I'm still finding my way two years in! Oh well, bring on 2021...
Warm wishes to all. Forwards.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Great thread @Forwards! My hope has taken a few hits from Covid, Bell's Palsy and a car wreck. I have to remind myself occasionally that every day is a gift, and certainly every sober day has been Angel's Pay, bonus time. There will always be those bad days, you just have to ride 'em out.
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