trauma trigger - my fault
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
trauma trigger - my fault
TRAUMA TRIGGER
the time i used heron i did a sexual favours for it
the guy i smoked heron with raped me its only now am posting about it ended up taken an od on Thursday am ok now got tests done my fault
i think i need help i have asked nothing is happened yet am waiting for help going NA / AA no one knows and i cant talk about it am not reporting it as it was my fault
i am sorry i had to post this but i need support
the time i used heron i did a sexual favours for it
the guy i smoked heron with raped me its only now am posting about it ended up taken an od on Thursday am ok now got tests done my fault
i think i need help i have asked nothing is happened yet am waiting for help going NA / AA no one knows and i cant talk about it am not reporting it as it was my fault
i am sorry i had to post this but i need support
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm really sorry River.
This was not 'your fault' tho.
It was a bad decision to buy heroin, and a bad decision if you've given out sexual favours before for this? but noone asks - or deserves - to be raped.
I hope you do decide to talk about it with the police or someone experienced in these matters - you were attacked and abused - at least be counselled in what your legal options are.
Does your husband know?
I agree with you tho- I think you need more help than what you're getting right now.
You were doing well for a very long time - somethings amiss here.
Please make an appointment with your doctor/.therapist.
We really do care about you and want you to be happy.
D
This was not 'your fault' tho.
It was a bad decision to buy heroin, and a bad decision if you've given out sexual favours before for this? but noone asks - or deserves - to be raped.
I hope you do decide to talk about it with the police or someone experienced in these matters - you were attacked and abused - at least be counselled in what your legal options are.
Does your husband know?
I agree with you tho- I think you need more help than what you're getting right now.
You were doing well for a very long time - somethings amiss here.
Please make an appointment with your doctor/.therapist.
We really do care about you and want you to be happy.
D
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
its my dads birthday on the 31st they put me on the wrong meds that made me manic and i exploded not there fault i been away from forums for a while this time of year make my mental health worse
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
River, rape is never, ever your fault, ever.
The person who you raped you is responsible, even if you previously agreed to have sex with him.
I hope you take Dee's advice and speak to the police and/or get some counselling for this. I think you need some help processing what happened and dealing with the guilt.
The person who you raped you is responsible, even if you previously agreed to have sex with him.
I hope you take Dee's advice and speak to the police and/or get some counselling for this. I think you need some help processing what happened and dealing with the guilt.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
River...I was raped at 17 and I'm 55 now...I did not report it...and now I regret not reporting it...I thought it was my fault also.
At least WRITE down his name and put it somewhere...because if he did this to you..he is most likely going to do this to others...there may be a DAY in your future that you will regret not reporting it...but at least you will have a name...and you can keep tabs on him and see if he has been arrested for hurting anyone else....Who knows you could maybe someday help someone else from this situation.
We all KNOW it wasn't your fault...but I also kNOW why you think it was...I was in that situation not with heroin but booze....same thing...I went with someone because of my addiction....
Someday when you realize it is not your fault you will be super angry.
I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope that you can get some help soon I have watched you struggle for the 2 months I have been back on this forum....worried about you.
At least WRITE down his name and put it somewhere...because if he did this to you..he is most likely going to do this to others...there may be a DAY in your future that you will regret not reporting it...but at least you will have a name...and you can keep tabs on him and see if he has been arrested for hurting anyone else....Who knows you could maybe someday help someone else from this situation.
We all KNOW it wasn't your fault...but I also kNOW why you think it was...I was in that situation not with heroin but booze....same thing...I went with someone because of my addiction....
Someday when you realize it is not your fault you will be super angry.
I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope that you can get some help soon I have watched you struggle for the 2 months I have been back on this forum....worried about you.
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
av changed my meds since but there only now started to work am back on the meds that make me burn in the sun but am also back on the meds that had been keeping me stable , before all the others meds the reason i stop them was they where making sleepy and tired am back on then now....as for reporting him i cant deal with it am sorry if i seem selfish of me not reporting this
am going to do threapy with the new church am a member off its £15 a time but i need help and its the only way i can get it
am going to do threapy with the new church am a member off its £15 a time but i need help and its the only way i can get it
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by River 
av changed my meds since but there only now started to work am back on the meds that make me burn in the sun but am also back on the meds that had been keeping me stable , before all the others meds the reason i stop them was they where making sleepy and tired am back on then now....as for reporting him i cant deal with it am sorry if i seem selfish of me not reporting this
am going to do threapy with the new church am a member off its £15 a time but i need help and its the only way i can get it
am going to do threapy with the new church am a member off its £15 a time but i need help and its the only way i can get it
Like his name...the place...the event...and tucking it away...I wish I had done that...
So good to be back on your meds...I got back on mine 2 weeks ago...I noticed this morning they are just starting to work in a good way.
Keep at it River...your life is worth it....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Originally Posted by River
av changed my meds since but there only now started to work am back on the meds that make me burn in the sun but am also back on the meds that had been keeping me stable , before all the others meds the reason i stop them was they where making sleepy and tired am back on then now....as for reporting him i cant deal with it am sorry if i seem selfish of me not reporting this
am going to do threapy with the new church am a member off its £15 a time but i need help and its the only way i can get it
am going to do threapy with the new church am a member off its £15 a time but i need help and its the only way i can get it
But it also demonstrates wisdom.
I have to ask for help all the time.
It certainly sounds like you're pursuing some great channels to get help (AA, NA, therapy, church).
Sorry for your trauma.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
River, this was not your fault. Not at all. But I do understand how you feel. I have been raped twice and once, after not having the courage to say no (thus, I suppose consenting) was severely beaten and abused during the encounter. I have suffered with the guilt over what I did do or did not do during these situations and always have focussed on "my part". For some reason it is quite easy to tell another person that it is absolutely not their fault, but another thing altogether to accept that truth in our own situations.
Please take care of yourself and work with your therapist to come to the same conclusion that we all have- this was not your fault.
Please take care of yourself and work with your therapist to come to the same conclusion that we all have- this was not your fault.
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