Be123

Nine weeks ago today I got horribly drunk, repeating the pattern I learned and rehearsed over 20 years. I felt awful, my marriage was a train wreck, I had no hope, I was a terrible person to live with. Physically I don't know how I did it to be honest - feeling so crap every single day but continuing to put myself through it. I'm convinced what I was doing was a type of insanity.


Today I feel alright. Not perfect but ok. I've started a timeline of my life split into different sections - the year on one side and then across the top headings - 'Life situation', 'Physical health', 'mental health', 'alcohol issues', 'relationships'. Simple but really interesting. I think I started my descent in 2004, having given myself 8 years of 'enjoyable' heavy drinking to give the addiction a foothold. My mental health, physical health and alcohol use have got worse together, I won't analyse which caused which but it is very safe to say they are all tightly related.


And guess what? Take one leg of the tripod away and the issues, for me, are beginning to topple over. Mental health wise I go up and down and expect that to continue, but like the charts we keep seeing for coronavirus it's definitely heading the right direction even if it fluctuates. Physically I feel much better and trust even my brain will right itself with time. I can run short distances and haven't vomited in 9 weeks (that used to be caused by drinking on nausea).

Thanks for everyone's support, this site has been invaluable to me

Reid82

Congrats on 9 weeks.

biminiblue

Good stuff.

Keep it going.

It will get better! So much better. One day I woke up (at about 8-9 months) and thought, "Wow. When did that happen? I feel normal pretty nearly all the time now. No big swings, no huge dramas in my head. Thank you baby Jesus."

Dee74

Keep moving forward Be - congrats man
D

Anna

It sounds like you're putting a lot of effort into your recovery and that you're doing well.