Newbie here, hello!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Suffern, NY
Posts: 2
Newbie here, hello!
Hi all,
My first post here. I'm glad to see this kind of forum on the web! In my search I didn't know what to expect, but maybe this is what I need. What made me think about a forum was the intake counselor at one of the local rehab centers, he just rubbed me the wrong way on the phone this morning and I don't think I've been truly annoyed with more than... maybe six people in my life. That really means a lot!
Here's the lowdown: I started with a new Gastroenterologist (gut doctor) this Spring and he did tons of tests just to see where I stand. He found Cirrhosis of the liver. That's fatal for drinkers, I've seen it up close by losing a landlord that way.
So as soon as I heard that I stopped drinking, was sent to a transplant doc who said to stay stopped, it's not bad enough for a transplant. I'm no dope, I had quit cold turkey anyway so I adjusted my diet to help and stayed dry since sometime in May or June. My only 'recurrence' was a half glass of gawd-awful sweet white wine for Thanksgiving toast. That had no effect one way or the other and I may or may not do the same next Thanksgiving (if I get to choose the wine!)
Anyway, my real problem may upset some folks here but it's important to me. I stopped drinking this year and I stopped in 1998 after a bleeding ulcer do to a very bad diet (aspirin, beer, and stress.) That lasted five years until I realized my diet had improved, no aspirin, and less stress. So due to a spiked drink by Cameron Diaz (very long story) I decided since I was healthier, alcohol was ok. So, the big deal is both times I stopped it was cold turkey and I had not a hint of reaction.
I seem to be, and feel exactly the same when I was drinking. No great desire, no DT's , yearning, lip licking at liquor stores, nothing. I'm still the same stupid, clumsy, goofy, weirdo that I was before. I thought that I would be withdrawn socially, nope. Timid like when I was a kid, nope. This does not go off well on counselors , therapists, psychiatrists, and almost all alcoholics...
I know many people say the same but still or eventually have problems. That's true and pretty common. I just feel bad about the whole thing and frankly angry toward people who give me the same standard advice that works well for many truly hurting folks. And not so well for a few too, like Tom, my Dead Best Friend (he's still my best friend, he just happens to be dead.)
I tried AA in 1998, or was told to when I applied for State Aid for the bills. The meetings and people were fine but when I stood up and said all that the mood would get a little sour... Also the Higher Power concept isn't really my thing. I kind of feel left out of something I could belong to. I've always been a loner and in this case it really bugs me...
Ok... sorry to type so much, I talk like this too! I hope I didn't turn off anyone too much, but I'd like to get some feedback and any criticism you all have.
Thanks for your reading time ~ Sam
My first post here. I'm glad to see this kind of forum on the web! In my search I didn't know what to expect, but maybe this is what I need. What made me think about a forum was the intake counselor at one of the local rehab centers, he just rubbed me the wrong way on the phone this morning and I don't think I've been truly annoyed with more than... maybe six people in my life. That really means a lot!
Here's the lowdown: I started with a new Gastroenterologist (gut doctor) this Spring and he did tons of tests just to see where I stand. He found Cirrhosis of the liver. That's fatal for drinkers, I've seen it up close by losing a landlord that way.
So as soon as I heard that I stopped drinking, was sent to a transplant doc who said to stay stopped, it's not bad enough for a transplant. I'm no dope, I had quit cold turkey anyway so I adjusted my diet to help and stayed dry since sometime in May or June. My only 'recurrence' was a half glass of gawd-awful sweet white wine for Thanksgiving toast. That had no effect one way or the other and I may or may not do the same next Thanksgiving (if I get to choose the wine!)
Anyway, my real problem may upset some folks here but it's important to me. I stopped drinking this year and I stopped in 1998 after a bleeding ulcer do to a very bad diet (aspirin, beer, and stress.) That lasted five years until I realized my diet had improved, no aspirin, and less stress. So due to a spiked drink by Cameron Diaz (very long story) I decided since I was healthier, alcohol was ok. So, the big deal is both times I stopped it was cold turkey and I had not a hint of reaction.
I seem to be, and feel exactly the same when I was drinking. No great desire, no DT's , yearning, lip licking at liquor stores, nothing. I'm still the same stupid, clumsy, goofy, weirdo that I was before. I thought that I would be withdrawn socially, nope. Timid like when I was a kid, nope. This does not go off well on counselors , therapists, psychiatrists, and almost all alcoholics...
I know many people say the same but still or eventually have problems. That's true and pretty common. I just feel bad about the whole thing and frankly angry toward people who give me the same standard advice that works well for many truly hurting folks. And not so well for a few too, like Tom, my Dead Best Friend (he's still my best friend, he just happens to be dead.)
I tried AA in 1998, or was told to when I applied for State Aid for the bills. The meetings and people were fine but when I stood up and said all that the mood would get a little sour... Also the Higher Power concept isn't really my thing. I kind of feel left out of something I could belong to. I've always been a loner and in this case it really bugs me...
Ok... sorry to type so much, I talk like this too! I hope I didn't turn off anyone too much, but I'd like to get some feedback and any criticism you all have.
Thanks for your reading time ~ Sam
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Samster
some people decide all they need to do is stop drinking and go on to happy sober lives.
Others like me had to change their lives completely and go deep into underlying reasons.
It is what it is.
Not entirely sure why you're angry at advice you been given.
If you're sober and happy, good on you
I'd make a Thanksgiving toast with something other than alcohol tho - if you're happily sober, why poke the bear?
