Memories of Early Morning Drinking
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Memories of Early Morning Drinking
I woke up today at 4am to take care of little one. An hour early for her so I’m assuming she was really hungry.
Fed her, played with her, and then she got tired pretty early so I put her back down. Up so early and no little one to entertain I decided to make my husband breakfast before work.
Sipping my coffee while staring out the window as the dark sky started showing lighter blue shades of light indicating the sun was rising soon reminded me of my drinking days.
Surrounded by the familiar smell of bacon cooking and the soft glow of the stove light I recalled how I use to wake up before the sun rose bc I had been drinking heavily the night before. Oftentimes still drunk, I’d decided to cook a breakfast sandwich to eat on his way to work.
He use to brag to his coworkers how lucky he was to have such a doting wife and they envied his warm and good smelling breakfast. Meanwhile I waited for him to leave then would drive to the gas station to pick up a six pack of tall boys. I’d settle in my bed and start drinking till I fell asleep again. I didn’t really feel guilt but I remember thinking if only he knew.
Funny thing is is that I kind of missed it. Don’t know why really just did. I guess maybe what I’m missing is the ability to go back to bed and zone out. But can’t now bc of my precious little one. No resentments or anything just miss that early drinking before my husband found out.
He still doesn’t know that I use to do that. And I guess I’ll never tell him. But, I’m happy to say instead of drinking this morning after he left, I sat and sipped some coffee. Nice to be able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee again.
Fed her, played with her, and then she got tired pretty early so I put her back down. Up so early and no little one to entertain I decided to make my husband breakfast before work.
Sipping my coffee while staring out the window as the dark sky started showing lighter blue shades of light indicating the sun was rising soon reminded me of my drinking days.
Surrounded by the familiar smell of bacon cooking and the soft glow of the stove light I recalled how I use to wake up before the sun rose bc I had been drinking heavily the night before. Oftentimes still drunk, I’d decided to cook a breakfast sandwich to eat on his way to work.
He use to brag to his coworkers how lucky he was to have such a doting wife and they envied his warm and good smelling breakfast. Meanwhile I waited for him to leave then would drive to the gas station to pick up a six pack of tall boys. I’d settle in my bed and start drinking till I fell asleep again. I didn’t really feel guilt but I remember thinking if only he knew.
Funny thing is is that I kind of missed it. Don’t know why really just did. I guess maybe what I’m missing is the ability to go back to bed and zone out. But can’t now bc of my precious little one. No resentments or anything just miss that early drinking before my husband found out.
He still doesn’t know that I use to do that. And I guess I’ll never tell him. But, I’m happy to say instead of drinking this morning after he left, I sat and sipped some coffee. Nice to be able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee again.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
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Different facts but I can relate to the early morning drinking, the hiding and the strange nostalgia of those horrible days. It's nothing I would act on and memories filled with pain and sadness and strung deep with anxiety. Glad to have the kind of morning you described. Thank you for the post.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
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I have awful memories of drinking as soon as I woke up. 
I would have the shakes so bad and would drink a glass of wine (or two or three) to stop them.
So glad I don't do that anymore.
I would have the shakes so bad and would drink a glass of wine (or two or three) to stop them. So glad I don't do that anymore.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,181
I remember waiting for my wife and kids to head out in the morning during the week, and then start drinking. Later in the afternoon, I would start chugging coffee to reasonably sober up enough to talk to the kids and wife when they got home. Then after pleasantries were exchanged, I would have my "first" drink of the day, everyone presumed, while I was making dinner. I felt "lucky" that I had the house to myself most of the day so that I could drink in peace. What a horrible existence.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 181
How about waiting for the store to open in the morning because you ran out?!? There were a many times I would wake up, chug the equivalent of probably 2-3 glasses of wine, wait until everyone left for the day, and go out to buy more...at like 8 a.m! It was a sad existence. I am so glad those days are over. Now, I wake up, drink coffee.....delicious coffee....get ready, and go to work like I am supposed to 🙂
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: UK
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Yes buying wine in the morning with hands shaking so much you can hardly hand over the money is not a cool look. What a slave it can make of us, and I always found it quite a job to keep buying booze every day.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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I have memories of early morning drinking too. I don’t ever miss it though because the circumstances that led to my choosing to drink during that time were awful. I was dealing with a special needs kid and completely stressed out. I tend to associate alcohol now with a very dark time in my life and lots of bad memories. So glad that time in my life has passed and I’m better at dealing with all of life’s challenges sober
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
I think it is natural to feel what you are feeling...
It is a well ingrained habit...and one that you used to relax and didn't have any consequences for...but there is a reason you stopped drinking...so when your mind starts to have that nostalgia...you have to quickly counteract your "missing" that feeling with remembering what happened during your drinking days...and why you need to develop new habits to replace those thoughts.
It takes 21 times to form or break a habit...So 20 more times you may feel like that early in the morning...but if you stick to your new routine...the thoughts will be a thing of the past.
It is a well ingrained habit...and one that you used to relax and didn't have any consequences for...but there is a reason you stopped drinking...so when your mind starts to have that nostalgia...you have to quickly counteract your "missing" that feeling with remembering what happened during your drinking days...and why you need to develop new habits to replace those thoughts.
