Medical Diagnosis not enough
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
Medical Diagnosis not enough
Hey all. I am hoping to find some info (experience based) on the medical side of alcoholism. I have talked with the doctors and of course done my own research but sometimes, the best information comes from those who have been through it.
MY AH is actively drinking. Prior to this, he had a hernia that needed to be repaired from a previous surgery. It was non-emergent and other than being uncomfortable, it was not causing him distress. He now has 4 hernias in his belly and last night was complaining of a weird pressure pain in his lower stomach (think bladder area). My question is whether this could be related to the alcohol he is consuming? I cannot find any info suggesting a correlation, but sometimes experience is a better informant.
Of course, he has no intention of having these repaired. He does not want the trouble or the pain of recovery. I think it is actually because they will make him sober up to do the surgery (last time he had to have 21 days clean by blood test)...
His brain seems a little less functional these days. He always has the smell of death about him. I am not looking forward to the cooler weather and having to keep my windows closed...
Detaching is getting easier but I do not like to see him go down this path. I am just here working on me and trying not to worry too much about things I cannot control.
MY AH is actively drinking. Prior to this, he had a hernia that needed to be repaired from a previous surgery. It was non-emergent and other than being uncomfortable, it was not causing him distress. He now has 4 hernias in his belly and last night was complaining of a weird pressure pain in his lower stomach (think bladder area). My question is whether this could be related to the alcohol he is consuming? I cannot find any info suggesting a correlation, but sometimes experience is a better informant.
Of course, he has no intention of having these repaired. He does not want the trouble or the pain of recovery. I think it is actually because they will make him sober up to do the surgery (last time he had to have 21 days clean by blood test)...
His brain seems a little less functional these days. He always has the smell of death about him. I am not looking forward to the cooler weather and having to keep my windows closed...
Detaching is getting easier but I do not like to see him go down this path. I am just here working on me and trying not to worry too much about things I cannot control.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 63
Is he pale? My AXH once had an ulcer (due to drinking) that caused his red blood cell count to plummet and nearly did him in. He really didn't have symptoms except for being very pale. Three nurses in the family noticed this at a Thanksgiving gathering. I hadn't noticed it at all, either because I saw him every day and was used to it or was preoccupied with other problems.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
My dad, was an alcoholic and he died of some perforated ulcer. No idea what his symptoms were as nobody kept in touch. Alcohol is a poison. If he was drinking diluted bleach you'd have him down in casualty every night of the week. There's very little research into the medical harm alcohol has. We're all warned about cirrhosis and heart disease but it pecks away at the body as insidiously as it fries the brain. I'm kind of waiting for the big medical reveal of how damaging alcohol is.. In the same way cigarettes were finally exposed.
Look after yourself. Prepare for the worst. Sorry for being so harsh. I hope the pain may be a wake up call. But sadly he'll probably just self medicate.
Look after yourself. Prepare for the worst. Sorry for being so harsh. I hope the pain may be a wake up call. But sadly he'll probably just self medicate.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 73
Abdominal hernias feel like tugging sensation, sometimes pressure, sometimes burning. I just had 2 repaired and that’s what it felt like to me, and I don’t drink. I would think drinking may make it worse though, I had to eat smaller meals spread out to avoid the pressure in my abdomen before surgery. I’m 4 weeks post op currently
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
I’ve had abdominal surgery and bleeding stomach ulcers. I’m not an alcoholic. Unfortunately there could be a million reasons for his physical pain. May be related to alcoholism, might not be... but really there’s nothing you can do except call 911/paramedics if his pain increases to the point where help is needed.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i agree with Life - the best we could do here is speculate, at worst end up giving something akin to bad medical advice.
instead of trying to figure out what is wrong with his insides, considering that he at this time has no plan or desire to DO anything about anything, it's best to consider and rehearse next steps, should he fall severely ill.
and also, this might be how HE chooses to live his days......but is this how you want YOURS to go? watching someone slowly (or not so slowly) kill themselves? you can give up your front row seat anytime!
instead of trying to figure out what is wrong with his insides, considering that he at this time has no plan or desire to DO anything about anything, it's best to consider and rehearse next steps, should he fall severely ill.
and also, this might be how HE chooses to live his days......but is this how you want YOURS to go? watching someone slowly (or not so slowly) kill themselves? you can give up your front row seat anytime!
