Flowing

I dread to think how many of these I've had, I am so overwhelmingly scared about going through recovery again, I've done 4.5 months before and a few other decent attempts and I find it really hard. That's why my relapses have been getting longer, the thought of trying recovery again just gets scarier and scarier.

But here goes, i don't know exactly what damage I'm doing to my body but I can feel it, theres no way I can keep drinking. Mentally I'm a mess and physically I'm sick.

Nothing changes until something changes. Today I'm putting down the bottle.

Dee74

I'm really glad you're trying again Flowing

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Misssy2

Day 1 is incredibly hard...I remember watching the clock just wanting the hours to go by so that it was bedtime and I could be assured I made it thru one day....Usually once I make it thru a day after a bender I am good for a little while....at least weeks....Hopefully you are in a situation where all you have to worry about is YOU....And I know how messed up the mind is on day 1...everything floods in depression, anxiety, wanting to fix everything all in a day....going back and fourth with "can I handle quitting today or should I do it tomorrow?"....Its really bad and if you realize that it is just going to be really hard....and fight thru it knowing you have people here that understand you will be on the right track to feeling better within a few days...I wish you the best today...and always.

Surrendered19

Yes, let's give it another good go Flowing. I'm glad you are ready to try again. Being sober is such a quiet easy way to live. You know that but it bears repeating. Be easy on yourself today. Eat the raspberries and cheesecake. Get some rest. Drink some water.

nez

From one of my favorite mentors, You can do this! There is lots of support and people in your corner on here. We can share how we are doing it, while you too, do it. That is a big part of how recovery works, sharing experience, strength, and hope with each other. You are not alone on this journey.

Gabe1980

Well done on getting back to your day 1....you can do this and we are here to support you

brighterday1234

A contented sober life is entirely possible one day at a time.

GeoGo

Flowing,

I'm right with you. Had two months under my belt, then fell back into it again for about 3 weeks. I ended up going to the hospital ER overnight to ease the pain a bit and they gave me a subscription to reduce the anxiety, which seems to help relative to other times that I tried to detox.
Let's do it for good this time.

redlboro

Never give up 💪. If you need an accountability partner, let me know.

MaximusD

All of you should join the Class of July 2020 thread. This will have all the people quitting this month and will put you with people with similar amounts of quit time for support.

Reid82

Best of luck again in recovery.

Flowing

Thank you all for your support

I made it!

Day 1 done, the witching hours were seriously hard. I've been short tempered and shaky but I'm now going to bed sober.

I'm very grateful for that.

Dee74

well done Flowing

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MaximusD

Great job flowing. How is it going today?

Makeright

Congrats Flowing. Wishing you the best for day 2. I hope it goes really well.

Hevyn

Hi Flowing. That's exactly how I felt when I came limping in to SR 13 summers ago. I was exhausted from all I had put myself through. I was living recklessly & destroying my health. Everyone was confused & worried about me. It was a horrible time, but it led to me finally getting free. We have to be ready to let go of it - and it sounds like you've reached that point. It's not fun anymore - brings us nothing but pain & misery. Congrats on getting through Day 1 - things will get a bit better each day.