Hi I’ve been in and out of this forum as sometimes you need clarity and healing still after or still being with an alcoholic.
But what I have learnt in my journey is this.
yes o was sad when we broke up and it’s takes time to self heal and you go through periods of gut wrenching stomach pain and sleepless nights, thinking I miss them could I have done anything more or better, would he/ her of changed.
would they changed have they changed are they treating there new other half better than they was me all these thoughts normal thoughts go through your mind in the process of the break up.
should I send them a lengthy message about how I feel in hope there come back and tell me they have changed and miss me and tell me what I desperately want to hear because I love and miss them.

We have all at some point had those thoughts
Then like other’s I get my notes out all the rotten terrible things his ever said to be the abusive stuff the way his made me feel everything I hated about him i read over and over again to put my mind at peace I’m still on that rollercoaster I don’t think you ever get total peace or maybe we do.

Then I’ll remember how miserable I felt while on the relationship how I’d get up each morning after the night before or having a lot of verbal abuse thrown at me him laying there asleep not a care in the world or any thought for the damage he has caused me or how hurt I felt.

the going to work tired and anxious going over and over the things his said to me questioning myself am I like that am o that bad.

Then to get a text from them morning babe I love you again no remorse for what’s been said it’s like it never happened and it was just a dream.. And the repeat button is stuck over and over it happens again and again.
When does it stop ?? When you are strong enough to say enough is enough or when they have had enough of you getting in the eay or there love affair with alcohol which will never change.

Ive come to realise like many things never change I till you or they decide to get off the emotional merry go round or they seek help and sometimes they fail and it’s round and round we go again.

my thoughts are this it’s hard when you break up with someone it’s gut wrenching, but remember how you they made you feel, how life changed how 1 day your falling in love with a great man then this great man strip by strip takes away your confidence, your laughter and how they made you feel and hold onto that because that’s what’s got and getting me through a life without someone I loved

i woke up this morning and this is how I felt not a lot will agree but sometimes you just have one of those days where you need to say how you feel to people who understand, because those that have never dated married etc an alcoholic don’t understand sometimes, this site has so much knowledge and power to help those that need it and even though I’m out of my relationship and hope o never date another drinker I will always read what others are putting it helps it really does.

love to all

Hi I’m sorry your going through this also it’s not easy being with an alcoholic your life just gets turned upside down.
you just have to find yourself again I lost myself looking back I was miserable the days I wasn’t he wasn’t drinking and he was just there the conversations where always about him not me.
Same routine watching tv like two strangers on a room really only time he had any life was when he was drinking and that was about him again him having a good time not me cleaning up the p all round the toilet not being able to sleep because he’d be having his own little party by himself and me worrying he was going to burn my house down because he’d smoke 40 cigarettes and fall every where, and that would be on a week day next day he’d still get up for work sometimes still drunk and he’d drive , he didn’t care as he said I won’t ever get caught drinking driving ok too clever no guilt for having his son not mine in his van drunk what person doors that !! They don’t care about anyone except themselves.
its a sad life to love but one they choose but we have the choice we can get a better life if we just take that leap and in time it does get better and we get the smile and calm back into our lives again

i hope you find the strength hugs to you xx