Done with "casual drinking"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
Done with "casual drinking"
Think I am done with the Taco Tuesday Wing Wednesday dumb excuses to go drinking. Never seems to end well and always end up regretting going out. Waste of time money health and really been putting a dent in my life. I can't say with absolute certainty that I will never drink again but will for sure not go out for senseless reasons. Also no reason for me to drink for business. I am done with the alcoholic life style
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
hey - welcome back 
I hope you'll be able to say you will not drink - with certainty - soon
I was very good at partial recovery - 'I won't drink if '- but that list was pretty small.
The 'I will drink if ' list was miles long.
The only kind of recovery I can trust is one that's not dependent on company situation or emotion.
I need my recovery to be100% reliable at any time.
The first step to that is a day one
D
I can't say with absolute certainty that I will never drink again but will for sure not go out for senseless reasons.
I was very good at partial recovery - 'I won't drink if '- but that list was pretty small.
The 'I will drink if ' list was miles long.
The only kind of recovery I can trust is one that's not dependent on company situation or emotion.
I need my recovery to be100% reliable at any time.
The first step to that is a day one
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
On day 3 now had 7 before Saturday. I know I should probably have no exceptions but I truly no longer want to get drunk. When I drink often go to bars alone and start pounding drinks like a moron. On a date or in future if it involved something business oriented I feel nursing one wouldn't be bad just to blend in but the days of having 15 drinks and hanging out with the bottom of society are over. I am 100 percent sure these days are behind me at this point!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I know I should probably have no exceptions but I truly no longer want to get drunk.
There is no drinking without getting drunk - not really,
Those few nights out of 1000s where I drank like a gentleman were more good luck than anything else.
Until I accepted it was the first drink that starts the madness, & not the last - I had a rough old road to hoe.
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Newbeginning421 
On a date or in future if it involved something business oriented I feel nursing one wouldn't be bad just to blend in
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 103
I’d guess many here were at this stage at some point before realizing it would be necessary to put it down completely. And that can be an awfully ugly progression. You have the opportunity and option to skip it. Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Just nursing one. A normie doesn't ever think like that. I'll just nurse one. Only folks with alcohol disorders of some sort approach alcohol as if it were still a worthy opponent but capable of being tamed. Normies just have a drink and it never enters their mind to have another or that having 8 more would be SO bad. Think about it NewBeginning. It doesn't make any sense. When you drive to work, you NEVER say I'm just driving to work today, I am not going to drive past work and keep driving. That is because you are not addicted to driving.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by Newbeginning421
Think I am done with the Taco Tuesday Wing Wednesday dumb excuses to go drinking. Never seems to end well and always end up regretting going out. Waste of time money health and really been putting a dent in my life. I can't say with absolute certainty that I will never drink again but will for sure not go out for senseless reasons. Also no reason for me to drink for business. I am done with the alcoholic life style
If you think about it, you can't get addicted, to a substance, unless you have learned the drug helps you do something. After all, if you did not learn that alcohol allows you feel a certain way, you would not know what to buy! Feeling compelled to use a drug (or any compulsive behavior) arises from important reasons inside people, not from an inanimate bottle or substance! Addictive behaviors are never random, there is always a reason and a reward. There is always a, "Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat." Addictive behavior is reward based learning. Addictive behavior can be unlearned!
In my experience you can unlearn addictive behavior when you understand the psychology behind addictive behavior. Addictions always serve and emotional purpose. When you learn to understand and control your emotions and understand what you really value in life, you can abstain or even moderate! It's all about emotional control. For more than 4 decades I drank and drugged to empower myself and regain control of my emotions (how I felt about overwhelming intolerable circumstances). Alas I have finally learned to regain control with other high value behaviors that are important to me and empower me to regain control of overwhelming feelings and circumstances. Values are the single most important variable in behavioral change. Our values are the starting place for all our beliefs, actions and behaviors. When our actions are consistent with our values we participate in life in a way we can feel good about, regardless of external circumstances.
Is this easier said than done? Of course, but it all starts with good values. Values are what are important to us and more important than our feelings. Using our frontal cortex and managing our primitive limbic system. When your values trump your addiction there is no addiction!
Change your thinking and change your life.
Romans: 12:2 "Don't be conformed to this world but be transformed with new thinking."
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Congratulations on taking a step in a good direction. A lot of us realize that alcohol is a problem long before we finally reach a point where we decide its time to stop for good.
