Step one
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 821
Dazed, you might find Melodie Beattie's Step comments helpful as you work on each. I think that what she has to say about Step 1 is foundational for the entirety of involvement in the program - the Steps are meant to be worked on with others, either directly or in fellowship. One of the factors that bring many of us to AlAnon is our previous propensity to isolate as a learned coping strategy in emotionally impossible situations. Step One helps us begin to choose community over protective insulation. Do you have a sponsor? One of the key functions of a sponsor is to provide mentorship and keep us company as we bravely venture into ourselves to create a better life.
Melodie Beatty:
"One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution. Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery. We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hope—for better lives and relationships."
Melodie Beatty:
"One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution. Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery. We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hope—for better lives and relationships."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by FallenAngelina 
Dazed, you might find Melodie Beattie's Step comments helpful as you work on each. I think that what she has to say about Step 1 is foundational for the entirety of involvement in the program - the Steps are meant to be worked on with others, either directly or in fellowship. One of the factors that bring many of us to AlAnon is our previous propensity to isolate as a learned coping strategy in emotionally impossible situations. Step One helps us begin to choose community over protective insulation. Do you have a sponsor? One of the key functions of a sponsor is to provide mentorship and keep us company as we bravely venture into ourselves to create a better life.
Melodie Beatty:
"One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution. Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery. We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hope—for better lives and relationships."
Melodie Beatty:
"One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution. Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery. We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hope—for better lives and relationships."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
I never felt safe to express my truths before, I was always looking out for the other persons feelings first. I’m not doing that anymore; but I’m fragile right now and do not want to chance falling back into old patterns that ultimately hurt me.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Dazed.....as you say that you are easily influenced......could you be talking about boundaries, here...…..
Could it be that you could use some duct tape and bailing wire to patch some places in your boundaries.....?
Could it be that you could use some duct tape and bailing wire to patch some places in your boundaries.....?
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 821
Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
I get that. I tried a sponsor once, but she was too controlling over a lot of my life. Go figure. Lol. I understand one sponsor is not a watershed and in time I might consider another.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by dandylion
Dazed.....as you say that you are easily influenced......could you be talking about boundaries, here...…..
Could it be that you could use some duct tape and bailing wire to patch some places in your boundaries.....?
Could it be that you could use some duct tape and bailing wire to patch some places in your boundaries.....?
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