I'm so paranoid....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: In my own world...
Posts: 444
I'm so paranoid....
I hate this. Every time the bf goes out I'm stressed to the point I can't sleep. I keep thinking... what's he going to do that he's going to fib about tomorrow. Terrible huh? He called me at work to ask if he could go to a hockey game in the city with a guy he works with. I was at least in sound mind to say "sure that's alright" although I wanted to go "Nooooo!" I'm sure he'll be six sheets to the wind by the time he gets back. He always is when he goes out with "friends". It drives me bananas not being able to just relax. I keep telling myself there's some good in this outing. The other guy's driving and I have my car so at least I don't have to worry about another impaired. It was also nice that he actually called and asked as opposed to a note on the table when I came home. Yeesh. It always happens on nights I have to get up at 5 a.m. for work so I can't sleep all night.
I know I'm being a weiner and I wish I could get to the point that some of you guys are where the worrying stops. Well, off to try to catch a few zzzz's. Sigh.....
I know I'm being a weiner and I wish I could get to the point that some of you guys are where the worrying stops. Well, off to try to catch a few zzzz's. Sigh.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 425
Hi, I don't think you're being a weiner lol.
I know that you feel like you don't want to control him, and you say that there is some good in this outing. Outings for our partners are good. It is good for them to do the male bonding thing, however, if you are dealing with an alcoholic, an outing is another drunk. You know that from past history and that is why you are anxious.
I totally understand how you could be feeling that way.
Are you familiar with the serenity prayer? Do you go to alanon meetings? If you choose to stay with your partner and not go crazy with anziety, I would highly recommend these things.
If you are familiar with them, then review them for yourself right now. Basically there is not a dam thing you can do, and worry will just ruin your night and your tomorrow.
I feel compassion for you, and recognize the challenges you have. Please though, be good to yourself, take care of yourself. Lay in bed and talk with your Higher Power and try to sleep for you.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Diana
I know that you feel like you don't want to control him, and you say that there is some good in this outing. Outings for our partners are good. It is good for them to do the male bonding thing, however, if you are dealing with an alcoholic, an outing is another drunk. You know that from past history and that is why you are anxious.
I totally understand how you could be feeling that way.
Are you familiar with the serenity prayer? Do you go to alanon meetings? If you choose to stay with your partner and not go crazy with anziety, I would highly recommend these things.
If you are familiar with them, then review them for yourself right now. Basically there is not a dam thing you can do, and worry will just ruin your night and your tomorrow.
I feel compassion for you, and recognize the challenges you have. Please though, be good to yourself, take care of yourself. Lay in bed and talk with your Higher Power and try to sleep for you.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Diana
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: mission viejo, ca
Posts: 20
you're not wired at all, i know exactly how you feel and my heart is with you. i broke up with my Abf of four years almost three months ago and thanks GOD and all these people here, i feel sane and myself again although i'm still recovering.
being worried about them when they are out is very typical espcially when they are out with other male friends who drink. i was just like you, i could never be relaxed when he was out with his friends, i had to call once or twice to make sure he's ok and at times when he wouldn't answer his phone it used to drive me up the walls. but the bottom line is that he knows what he's doing the fact that he's calling you to confirm with you is just his way of making sure he still has you when he comes home after his wild drinkng nights, he's comforting himself that it's ok to drink because he CONFIRMED it with you and you said ok, he's not worried about you, so he can go and drink. since you know how he is when he's drinking, it bothers you and that makes you anxious and worried. there's really nothing you can do except to think if that's what you really want to tolerate in the future. you can only control yourself in the relationship and do what's best for you. if you can learn to detach yourself at times like this and do something different like catching up with your things or hanging with friends and NOT be worried then you can do just fine, it's not easy but with time it's doable.
be strong and think of you cause you're worth it.
being worried about them when they are out is very typical espcially when they are out with other male friends who drink. i was just like you, i could never be relaxed when he was out with his friends, i had to call once or twice to make sure he's ok and at times when he wouldn't answer his phone it used to drive me up the walls. but the bottom line is that he knows what he's doing the fact that he's calling you to confirm with you is just his way of making sure he still has you when he comes home after his wild drinkng nights, he's comforting himself that it's ok to drink because he CONFIRMED it with you and you said ok, he's not worried about you, so he can go and drink. since you know how he is when he's drinking, it bothers you and that makes you anxious and worried. there's really nothing you can do except to think if that's what you really want to tolerate in the future. you can only control yourself in the relationship and do what's best for you. if you can learn to detach yourself at times like this and do something different like catching up with your things or hanging with friends and NOT be worried then you can do just fine, it's not easy but with time it's doable.
be strong and think of you cause you're worth it.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
In my household, we call each other weiners...Our version of winners.
It took me quite a while before I was able to detach enough to sleep when I knew he was roaming the bars. And it seemed that when I was able to sleep, I could better cope with the "apologetic idiot" in the morning and just walk away or ignore him.
Try and catch some zzzzzzzzzzz's whenever you get the opportunity. Sleep deprivation causes so many physical and emotional problems. God knows we don't need any other discomforts in our lives.
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Kathy
It took me quite a while before I was able to detach enough to sleep when I knew he was roaming the bars. And it seemed that when I was able to sleep, I could better cope with the "apologetic idiot" in the morning and just walk away or ignore him.
Try and catch some zzzzzzzzzzz's whenever you get the opportunity. Sleep deprivation causes so many physical and emotional problems. God knows we don't need any other discomforts in our lives.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzAquianazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z
Kathy
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