I went for years with drinking only at certain times. After a big project, during a special event or to celebrate with reunited family members. I tended to be the last one drinking but there was enough social guardrails to keep me from going on and on.
But eventually, over time, I began to find more reasons to drink and for much longer periods of time. Instead of leaving the bar after a big game and passing out, Id just go to the bar for no reason, go home and keep drinking the next day by myself.
The drinking got worse and worse just like I've read on here. I wasn't aware of the science behind it at the time and thought I had enough mental fortitude and physical strength to control my drinking but in the end I had to admit that I was no longer able to control it.
In looking back, I wish I would have stopped sooner but thats ok. I stopped when I did. I can't tell people when to stop but I can say that the further down that drinking path we walk, the deeper we get towards the point of no return.
For me, knowledge was important. The more I've learned about alcohol and it's impact on me, the easier its become to embrace long term sobriety and recovery.
I went for years with drinking only at certain times. After a big project, during a special event or to celebrate with reunited family members. I tended to be the last one drinking but there was enough social guardrails to keep me from going on and on.
But eventually, over time, I began to find more reasons to drink and for much longer periods of time. Instead of leaving the bar after a big game and passing out, Id just go to the bar for no reason, go home and keep drinking the next day by myself.
The drinking got worse and worse just like I've read on here. I wasn't aware of the science behind it at the time and thought I had enough mental fortitude and physical strength to control my drinking but in the end I had to admit that I was no longer able to control it.
In looking back, I wish I would have stopped sooner but thats ok. I stopped when I did. I can't tell people when to stop but I can say that the further down that drinking path we walk, the deeper we get towards the point of no return.
For me, knowledge was important. The more I've learned about alcohol and it's impact on me, the easier its become to embrace long term sobriety and recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,409
why bother with one drink? Never saw the point and once the drug’s in my system I will want more. Getting blackout drunk is only a matter of time if I allow alcohol in and then it’s the morning drink etc the following day not to mention feeling dreadful and wracked with anxiety.
I chose abstinence based recovery and my life is wonderful and I’m truly grateful 🙏
I chose abstinence based recovery and my life is wonderful and I’m truly grateful 🙏
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
Thank you for the responses I have no plans to drink in the near future or try to moderate my drinking like going out with a friend and only having a few as I know it doesn't work for me. All i was referring to is the situations in which it is customary to have one or two. I know some will say there is no situation where you have to drink and your right. Just wanted to state i am done with this lifestyle was feeling much better over the summer when i had 105 days
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
There is absolutely no situation where you need to have one or two drinks, ever. Alcoholism is a relentless disease and it will wait patiently for an opportunity to sneak back in. I think most of us here, maybe all of us, have wanted to have one or two drinks on occasion. It simply doesn't work. And, it's at odds with wanting a sober lifestyle. I hope you look around here and continue to read and post, and hopefully you will decide to stop drinking for good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Lots of ambivalence and negotiations in your posts. Not critizing you, I was certainly there for a long time myself. All I know is the sooner you accept that you can never drink again, the sooner the life you deserve might be yours.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Originally Posted by Newbeginning421
Think I am done with the Taco Tuesday Wing Wednesday dumb excuses to go drinking. Never seems to end well and always end up regretting going out. Waste of time money health and really been putting a dent in my life. I can't say with absolute certainty that I will never drink again but will for sure not go out for senseless reasons. Also no reason for me to drink for business. I am done with the alcoholic life style
Good decision - Congrats on Three days
Sunday Funday, Messy Monday, Tipsy Tuesday, Wasted Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Faded Friday, Sloppy Saturday!
My cute name for each day of the week gives me reason's to drink
HOWwww insane
I reflected on some new cute names to keep me in the day and sober
Sunday- Sober Sunday
Monday- Motivated Monday
Tuesday- Thankful Tuesday
Wednesday - Wisdom Wednesday
Thursday-Thoughtful Thursday
Friday- Fitness Friday
Saturday- Serenity Saturday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by CRRHCC
It sounds like you value sobriety.
If you think about it, you can't get addicted, to a substance, unless you have learned the drug helps you do something. After all, if you did not learn that alcohol allows you feel a certain way, you would not know what to buy! Feeling compelled to use a drug (or any compulsive behavior) arises from important reasons inside people, not from an inanimate bottle or substance! Addictive behaviors are never random, there is always a reason and a reward. There is always a, "Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat." Addictive behavior is reward based learning. Addictive behavior can be unlearned!
