swlnyc2017

Hello, I chair a meditation meeting where there is a 10-15 meditation followed by round robin sharing. It's a wonderful, peaceful meeting, and because of that, we have grown. What was once a small group of 5-10 has expanded to 25-30. We only have about 30-40 minutes of actual sharing due to the reading and then the mediation. Some people in the group want to go to time shares, others are really against that. I go to other meetings that have timed shares and there seems to be no issue, and it keeps people from rambling, however, sometimes people need to ramble. Would love to hear some thoughts from the board here...business meeting coming up and I know the question will be raised

DayTrader

highly recommend it. some groups use a timer. My home group found that a little "insensitive" to the new ppl.

Home group members and the ppl they sponsor pass the word that it's 2 or 3 min per person as a rule. Table leaders then inform their tables, based upon how many ppl are there, roughly how long each person has to talk if everyone is to share (we break into tables of 5 to 15 ppl per rather than staying in one large group). Table leaders are responsible to make sure their tables end at the appropriate time so we can do a group prayer. If the table isn't finished, they're welcome to go back to sharing after the prayer.

Brand new ppl are given some slack - they probably haven't learned the deal yet so if it's the first or second meeting for them, we typically let them talk. Of course, if it get too crazy, its the duty of the table leader to gently stop them and offer to speak to the person after the meeting.

My great grand-sponsor had 55 years and I never heard him share for over 4 minutes.... maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe 5. He always used to say, "The Gettysburg address was said in less than 5 minutes - who are we to think that what we share at a meeting is MORE important than one one of the most famous speeches in history?"

DayTrader

I would also add that it's been probably NEVER that what I said for 10 minutes really needed 10 minutes. It always could not have been said better in 5 or less.

Anytime I'm talking over 5 minutes (unless it's for an open talk or a lead discussion where I'm the speaker for the evening), it's about my false ego and attempting to impress ppl in the group.

August252015

What DT said.

I've learned to sit and think about whether something I want to share is better for the meeting's needs- or to take to my sponsor. That's usually a difference in time as well as ESH topics too.

tomsteve

business meeting and a vote will take care of the problem.
might be wise to think/discuss the amount of time being taken up with reading(s) before the real meeting starts. my personal favorite meetings are ones that dont do a ton of reading(s),pick a topic, and get to the business we are there for real quicklike. seems better if theres extra time at the end of the meeting than if someone didnt get to share

48heath

Discuss it at the Group Conscience meeting,hold a vote and go with the majority.

Grungehead

I prefer timed meetings unless it's a small group. At most of the meetings I attend we spend the better part of 15 minutes with readings, announcements and giving out chips at the start/end of meetings. That leaves 45 minutes for discussion (or reading/discussion if it's a bb or step/tradition meeting). So if you limit sharing to 5 minutes that gives you a minimum of 9 shares, and if limiting shares to 3 minutes that gives you a minimum of 15 shares.

My home group averages 20-30 attendees and we have a "hard stop" at 5 minutes, but at the start of meeting the chairperson suggests limiting shares to 3-5 minutes. We have a stopwatch the chairperson can use, but most of the people that chair are home group members, use their phone, and will give the person sharing a visual cue at 3 minutes, which gives them a minute or 2 to wrap things up.

Tommyh

my home group has a 5 minute limit
When I chair I use a timer on my phone,and it buzzes when time is up
that means
wrap it up and finish
or I will pick up the bell and ring it on ya

Dave42001

I’ve heard the chair person say, “we have a lot of people please keep your shares to 5+ minutes but I’ve never seen an actual timer.

When I was very new I saw a guy ring the bell at someone who was rambling.. I’ve only seen that happen one time in 6+ years.

In my area the person chairing the meeting picks the way we will share at any meeting. I.e, we will start here and go around, we have tag meetings where you share and pick someone after you share or most common, open it up to anyone..

Thanks for the topic and have a great day.

tomsteve

5 PLUS minutes?????

Tommyh

at one small meeting I go to they ask,please keep your sharing to 5 minutes or less,at a time

Ken33xx

That's the way it is at the meetings I attend. And if everyone has shared and there's say 10 minutes left in the meeting members can speak again. .

What I've noticed is a number of retired fellows who I suspect ramble because outside of the rooms they are alone.

Who else is going listen to what they share be it AA related or not?

Busted marriages and broken families have left them with few family ties.

hopeful4

My group in Celebrate Recovery used a timer. It was explained to the group why the timer was there, to allow everyone who wanted to speak a chance. Now, if everyone spoke who wanted to, then we opened it up for more sharing without the timer if time allowed. Wow, what a run on sentence LOL.

I think for myself it allowed me to really focus on what I needed to say and not block up the group with other random thoughts.

Just my two cents!

Tommyh

bell.jpg

our 3.00 bell

Derringer

No one 'needs' to ramble. It's just selfish inconsiderate behavior and it's usually exhibited by the same handful of people every time they get asked.
100% back timed shares.

August252015

FIVE? That's crazy. And way too long to hear someone give a meaningful share- that's story-time-territory. Around here it's either 3, 3-4, or under 4, depending on the leader. We do double dip at one of the sometimes very small (like8-10) people where we all know each other- but still keep it timely.

I have found when meetings are well run and the "rule of thumb" is established and verbalized at the beginning, people generally follow along and calling time in some way isn't often necessary.

sugarbear1

like 48heath said, have a Group Conscience and a vote......communicate among the group members to come to a conclusion

Ken33xx

So much depends on the size of the meeting. You usually get 7-10 people with two who pass on sharing. You're going to have time left.

Larger meeting with 15 or more regulars attending than 2-3 minutes is what I often find.

Before I moved I attended a Sat 7 p.m. and sometimes there were only 4-6 in attendance. So, we rambled or double dipped.

All depends on the meeting size. Personally I like meetings 7-12.

I go to an AA clubhouse and there's a 6:15 meeting. Easily 20-30 members a night. Tons of sweets but it's not for me. The meeting is drama filled with a lot of single AA guys/gals doing their thing.

Tommyh

my home group is a big book step group,in addition to the time limit on sharing,we only share if we have big book experience on the step being studied.If you share,it better be the big book or the bell goes off signaling you are off track.
We go around the room,no going back double dipping ,when we hit the end of the line,it`s over,close the meeting
currently we have the best success rate of any group around here

DayTrader

When I was new, 100% self centered, and only went to meetings for ME so I could share to benefit ME, I would have hated a meeting like that.

After a about a year of not drinking AND not recovering and wishing my darn life would just end, I walked into a meeting very similar and fiiiiiiiiinally got open to the solution that AA guaranteed it had. Bless your homegroup - were it not for places like this stubborn guys like me who insist that meetings are to share whatever they want anytime they want probably would have offed themselves .