It takes 21 times to form or break a habit...So 20 more times you may feel like that early in the morning...but if you stick to your new routine...the thoughts will be a thing of the past.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
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Many a morning reaching over to the nightstand after waking and drinking what was left in a quart bottle of malt liquor. Swill. Horrible. Drinking that till, I puked, and I could function enough to walk to the store to buy more.
When it got bad at the end, I would wake up and drink until 8am when the liquor store opened and buy two shooters of whiskey to drink on the three block walk home to kick things in. Then beer till late at night.
This was every, or every other, day. Yeah, I drank a lot
When it got bad at the end, I would wake up and drink until 8am when the liquor store opened and buy two shooters of whiskey to drink on the three block walk home to kick things in. Then beer till late at night.
This was every, or every other, day. Yeah, I drank a lot
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Originally Posted by Readytodothis 
How about waiting for the store to open in the morning because you ran out?!?
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
These descriptions are so visceral. I never got to the point where I had to drink in the morning, but I'm guessing If I'd kept it up, I would have eventually. This thread has me so grateful that I stopped and that I never have to go there.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Horrible memories for me too - waking up feeling sick, thought beer or warm wine in the laundry room (gross) would make it better, it only made it worse and I would spend the day in a state of nauseous despair.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
I would occasionally get a flashback of doing some morning drinking on weekends since my husband was sleeping off the night before. I also was like what or why would I miss this? It would obviously ruin the entire day, wasted away. I generally feel that I enjoyed the alone time, the getting away with something. I guess. Now I just enjoy the tea, and sometimes a walk or breakfast. I enjoyed the alone time and I can now, sans booze.
Although he wakes up earlier now too..given that his drinking buddy quit (me) so his drinking has basically stopped in support when it’s just us two on weekends.
Although he wakes up earlier now too..given that his drinking buddy quit (me) so his drinking has basically stopped in support when it’s just us two on weekends.
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 68
Saturday and Sunday morning beers. I would load up a little cooler with 6-8 beers and hop in the truck to go "look for deer" at my hunting spots. This would usually be around 6 or 7 oclock am. At each spot I would down 2-3 beers and move to the next spots until they were gone. Then return home and if no one was up yet, I would sit in my barn and have a couple more. Once everyone was up I would say my good mornings and no one had a clue. I would then act like I was doing something constructive out there and chug one or two and hour. It was amazing how much beer I could consume throughout the day. I would usually stop drinking, sometimes, in the late afternoon and be passed out by 9 pm. This happened Saturday and Sunday for quite some time. I am really glad, and so is my body, that this isn't happening anymore. You would have thought I would have felt ashamed of this, but somehow I didn't. These days I still go scout my spots but I have a hot travel mug full of coffee with me instead of beers.
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Originally Posted by MJP73
Saturday and Sunday morning beers. I would load up a little cooler with 6-8 beers and hop in the truck to go "look for deer" at my hunting spots. This would usually be around 6 or 7 oclock am. At each spot I would down 2-3 beers and move to the next spots until they were gone. Then return home and if no one was up yet, I would sit in my barn and have a couple more. Once everyone was up I would say my good mornings and no one had a clue. I would then act like I was doing something constructive out there and chug one or two and hour. It was amazing how much beer I could consume throughout the day. I would usually stop drinking, sometimes, in the late afternoon and be passed out by 9 pm. This happened Saturday and Sunday for quite some time. I am really glad, and so is my body, that this isn't happening anymore. You would have thought I would have felt ashamed of this, but somehow I didn't. These days I still go scout my spots but I have a hot travel mug full of coffee with me instead of beers.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
This thread brings back some unpleasant memories for me. And that's a good thing, because every once in awhile I like a reminder so that I don't become complacent.
At the end stages of my alcoholism, most of the time when I was drinking I would save a couple of beers for the next morning to ease the hangover and the shakes (vodka was my main poison).
Sometimes it didn't work out that way and I would drive to the other side of town to buy beer right at 8:00 a.m. when it was legal. I would then drink a couple of beers with my Egg McMuffin, and I would be ok.
I remember one time when I didn't have enough alcohol to save any for the next morning. Unfortunately for me, the next morning was a Sunday, and the law in my state was that no alcohol could be sold before noon. I considered driving 50 miles one way to another state to get some beer. I went online first and discovered that no alcohol sales were allowed before noon in that state either. I had a miserable morning.
Today, I'm very grateful that I don't live like that anymore.
At the end stages of my alcoholism, most of the time when I was drinking I would save a couple of beers for the next morning to ease the hangover and the shakes (vodka was my main poison).
Sometimes it didn't work out that way and I would drive to the other side of town to buy beer right at 8:00 a.m. when it was legal. I would then drink a couple of beers with my Egg McMuffin, and I would be ok.
I remember one time when I didn't have enough alcohol to save any for the next morning. Unfortunately for me, the next morning was a Sunday, and the law in my state was that no alcohol could be sold before noon. I considered driving 50 miles one way to another state to get some beer. I went online first and discovered that no alcohol sales were allowed before noon in that state either. I had a miserable morning.
Today, I'm very grateful that I don't live like that anymore.
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