Anustart

Hi, all. So I have two-and-a-half years sober. I have some life situations going on that I realize are minor compared to what some people here are facing, but that are on my mind constantly. I don't have conscious cravings and I do read self-improvement literature a lot, but lately I've turned to books about alcoholism: Blackout by Sarah Hepola, Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp, and I've been thinking a lot about John O'Brien and his oeuvre. Could I be using these as vicarious methods of drinking, almost reliving when I had alcohol to put my problems on hold? This just occured to me today...

WaterOx

I hear you. A Love Story was just as enticing as it was repulsive. She’s a great writer and told everything like it was, including the good times with alcohol.

I have listened to that audiobook more than once and each time I wondered if I was going to move farther away from drinking or a step closer to it.

MyLittleHorsie

For me, I find a certain comfort in the sorority of sobriety. I find myself on here more, I don't bang a drum for sobriety and am in no danger of drinking again, however I have some professional stressors right now, spilling everywhere. I find the community here helpful and gives me somewhere else to mentally be.

Perhaps that is your attraction to those books.

I remember trying to read a book once and it was going horribly, my friend told me, when you are ready for what that book is going to tell you, you will be able to read it. It was a feminist, archetypical dissection lol. I read it when what I would learn from it, I needed to learn. Maybe subconsciously, you need what those books will tell you.

Anna

As MyLittleHorsie said, I think certain books come to you or call to you at certain times. I've read Drinking: A Love Story three times, and each time I got something different from the book. It could be that you are seeking certain answers at this point and that's why you are drawn to these books.

brighterday1234

red3215

It's highly possible if you're reading a book about alcohol that makes you feel like you're reliving your drinking experiences, that could be partly what draws you to those books. Definitely.
And it could lead to temptation, I think. You're the best person to determine if that danger is there. Just like some people have said AA meetings make them more tempted to drink, while others obviously don't have that reaction.

Kdon853

I liked drinking a love story. She died in 2002 , lung cancer very sad.

August252015

So this is a really good topic!

I'm almost 3.5 yrs sober. I've found that at various times, certain books like Drinking A Love Story were stellar - in the way that I was moved, related, felt her pain then triumph....and last time I went to reread it? Maybe 6-8 mo ago - I had to put it down. Something just...repulsed me.

I read Blackout very early on and it was pretty much me. All of it. I haven't read it again but probably will.

I'm a believer that going with our gut is the way to go- if something bothers me, I put it down or turn it off...there is so much material out there! Same with TV - a couple months ago we were watching Damages (amazing cast and series originally on FX) and I realized how much I was noticing the (excessive) drinking by the two female leads. I also had relapse dreams around this time....I stopped watching the last season of the show.

A book I ALWAYS love is Out of the Wreck I Rise - it's a literary anthology of recovery, with quotes and excerpts from diaries and letters by historical and famous figures over the (many) years that go along with the pleasantly short and focused chapter ideas. An AA tone but to me more of an all recovery bent. By Neil Sanberg and Sara Badar.

Another is Christopher Kennedy Lawford's book that's a compilation of voices and stories of recovery. Famous, run of the mill, all kinds of people. I forget the name but it's on Amazon.

Russell Brand's Recovery is so irreverently hilarious and spot on that if you haven't picked it up, give it a go. It covers pretty much everything we can be "into"

entropy1964

I think there was a time where certain books about alcoholism and the authors experiences were interesting to me. Now I have no interest in that. And I hate war stories....for the most part. I don't mind stories about what we all experience as part of life, or stuff that has plagued us from our past. But straight up drunkalogues, no thanks.

I do get a lot from people sharing here about relapses and the general mayhem than ensues. It saddens me and even makes me feel a bit ill with empathy for the sufferer. But gosh it is so helpful in reminding me that I will be right there, or worse, if I drink. So I'm super grateful to those brave enough to do that. They may think they are coming here for help, and they are. But they are helping people like me too.

Anustart

Thanks for the suggestions! They'll definitely go onto the Goodreads Want To Read list. I read Russell Brand's Freedom From Your Addictions (or something like that) about a month ago. I went in kinda blind and didn't know it was about the 12 steps. I tried A.A. when I first stopped drinking and just don't think they're for me, but I was still able to take a lot from the book - it definitely made me consider/reconsider the Higher Power concept - and he had some stories and turns of phrase that made me laugh out loud.

Delilah1

I read many recovery books my first year, but haven’t read any since then.

I have found mindfulness to be very helpful when dealing with both nagging little things life throws at me, as well as bigger life issues. I also feel that walking outdoors is helpful to me, there is something about the combination of exercise and nature that is therapeutic.

August252015

Anustart- I think I just had a continuous giggle at his "f*****' 12 steppin'" style so I read it as the non AA version of 12 steps Definitely a take what you want and leave the rest kinda thing!

Tetrax

My take is kind of the opposite. If you're reading a whole bunch of these while you're still drinking (as I did), then they're DEFINITELY warning signs...

Reading them in recovery? I'd say most tend to have the same conclusion (recovery trumps active addiction) so as long as you read to the end you'll probably be fine.

DriGuy

It's normal for a person who wonders about his drinking to read those kinds of books.

August252015

^Yeah, but reading them all sober is different- and our reactions are probably more trustworthy.

bexxed

I’ve read Blackout probably five or six times, and had read it once when I was still drinking. I know what you mean and can’t speak for you but for me, reading it helps ground me in my sobriety, if anything.