In my experience you can unlearn addictive behavior when you understand the psychology behind addictive behavior. Addictions always serve and emotional purpose. When you learn to understand and control your emotions and understand what you really value in life, you can abstain or even moderate! It's all about emotional control. For more than 4 decades I drank and drugged to empower myself and regain control of my emotions (how I felt about overwhelming intolerable circumstances). Alas I have finally learned to regain control with other high value behaviors that are important to me and empower me to regain control of overwhelming feelings and circumstances. Values are the single most important variable in behavioral change. Our values are the starting place for all our beliefs, actions and behaviors. When our actions are consistent with our values we participate in life in a way we can feel good about, regardless of external circumstances.
Is this easier said than done? Of course, but it all starts with good values. Values are what are important to us and more important than our feelings. Using our frontal cortex and managing our primitive limbic system. When your values trump your addiction there is no addiction!
Change your thinking and change your life.
Romans: 12:2 "Don't be conformed to this world but be transformed with new thinking."
If you think about it, you can't get addicted, to a substance, unless you have learned the drug helps you do something. After all, if you did not learn that alcohol allows you feel a certain way, you would not know what to buy! Feeling compelled to use a drug (or any compulsive behavior) arises from important reasons inside people, not from an inanimate bottle or substance! Addictive behaviors are never random, there is always a reason and a reward. There is always a, "Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat." Addictive behavior is reward based learning. Addictive behavior can be unlearned!
In my experience you can unlearn addictive behavior when you understand the psychology behind addictive behavior. Addictions always serve and emotional purpose. When you learn to understand and control your emotions and understand what you really value in life, you can abstain or even moderate! It's all about emotional control. For more than 4 decades I drank and drugged to empower myself and regain control of my emotions (how I felt about overwhelming intolerable circumstances). Alas I have finally learned to regain control with other high value behaviors that are important to me and empower me to regain control of overwhelming feelings and circumstances. Values are the single most important variable in behavioral change. Our values are the starting place for all our beliefs, actions and behaviors. When our actions are consistent with our values we participate in life in a way we can feel good about, regardless of external circumstances.
Is this easier said than done? Of course, but it all starts with good values. Values are what are important to us and more important than our feelings. Using our frontal cortex and managing our primitive limbic system. When your values trump your addiction there is no addiction!
Change your thinking and change your life.
Romans: 12:2 "Don't be conformed to this world but be transformed with new thinking."
Thank you for the thoughtful post
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
I’m glad you’ve decided to make positive choices regarding alcohol. I know the “it won’t work posts can seem annoying, but they come from a caring place because most of us have been right here you are now, I know I was.
Moderation just didn’t work for me, and God knows I tested the theory enough times in multiple settings.
I also thought I would be able to just have one at a business dinner, or as a toast at a party, but it always led to more. I also worked about what others would think if I didn’t drink, which is crazy because I should have been worried about what they would think if I’d had too much to drink. This past week we had our white elephant gift exchange and my gift was stolen twice, the third gift I opened was some fancy wine opener. One of my colleagues stole it from me, and the room sighed for me, then she loudly declared “I only took it from her because she doesn’t drink.” It was nice to be known as that person.
I wish you nothing but the best with whatever decision you make, but do hope you’ll consider not making alcohol an option, it really does make things easier.
Moderation just didn’t work for me, and God knows I tested the theory enough times in multiple settings.
I also thought I would be able to just have one at a business dinner, or as a toast at a party, but it always led to more. I also worked about what others would think if I didn’t drink, which is crazy because I should have been worried about what they would think if I’d had too much to drink. This past week we had our white elephant gift exchange and my gift was stolen twice, the third gift I opened was some fancy wine opener. One of my colleagues stole it from me, and the room sighed for me, then she loudly declared “I only took it from her because she doesn’t drink.” It was nice to be known as that person.
I wish you nothing but the best with whatever decision you make, but do hope you’ll consider not making alcohol an option, it really does make things easier.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Nobody misinterpreted your post Newbeginning. It is crystal clear that you envision a future where you can nurse one drink at an appropriate social occasion and not have that lead to more drinking. All folks are saying here is that they've heard that wish a zillion times, even wished it for themselves, but have rarely if ever seen that work.
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