Almost fell
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 18
Almost fell
Hello everyone
on my 5th month of being sober riddled with anxiety and wanted some relief so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts and how quickly it escalates so after opening one can and looking at it I began systematically pouring all 3 of them out one by one without a sip
have to say I don’t regret doing that, but I feel like it was a small compromise in the wrong direction
but am encouraged that I didn’t go back to it
on my 5th month of being sober riddled with anxiety and wanted some relief so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts and how quickly it escalates so after opening one can and looking at it I began systematically pouring all 3 of them out one by one without a sip
have to say I don’t regret doing that, but I feel like it was a small compromise in the wrong direction
but am encouraged that I didn’t go back to it
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I'm glad you poured those out.
Sounds like a pretty close call tho - has it been like this the whole 5 months wmclintock?
D
Sounds like a pretty close call tho - has it been like this the whole 5 months wmclintock?
D
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Originally Posted by Wmcclintock
Hello everyone
on my 5th month of being sober riddled with anxiety and wanted some relief so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts and how quickly it escalates so after opening one can and looking at it I began systematically pouring all 3 of them out one by one without a sip
have to say I don’t regret doing that, but I feel like it was a small compromise in the wrong direction
but am encouraged that I didn’t go back to it
on my 5th month of being sober riddled with anxiety and wanted some relief so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts and how quickly it escalates so after opening one can and looking at it I began systematically pouring all 3 of them out one by one without a sip
have to say I don’t regret doing that, but I feel like it was a small compromise in the wrong direction
but am encouraged that I didn’t go back to it
Look at it as you are going in the right direction. I have a confession too
when you posted you purchased Alcohol at 7am I looked to see where you are from. My AV lit up , since I usually had to wait until 8am. How sad is that. The difference I guess now is I recognized that is not normal, healthy thinking. It is my alcoholism. I think you recognized today that putting alcohol into your system is not normal, healthy thinking/action. You took action not to let that happen. I think that is a great achievement. I am like you very anxious when I wake up then it dissipates during the day. Sometimes a vigorous walk or some exercise works wonders.
Take care and congrats on five months sober
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Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by Wmcclintock
Hello everyone
on my 5th month of being sober riddled with anxiety and wanted some relief so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts and how quickly it escalates so after opening one can and looking at it I began systematically pouring all 3 of them out one by one without a sip
have to say I don’t regret doing that, but I feel like it was a small compromise in the wrong direction
but am encouraged that I didn’t go back to it
on my 5th month of being sober riddled with anxiety and wanted some relief so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts and how quickly it escalates so after opening one can and looking at it I began systematically pouring all 3 of them out one by one without a sip
have to say I don’t regret doing that, but I feel like it was a small compromise in the wrong direction
but am encouraged that I didn’t go back to it
You chose to make a potentially destructive choice. Bought the booze and showed great awareness realizing that you still had the power of choice: should I drink it or should I not??
You reflected and realized it would probably be a destructive choice and then decided to make a more constructive choice and chose not to drink the purchased booze.
You chose to cultivate a responsible mindset and chose to give yourself what you needed and not (probably erroneously) what you thought you wanted.
You always have a choice.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
"so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts.... "
great that you managed to pour those out.
i'd like to suggest to you that "the cycle" doesn't start with the drink you almost had or buying the booze as soon as the store opened....whatever started, started before all that, somewhere in your mind/thinking.
if you look at that, you can likely implement a plan or program that will short-circuit this much earlier, so that you do not find yourself with an open can in your hand.
great that you managed to pour those out.
i'd like to suggest to you that "the cycle" doesn't start with the drink you almost had or buying the booze as soon as the store opened....whatever started, started before all that, somewhere in your mind/thinking.
if you look at that, you can likely implement a plan or program that will short-circuit this much earlier, so that you do not find yourself with an open can in your hand.
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by thomas11
That shows incredible strength. So glad you didn't drink them. You would have been back for more later in the day, right? Great on 5 mnths.
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by fini
"so I went to the store at 7 am to buy alcohol and bought 3 cans, got home and just reminded myself of how the cycle starts.... "
great that you managed to pour those out.
i'd like to suggest to you that "the cycle" doesn't start with the drink you almost had or buying the booze as soon as the store opened....whatever started, started before all that, somewhere in your mind/thinking.
if you look at that, you can likely implement a plan or program that will short-circuit this much earlier, so that you do not find yourself with an open can in your hand.
great that you managed to pour those out.
i'd like to suggest to you that "the cycle" doesn't start with the drink you almost had or buying the booze as soon as the store opened....whatever started, started before all that, somewhere in your mind/thinking.
if you look at that, you can likely implement a plan or program that will short-circuit this much earlier, so that you do not find yourself with an open can in your hand.
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Dee74
Apart from SR what else are you doing for your recovery wmcclintock? 
D
D
in the country, no family just lost my mother last year to alcohol but I have a job where I have been for 18 years (purpose)...no Close AA meetings except a NA meeting on mondays so I have very limited resources so I’m open to suggestions and I am just fighting it on my own mainly, through reminders of where alcohol has taken me in the past and trying to face my problems head on one by one, this site has been a help though I’m new to it it’s been a blessing, spend a good bit of time on it but I also have friends I call at times and if they are able to come visit or pick me up we hang out...I actually don’t have any friends that drink...seriously, so that in of itself is a blessing and I’m sorry but what is SR? But it long story short what I think is you just can’t drink again and there is a lot of turbulence on that road, but I figure it’s worse the other way, wish I had a better answer for you
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Wmcclintock
Good question I’m in a bad situation b/c I lost my license to a dwi (use a scooter right now bad thing is I bought a new car a month before that happened ;( but I live alone with a cat
in the country, no family just lost my mother last year to alcohol but I have a job where I have been for 18 years (purpose)...no Close AA meetings except a NA meeting on mondays so I have very limited resources so I’m open to suggestions and I am just fighting it on my own mainly, through reminders of where alcohol has taken me in the past and trying to face my problems head on one by one, this site has been a help though I’m new to it it’s been a blessing, spend a good bit of time on it but I also have friends I call at times and if they are able to come visit or pick me up we hang out...I actually don’t have any friends that drink...seriously, so that in of itself is a blessing and I’m sorry but what is SR?But it long story short what I think is you just can’t drink again and there is a lot of turbulence on that road, but I figure it’s worse the other way, wish I had a better answer for you
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
W,
lots of online meetings available. AA has them, Lifering Secular Recovery has them, SMART has them, as far as i know...
spend some time googling and “trying them out”....it will keep you busy and out of trouble
my sober pal, in real life, who i met 13 years ago at my first meeting, had been living abroad and spent the first seven years of his sobriety with only online support available.
lots of online meetings available. AA has them, Lifering Secular Recovery has them, SMART has them, as far as i know...
spend some time googling and “trying them out”....it will keep you busy and out of trouble
my sober pal, in real life, who i met 13 years ago at my first meeting, had been living abroad and spent the first seven years of his sobriety with only online support available.
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