D
some people decide all they need to do is stop drinking and go on to happy sober lives.
Others like me had to change their lives completely and go deep into underlying reasons.
It is what it is.
Not entirely sure why you're angry at advice you been given.
If you're sober and happy, good on you
I'd make a Thanksgiving toast with something other than alcohol tho - if you're happily sober, why poke the bear?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome,
I'm sorry that you are upset by advice you've received along the way. I hope you find the support you are looking for here at SR. If SR is not for you, there are other recovery programs, and posting here on SR is always helpful for recovery.
I'm sorry that you are upset by advice you've received along the way. I hope you find the support you are looking for here at SR. If SR is not for you, there are other recovery programs, and posting here on SR is always helpful for recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Welcome Samster. I hope you are sober now, but I can't tell from your post. I also am confused about what you want. You warn of being angry if offered "the same standard advice" but then you ask for feedback. I am also confused about your report that counselors and therapists don't like your outgoing personality. That doesn't sound right to me, and perhaps you might be mistaken about that? Anyway, I think you will receive lots of support here on this site if you are open to that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Hi,
I am thinking maybe when people realize you are "new" to sobriety they assume you are broken. I hear from people at every AA meeting advise when they walked through the door it was because they were broken, miserable and didn't know how to live without Alcohol. Like Dee says there are people that can put it down and carry on with out much to do.
I was even told there are very heavy drinkers that alcohol only abuses their bodies but not much else. That is not good for me to ponder because I would love to be just a heavy drinker. Alcohol abuses my soul/judgement/mood/employment/relationships and the ability to function.
I was and definitely was broken. I am one drink away from being broken again-I am very fragile.
There boards on here that may interest you if you are not into the spiritual aspect of staying Sober. Also health and nutrition boards.. I wish you the healing of your liver and quality sobriety. I am glad you are taking care of your health. You contact a rehab are you looking for support , tools? Keep close to the boards. Update us on your Sober journey and what works for you.
I am thinking maybe when people realize you are "new" to sobriety they assume you are broken. I hear from people at every AA meeting advise when they walked through the door it was because they were broken, miserable and didn't know how to live without Alcohol. Like Dee says there are people that can put it down and carry on with out much to do.
I was even told there are very heavy drinkers that alcohol only abuses their bodies but not much else. That is not good for me to ponder because I would love to be just a heavy drinker. Alcohol abuses my soul/judgement/mood/employment/relationships and the ability to function.
I was and definitely was broken. I am one drink away from being broken again-I am very fragile.
There boards on here that may interest you if you are not into the spiritual aspect of staying Sober. Also health and nutrition boards.. I wish you the healing of your liver and quality sobriety. I am glad you are taking care of your health. You contact a rehab are you looking for support , tools? Keep close to the boards. Update us on your Sober journey and what works for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Welcome and congratulations on getting sober. People drink differently and when they stop, the experience can be different as well. I know several people who just stopped drinking without going to any groups and I've never personally experienced hallucinations or the shakes (thank goodness) Also, some people experience a big transformation when they stop drinking while others I've known are essentially the same people except they aren't drinking and doing drinking things. I wouldn't worry too much about any of that. We all have similarities and differences in recovery.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
It's great to have you join us, Sam. When I found SR it was by accident - and I couldn't imagine how an online group like this could possibly help me. 12 yrs. later, I'm still here and continue to gain strength from the wisdom & support.
Glad to meet you - congrats on your decision to be sober.
Glad to meet you - congrats on your decision to be sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Hi Sam,
I'm not sure why the description of how easily you mentally and physically take to sobriety (compared to others) is relevant? If you're lucky in this way then that is great but when you have cirrhosis of the liver it's kind of a moot point isn't it?
Welcome to SR.
JT
I'm not sure why the description of how easily you mentally and physically take to sobriety (compared to others) is relevant? If you're lucky in this way then that is great but when you have cirrhosis of the liver it's kind of a moot point isn't it?
Welcome to SR.
JT
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Welcome to SR Samster! How's it going?
I'm glad getting sober is going well so far but stick around because you really, really, really need to stay sober - our livers can only take so much - and there is so much help, information and advice on this site.
As far as AA is concerned, if you are mandated to go then just take on board all the excellent "earthly" advice and just go through the motions with the higher power stuff if you are not feeling it. I did not use AA myself very much but I did not find the meetings negative in any way.
Good luck.
I'm glad getting sober is going well so far but stick around because you really, really, really need to stay sober - our livers can only take so much - and there is so much help, information and advice on this site.
As far as AA is concerned, if you are mandated to go then just take on board all the excellent "earthly" advice and just go through the motions with the higher power stuff if you are not feeling it. I did not use AA myself very much but I did not find the meetings negative in any way.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
Well you are very lucky that sobriety does not affect your social interaction. For me it is very different. I find it hard to socialise and keep that aspect to a minimum. In fact, over this festive season to almost zero.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Suffern, NY
Posts: 2
Thank you all for the replies! I didn't know what to expect, but you have been very nice, helpful, and uplifting.
I'm probably just being nervous and defensive in the post. Sorry I didn't come back sooner, I hadn't set my CP to send emails when replied to. Figured that one out. Anyway, I want to get involved with everyone but right now I have to make supper... nothing messes with Suppertime! Back soon.
I'm probably just being nervous and defensive in the post. Sorry I didn't come back sooner, I hadn't set my CP to send emails when replied to. Figured that one out. Anyway, I want to get involved with everyone but right now I have to make supper... nothing messes with Suppertime! Back soon.
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