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Some people wind up conflating discomfort with pain or work themselves into a panic over thinking about an injury or surgery. Just one second of pain and million thoughts and emotions could run through someone's mind.
Also before surgery did they make him stop drinking prior? Some kind of withdrawal after surgery?
Also before surgery did they make him stop drinking prior? Some kind of withdrawal after surgery?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
To answer a few questions at once:
his first surgery was to remove a section of his colon that had "died" The repair meant he had to have an ileostomy placed for 6 weeks. After this was repaired and his intestines were all hooked back up, he developed the first hernia. He had a hernia repair 6 weeks later (3 surgeries in 4 months) About 5 months later, he was in a car accident and that repair had a little tear in it.
Before the colon surgery, he was hospitalized for 6 weeks while his liver enzymes, kidneys and metabolic systems "fixed" themselves. He was a very angry person during that time....there were several doctors and nurses that would not work with him at all!
Since he has been drinking steadily (January 2019) these have been increasing in pain and in size.
As for me? I have finally come out of the fog and working towards settling up our finances and situations with the children in the event of his eventual demise. He lives to drink. He lives to make drama and then blame everyone else. I am living for myself and my kids for the first time in years and it really feels good.
I do not think I am abandoning him at all as these are his choices. I have stopped feeling guilty about detaching. However, I still love him. I do not think that changes. He is just self-destructing and I do not wish for our children to have that experience.
I lost my very best friend in the whole world in 2003 to this disease. She was FINALLY 10 days sober. She had called me early in that day to ask if I would help her prepare for a job interview. She was getting an apartment and a divorce from her crazy AH. That night, we were at dinner and the neighbor called. They found her in the bathroom. She had an ulcer rupture and was bleeding out on her bathroom floor. She hung on for a month. I remember the last time I saw her. She was yellow like you cannot understand if you have never seen it before. She had blue eyes and she was just shaking her head and crying. She died later that night. It was the most horrific thing I have ever been through. I will not stand by and watch that again. We are working on getting out but it is a slow process because of other circumstances.
I have filed for separation. I am currently working with a DV advocate and saving every single penny of money I can. ...while quietly keeping the peace in my home. I am grateful for this group and the peace of mind I find coming here!
his first surgery was to remove a section of his colon that had "died" The repair meant he had to have an ileostomy placed for 6 weeks. After this was repaired and his intestines were all hooked back up, he developed the first hernia. He had a hernia repair 6 weeks later (3 surgeries in 4 months) About 5 months later, he was in a car accident and that repair had a little tear in it.
Before the colon surgery, he was hospitalized for 6 weeks while his liver enzymes, kidneys and metabolic systems "fixed" themselves. He was a very angry person during that time....there were several doctors and nurses that would not work with him at all!
Since he has been drinking steadily (January 2019) these have been increasing in pain and in size.
As for me? I have finally come out of the fog and working towards settling up our finances and situations with the children in the event of his eventual demise. He lives to drink. He lives to make drama and then blame everyone else. I am living for myself and my kids for the first time in years and it really feels good.
I do not think I am abandoning him at all as these are his choices. I have stopped feeling guilty about detaching. However, I still love him. I do not think that changes. He is just self-destructing and I do not wish for our children to have that experience.
I lost my very best friend in the whole world in 2003 to this disease. She was FINALLY 10 days sober. She had called me early in that day to ask if I would help her prepare for a job interview. She was getting an apartment and a divorce from her crazy AH. That night, we were at dinner and the neighbor called. They found her in the bathroom. She had an ulcer rupture and was bleeding out on her bathroom floor. She hung on for a month. I remember the last time I saw her. She was yellow like you cannot understand if you have never seen it before. She had blue eyes and she was just shaking her head and crying. She died later that night. It was the most horrific thing I have ever been through. I will not stand by and watch that again. We are working on getting out but it is a slow process because of other circumstances.
I have filed for separation. I am currently working with a DV advocate and saving every single penny of money I can. ...while quietly keeping the peace in my home. I am grateful for this group and the peace of mind I find coming here!
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