NikkiCharles

Hello all,

Since I've been trying to quit drinking for over 30 years, I'm not really new. I have been on this website before also.

I have been a non-drinker for 20 days now. I barely made it through yesterday. I would have drank if someone had presented a drink to me but since no one did, and I was too tired to even get off the couch, I eventually just went to bed.

Life without alcohol... in my opinion is so hard and feelings are so intense, I'm not sure it's worth it. Do I feel physically better without alcohol? Marginally. Do I feel emotionally better? No way. If I were a helium balloon yesterday, the only thing that would have popped the pressure would have been a nice cold beer.

Also, I want to change my user name. How do I do this? Thanks.

Hawkeye13

Early days are tough but it gets much much better with continued sobriety.

You’ve been drinking for 30 years. It will take more than 20 days to heal.

Hang in there.

doggonecarl

The instant gratification of alcohol is part of what keeps us ensnared in addiction.

You say a nice cold beer would have been good yesterday. A beer? If you could have drank a single beer you wouldn't be here trying to quit. Sobriety is for the long haul. Stay strong. Ride the emotional tidal wave out. It does get better, but like Hawkeye said, not in 20 days.

Noam19

Hi Nikki. Yes, we all have those days. I had one early this week when I had the thought that just a half pint of vodka would be fine. I'd still be able to wake up at the same time and probably wouldn't have a hangover. But to Dog's point above...it wouldn't have stopped there. Maybe that night it would have, but the next day I would be thinking about how to get the next one. I think after 30 days it does get easier. At least I don't think about it all the time.

hail

Yes we all have those days. Everyone is right 30 yrs of drinking is not going to be fixed in 20 days. Hang in there. Remember 1 beer leads to hundreds or in my case gallons of bourbon. Day 50 for me and the fog lifts a little each day. Hang in there.

fishkiller

Day 40 something here

I have been drinking almost daily for 35 years.

Daily for the last 30 of those

It does get better

Surrendered19

Hi NC. I drank for 30 years and am 3 months sober. I still had a stunned feeling at 20 days. We were down in it for so long it is simply going to take time to get right again. This is NOT the best you are going to feel. Please remember that. Looking back at my journal, I really started to feel what I perceived others to feel as "normal" around 30-40 days in. Most of my days quiet, calm, and some optimism in my nag-headed head. At 3 months+, things are really feeling much better mentally and physically. Be patient with yourself. 20 days is an amazing accomplishment by the way!!!

Kjma

Welcome back, and way to go on the 20 days. I really can't add anything to what the others are saying, but do want to encourage you to keep up the fight. You will thank yourself later.

Kjma

Killer, day 40 something!!! Awesomeness!

ShilohWon

Hi Nikki! I'm glad you are here. Your story sounds much like mine. I too have been around liquor all of my life. I started drinking in the 80s. In the late 90s I got sober for a year, through AA. Then I quit going and drank off and on for another 15 years. Finally in 2016 I decided enough is enough. If you can, get to a f2f AA meeting. It really helps.

PhoenixJ

Welcome. My support to you.

Dee74

Hi and welcome (back)

New members can't private message right away, but if you go to my profile page you can send me an email from there , under social profiles, with your preferred new name.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/members/dee74.html

MaximusD

Nikki, while I am only on Day 2/3 right now I have been mostly quit and most of my quits last weeks to a month or more and as others have said it will take longer to feel better but you will feel better!

least

See how you feel at six months sober. It gets better, but it takes longer than three weeks. Hang in there.

NikkiCharles

Thanks to all whom responded to my post yesterday. I need to vent sometimes. Yesterday was an incredibly stressful day. I made it through somehow... a miracle really.
Not drinking is soooo hard. I really miss it. What has helped me this time is pounding my brain with podcasts that deal with stopping drinking. It helps.
AA doesn't work for me. My new approach is based on the belief that choosing to drink is just a bad habit. This works for me way better than AA. I'm the one that has to stop the behavior. Not a higher power. If I thought a higher power would answer my prayers, I'd have won the lottery by now!