Using my sobriety tools this weekend
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Using my sobriety tools this weekend
Some of you are aware of my difficult journey to sobriety in regards to my husband. He is an alcoholic who did/does not understand my path. A lot of hurt and anger has accompanied me on this journey.
We have come a long way through the help of an amazing counselor and open communication. He still does not understand my path, but he now respects my path and my aversion to formerly “fun” activities.
With that said, we are hosting a party this weekend. We have invited a mix of normal drinkers and the heavy drinkers. I know what the night will turn into, I have no delusions about any of it. I actually like some of the heavy drinkers. I just don’t like when they are drunk and the “switch” in them is flipped. That is when I leave.
The difference this time around is that my husband is aware of my escape plans and he supports them. I know that I will be using my sobriety tools and I know I will be ok. It’s not an ideal situation, for sure, but I know I have the strength to take control, use my tools, and put my needs first.
We have come a long way through the help of an amazing counselor and open communication. He still does not understand my path, but he now respects my path and my aversion to formerly “fun” activities.
With that said, we are hosting a party this weekend. We have invited a mix of normal drinkers and the heavy drinkers. I know what the night will turn into, I have no delusions about any of it. I actually like some of the heavy drinkers. I just don’t like when they are drunk and the “switch” in them is flipped. That is when I leave.
The difference this time around is that my husband is aware of my escape plans and he supports them. I know that I will be using my sobriety tools and I know I will be ok. It’s not an ideal situation, for sure, but I know I have the strength to take control, use my tools, and put my needs first.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Originally Posted by FitDrinker 
How has your weekend been AtLast? Wishing you the best!
Hope your weekend has been smooth for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Good morning hey thats awesome we both had to bust out our tool box and put it to work. I too had a situation where the neighbor upstairs was having a get together. It looked like fun.. .at first. Then fast forward and then you sewn the real fun. Lol. Dozen zombies carrying on. Lol. I'm not hating 121 days ago I would of been all in . but like you I went in the room tv on and shut down for the night. In peace and greatful I didnt say bleep it . good o tool box. ✌
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Atlast - good to see you here, sober. We continue on somewhat parallel tracks. I also know what it's like to spend a "fun" night or a "getaway" weekend with friends who are heavy drinkers. It's not fun or a getaway, and I always end up with mixed feelings about it, typically combined with feelings of separate aloneness etc. Feel your pain. More though, happy to see you here doing the good work.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I don't look at drinkers as normal or heavy or even moderate.
They are all addicts and pretty much blinded by their av.
I have explained this to a few actives, e.g. my Dad, and they have little to no ability to grasp their predicament.
Trying to save them never works. Aa told me the addict must come to me.
I love parties and always find at least 1 person that doesn't drink. I relate to them. Usually at parties now i enjoy a refreshing water and hopefully some awesome party food.
Then i relax and enjoy the show. Watching folks go from cravingnaddict to drunk addict is a sick sad show. It is going to happen regardless and they think i have a problem because i dont drink.
Sometimes i pretend like i am drunk and get into the conversations with them. There really is nothing to learn from a drunk, but looking at those glazed sad eyes keeps me sober.
Thanks.
They are all addicts and pretty much blinded by their av.
I have explained this to a few actives, e.g. my Dad, and they have little to no ability to grasp their predicament.
Trying to save them never works. Aa told me the addict must come to me.
I love parties and always find at least 1 person that doesn't drink. I relate to them. Usually at parties now i enjoy a refreshing water and hopefully some awesome party food.
Then i relax and enjoy the show. Watching folks go from cravingnaddict to drunk addict is a sick sad show. It is going to happen regardless and they think i have a problem because i dont drink.
Sometimes i pretend like i am drunk and get into the conversations with them. There really is nothing to learn from a drunk, but looking at those glazed sad eyes keeps me sober.
Thanks.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hows the rest of the weekend going atlast?
D
D
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